


Second Chance at a First Try

by Fallinfromgrace



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Abuse, Adam's only 6, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley First Kiss (Good Omens), Beelzebub is family, Blow Jobs, Crowley can't speak, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, First Time, Florist Crowley (Good Omens), Gabriel's not so bad, Hospitalization, Hurt Crowley, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Old Friends, Pining Aziraphale (Good Omens), Pining Crowley (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), aftermath of child abuse only, frustrated Anathema
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:20:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 55,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallinfromgrace/pseuds/Fallinfromgrace
Summary: Aziraphale is happy in the life he’s living. He has his books and his shop, and his cocoa, what more could he want? Until one day a small boy hides in his shop, his eye bruised and his hope shattered. His eyes are hauntingly familiar but Aziraphale knows he’s never met this small boy before.It doesn’t take long to unravel the mystery of why the boy is there. And when his father shows up, looking for him, bruised and bloody Aziraphale realizes what he recognized in the small boys eyes. Now his life will never be the same, and perhaps that’s good?
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 164
Kudos: 241





	1. While we were Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Okay guys, this is rated for mentions of past child abuse, so pay attention to the tags. There's no detailed description but it is mentioned. There is also mention of long-term physical and mental abuse on an adult. The rating may go up in later chapters, I haven't decided yet. But if the rating does go up for smut it will be very loving, consensual smut. :-)
> 
> This is ultimately a love story, a story about lost friends finally finding each other after being separated by forces beyond their control. About learning to trust love again and everything it has to offer. I hope I've done them all justice.

Aziraphale sat at the counter going over his accounting. He smiled as he went over the numbers; things were looking very good this year. He looked up at the empty bookshop and nodded. It wasn’t, of course, book sales that kept him afloat. He had little to no interest in selling his books. What he really specialized in, and what people paid him extraordinary amounts of money for, was finding very rare, hard to find first editions. It had taken him years to build up the reputation as the one person in London who could find whatever you needed, when it came to books anyway. He sold a few books here in the bookshop, here and there, nothing he was attached to, and never any of his personal first editions.

He sighed when he heard the bell ring over his door alerting him to someone in the shop. He closed his accounting book and stood, straightening his waist coat and putting on a very terse smile. He stepped around the desk to great his customer but the shop was empty. He looked around a little and chuckled. Whoever they were, they must have ducked right back out before the door shut. He stepped back over to his counter and opened his book. As he picked up his pen he heard sniffling coming from farther back in the shop and stood again.

Perhaps they hadn’t left as he’d assumed. He listened closely and heard a stifled sob and his eyes went wide. Someone was crying and by the sound of it, it was not an adult. He ventured back towards the stacks and stopped when he found a small boy, probably around 6 tucked into a corner on the floor, his knees were drawn up to his chest and he was crying. His curly brown hair was in disarray and it looked like his jeans were ripped at the knee. Perhaps he’d fallen down and scraped it and run in here to hide?

“Dear boy,” he said softly and the boys head shot up and Aziraphale gasped in outrage. His eyes, a beautiful golden yellow that tugged at Aziraphale’s memories for some reason, were puffy and red, but it was the bruise, ugly and purple that was forming around one of them, and the split lip that had enraged him. The boy recoiled into his corner further and Aziraphale stopped moving towards him. “It’s okay,” he said softly as he slipped down onto the floor about 5 feet away from him. “You’re safe here.” He told him and the boy looked up at him again, his eyes slightly suspicious.

“My name is...” he trailed off knowing that ‘Aziraphale’ was a mouthful for most adults, so he decided on a childhood nickname. “Zira.” He said softly and the boy’s eyes widened even further and the suspicion seemed to fall as he slowly untucked himself from the corner.

“That’s my middle name,” he said softly and Aziraphale was shocked, that was not a common name. “Well, not technically, technically my middle name is Zachariah.” He said the name with disdain, like it left a nasty flavor in his mouth. “But dad told me if _he’d_ been able to name me it would have been Zira. He even said we could change it if I want to.” 

“Where is your dad dear?” he asked which seemed to be the wrong thing to say because his eyes welled with tears again and a chocking sob escaped him.

“He told me...” He choked on the tears and Aziraphale scooted closer. “He told me to run.” He cried before he started sobbing again and once he was close enough he gathered the small boy into his arms.

“Shhh,” Aziraphale told him softly as he rocked him. “We’ll figure this out, everything will be okay.”

“No...” He said shaking his head his voice slightly muffled in his shoulder. “They’re gonna kill him, I just know it.”

“Who dear?” He asked softly and the boy shuttered and pulled away wiping at his eyes.

“My mum and uncle, she’s not supposed to come, the judge said so, but she showed up with her brother, pounding on the door.” He told him and Aziraphale watched as the boy sniffled. “Dad couldn’t get the bolt locked in time and Uncle Sandy broke the door.” He started crying again and Aziraphale pulled him close and pulled out his mobile. He hated these damned things, but he was glad now that he’d finally gotten one a few months ago.

“It’s okay, we’re going to call the police and they’ll go help your dad and-

“ADAM!” A voice rang out through the shop and the boys eyes widened, but not with fear.

“DAD!” He cried with joy, jerking out of Aziraphale’s arms and scrambling to his feet. He raced out of the stacks and Aziraphale pulled himself to his feet. He hurried to the end of the aisle and found the boy in the arms of a man; both of them were on the floor crying as they hugged. The man had shoulder length red hair that looked like it had been pulled up at some point but most of it had fallen from the band holding it up.

“I’m sorry,” he said pulling back to look at the boy, Adam. “I’m so sorry. I told you never again. I’m so sorry,” The man voice creaked as he sobbed as he checked over his son, running his hands over his shoulders and arms, then back up to his face, cupping his cheeks, tears falling harder when he took in the bruises and split lip. Aziraphale’s eyes went wide when the man had pulled away from his son.

“Anthony?” Aziraphale whispered, he hadn’t meant to, the name had slipped from his lips before he could stop it. The man’s head jerked up to finally take in the other man standing in front of them. Adam watched as his dad’s eyes went wide with wonder. He had a black eye to match his sons and what looked like a hand print on his face that spoke of a very hard slap. His neck looked bruised too and Aziraphale hated to think how he might have gotten those bruises.

“Zira?” he whispered as he pulled himself up, still clinging to his son, Aziraphale saw him wince as he stood, but he refused to let go of him. Aziraphale took a step towards them, he was sure it was Anthony; he’d never seen eyes like his before. Which also explained why he’d recognized Adams eyes, they were almost exactly the same shade of golden yellow.

“Is it really Zira dad, like I’m named after?” Adam asked and Anthony studied him as he took a slow shaky step forward. It had been at least 10 years since he’d seen him, but Anthony was sure this was his childhood friend, his best friend.

“Holly Shit, Zira, it’s really you,” His voice cracked again, he sounded like he had laryngitis, then his eyes closed for a moment and he swayed on his feet. He bent down and set Adam on his feet but when he went to stand back up a sharp pain shot through his head and he groaned.

“Anthony?” he felt a hand on his shoulder and he tried to stand but was pretty sure he was going the other way. He never hit the ground though, he felt strong arms wrap around his shoulders.

“Dad!” He blinked open his eyes and looked up into the frightened eyes of his son and tried to open his mouth but nothing came out and his eyes fluttered closed and he slid into the darkness.

~*~One~*~

Anthony blinked open his eyes to a dimly lit room and soft voices. The last thing he remembered was fleeing after the police showed up to arrest his ex-wife and her brother. He needed to find Adam, oh God, he didn't know where his son was.

He tried to sit up but his head swam and pain laced through his neck and head. He heard chairs scratching the floor and a face he thought he recognized filled his view. His white blonde hair stood up all over the place and his smile was soft and welcoming.

“Ah there you are,” the man said and Anthony opened his mouth but Aziraphale shook his head.

“Don’t try to speak Anthony, your larynx is badly bruised.” Aziraphale told him and he closed his eyes then opened them again.

“Adam,” he whispered with a wince and Aziraphale nodded and bent over and Adam jumped into his arms to look down at his dad. Anthony felt a wave of relief flow through him when he saw Adam. He had a butterfly strip on his lip and his eye looked a bit better. He looked around what he now realized was a hospital room and back at Aziraphale.

“How?” He wheezed out and Aziraphale set Adam gently on his bed by his legs and Adam squirmed around a little and then laid down next to his dads leg.

“After you passed out I was just about to call an ambulance when the police showed up. Seems they followed you when you ran away from the paramedic trying to treat you,” Aziraphale explained with a small smile. “You have a minor concussion, two very badly bruised ribs, a bruised larynx as I said and a pretty nasty head wound. They um... they had to shave the back of your head to get to it I’m afraid.” Anthony made a face of deep displeasure and Aziraphale nodded. “I’m sorry Anthony.”

“Crow...” He cleared his throat and took a deep breath with a wince. “Crowley.” He managed to say with a wince and Aziraphale looked confused. He lifted his hand and pointed at himself.

“Oh, you, you go by Crowley,” Aziraphale said and Crowley nodded his head with a small smile. He looked down and saw that Adam and fallen asleep and looked back up at Aziraphale. “You’ve been out for about nine hours, it’s just after 3am, and he refused to sleep until he knew you were okay.” Crowley nodded just a little and then looked back up at Aziraphale.

“You...here?” he asked and Aziraphale smiled and nodded his head and reached out and pushed some of Crowley’s hair out of his face.

“I’ll stay, don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere,” He told him and Crowley’s eyes slipped shut for a long moment then popped open again.

“Sorry,” he whispered and Aziraphale shook his head.

“No, no there’s nothing to be sorry for. You rest; I’ll be here when you wake up.” Crowley took a deep breath and nodded his head before his eyes fluttered closed and he fell asleep. Aziraphale walked over and lifted up one of the chairs and carried it over to the bed. He set it down and sat down in it. He couldn’t believe Anthony...No, he went by Crowley now, he’d have to try and remember that. He couldn’t believe he’d found Crowley again, after all these years.

~*~10 years ago~*~

Zira stood at the front door of his best friend’s house and knocked, a small smile on his face. After a few moments of waiting he knocked again. After another few moments the door was wrenched open and Anthony’s mum stood there glaring down at him.

“What do you want?” She asked and Zira was taken back a bit.

“Anthony and I are supposed to study for our history test,” he explained and she just continued to glare at him. This was really weird, Anthony’s mum had never been the warmest women, but she was never cold.

“No, I think you’ve caused enough harm here,” she said looking him up and down with a sneer that Zira didn't understand at all.

“I’m...sorry. I don’t understand. Can I talk to Anthony?” He asked and she shook her head, the glare pinching her face.

“Absolutely not, you stay away from my son you little poof,” she told him before she slammed the door in his face. Zira’s eyes went large as he took a step back. It only took him a moment to race around the side of the house and climb over the fence. He ducked down under the window then walked over to the large tree that was set a few feet away from the house. He swung himself up into the tree and climbed up the branches with practiced ease till he found the large branch that sat just a foot away from Anthony’s bedroom window. He leaned over to tap on the window but he stopped dead as he peered in. The room was empty, the bed had been stripped and a few boxes sat in the corner of the room. All the posters that had lined the walls were gone, Anthony was gone.

A week later Anthony’s whole family packed up and left. No one, not even Aziraphale’s mum, who was a teacher at their school, could figure out where they’d gone. So, at 17 Aziraphale had lost his best friend for reasons he didn't understand. He never let himself get close to anyone like that again.

~*~Present Day~*~

Crowley blinked his eyes open again and looked around the room. His head felt better, but it was slightly floaty, which meant they must be giving him something for the pain. He looked down and found his son still nestled up against his leg fast asleep. He took a deep breath and was pleased to find his throat didn't burn quite as much now. He lifted his head and reached up and gingerly touched the back of his head. Ah, that would be where Sandy slammed his head into the floor then. He looked to his right when he heard light snoring and his eyes went wide at the sight. Zira was curled up in a chair, his head lulled back in a way Crowley just knew was going to hurt his neck. He opened his mouth and tried to speak, but it came out in a short wheeze. He took another deep breath and cleared his throat a bit and tried again.

“Zira,” he finally got out. It was barely above a whisper but the man jerked his head up and winced. He rubbed his neck as he looked at Crowley.

“Oh good you’re awake,” he said his voice soft and concerned. “How are you feeling? Better?” Crowley nodded his head, he felt a bit better at least.

“Time?” He asked just as softly and Aziraphale leaned back and looked at the clock behind the bed.

“It’s 20 after 10am,” he said and Crowley’s eyes went wide. “The nurse has been in a few times. She fused at little Adam being in your bed but I told her to leave him alone.” Crowley’s smile widened at that and he reached out and ran his hand through his son’s hair. Adam shifted a bit but did not wake up. Poor kid had been through a lot and deserved to sleep.

“Thank you” He didn't speak out loud this time, simply mouthed the words at Aziraphale and he smiled in return.

“Of course dear boy, he’s your son and he needs you, just as much, I’d say, as you need him.” Crowley nodded his agreement and Aziraphale’s smile brightened as he remembered something. “Oh! I got something for you, while you can’t speak.” He walked over to a counter by the door and grabbed something and came back with it. He placed a pad of paper and a pen down in front of him and Crowley laughed silently with a large smile. He picked up the pen and flipped the book open and scribbled into it for a few moments and showed it to Aziraphale.

“I see your penmanship has not improved,” Aziraphale teased and Crowley rolled his eyes and held out the note. “Right sorry dear.” He said taking the note.

_Thank you, it’s really good to see you again._

“Dear boy it’s wonderful to see you too,” Aziraphale told him with a fond smile. “No thanks needed, I was glad to help.” Anthony pulled the pad back and scribbled in it again for a few minutes. He held it back out to him and Aziraphale took it.

_How are you here? I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong. But aren’t hospitals pretty strict about releasing medical info to none family?_

“Ah well...” He trailed off and Crowley watched as his face went red. He was just as cute now as he had been 10 years ago, Crowley thought as he watched him. “Adam wouldn’t let me go, once the ambulance showed up. But he didn't want you to go without him, he was crying something awful, I wasn’t sure what to do, soItoldthemIwasyourpartner” he told him in a rush of words as his face reddened even more. Crowley stared at him for a long moment; pretty sure he’d heard him right. He’d told them he was his partner, and he certainly didn't mean in business. He smiled and laughed silently and nodded his head. He wrote something down and handed it to Aziraphale again.

_Ah, well that’s fine._

He handed it to Aziraphale and he relaxed a little after he read it. Aziraphale was about to say something when there was a knock on the door and a nurse came in with a tray in her hands.

“Aw we’re awake, wonderful.” She said smiling at Crowley as she set the tray on a little movable table. “We’re gonna keep you on mostly soft foods for now, because of your throat. So I’ve got you some yogurt and apple sauce with some juice and we have popsicles if you want; nothing really hot, so no tea or hot coffee. Your partner, I’m sorry Hun I didn't catch your name?” She said turning to Aziraphale.

“Aziraphale,” He introduced himself smiling at the nurse. This was a different nurse; the night nurse had been very strict.

“Right, Aziraphale, you’re more than welcome to get him milkshakes and the like but no sneaking in a cheeseburger, you hear me?” She asked looking at him with a mildly stern look on her face.

“Promise,” Aziraphale said nodding his head and she smile. She moved the tray towards him and then noticed Adam asleep by his dad’s legs.

“Oh little doll, how’s he feeling?” She asked looking up at Aziraphale. 

“He seemed much better after he got to see his dad awake very late last night,” Aziraphale told her and she nodded.

“I’m going to sit you up a bit so you can eat okay? We don’t want you getting dehydrated.” She told him and Crowley nodded his head with a small smile. “You tell me if anything hurts.” He nodded his head slowly as she raised the bed. She maneuvered the tray over Crowley enough that he could eat but it wasn’t over Adam. “Call me if you need anything love,” She told him as she pulled the lid off the tray.

“Thank you,” Aziraphale told her and she smiled at him and walked out pulling the door closed behind her. He turned to Crowley who was just staring at the plate. “Come on Crowley, you heard the nurse, you need to eat.” Crowley pulled the pad of paper up onto the tray and wrote something down and handed it to him.

_Aren’t you going to ask me what happened? How I allowed my son to get a black eye and a split lip? Why aren’t you demanding answers of me?_

Aziraphale slid back into his chair as he looked at the words there and took a deep breath. He tucked the pad next to him in the chair and looked at Crowley’s food meaningfully. Crowley rolled his eyes and picked up the spoon and pulled the top off the yogurt and made a show of taking a rather large bite.

“I’ve gathered a bit of what happened, through Adam when we were at my bookshop and from some of his babbling while he cried in the ambulance.” Crowley winced at that and Aziraphale hated the way he’d worded that. “I’m sorry dear boy; he’s fine; he was just scared and overwhelmed.” Aziraphale reached out and touched Crowley’s arm and smiled. “Anything else you can tell me, or not, that’s completely up to you.”

They sat in silence while Crowley ate; he took a few drinks of the room temperature tea and made a face every time. When he was done he pushed the plastic cup out of the way and held his hand out to Aziraphale and wiggled his fingers.

“Oh the pad, sorry, of course,” Aziraphale held it out to him and Crowley snatched it up. He scribbled something quickly and showed Aziraphale.

_I’d kill for a cup of coffee_

“Sorry dear, you heard her, no hot coffee,” Crowley made a face at that and rolled his eyes and went back to writing. He wrote and wrote and wrote. “There’s a coffee shop downstairs though, if you wanted an iced coffee?” He asked with a smile and Crowley looked over at him and smiled then nodded his head.

When Aziraphale got back to Crowley’s room the apple sauce were gone and he was finishing off his tea. He set the coffee on the tray and Crowley looked up at him and smiled brightly and took a drink and sighed. He picked up the pad and handed it over to Aziraphale. He took it and his eyes went wide, the entire page was covered in writing. Aziraphale sat back down next to Crowley’s bed and looked up at Crowley. He was running his hand through his sons’ hair lightly as he sipped his coffee.

“Shall I read it now then?” he asked and Crowley nodded his head once.

_Adam’s mum is...not a nice woman. She was, when we met she was sweet and funny. I can honestly say when we got married I loved her very much. When Adam was a year old I decided to tell her something, something that I’d been keeping buried for a very long time, she didn't take it well._

_I’m Bisexual._

_That’s why I disappeared when we were teens. When I came out to my parents they shipped me off to a conversion camp. It took me nearly 6 months to run away. I came back, to look for you. But your family had moved too._

Here Aziraphale stopped reading and looked up at Crowley. How brave it had been of him, to come out to his parents at such a young age. Aziraphale himself had come out as gay to his parents when he was 19 and they had been nothing but supportive.

“My dad got a job in America,” He said and Crowley looked up from staring at his son. “He’s still there actually, when I was about 22 my mum died in a car crash. Dad remarried about 4 years ago. She’s a very nice women and her son, my step-brother isn’t too bad.” Crowley nodded his head and held out his hand for the pad. Aziraphale handed it back and he flipped to a blank page. He wrote for a few moments then handed it back to him.

_I’m sorry about your mum, she was always so nice._

“Thank you dear,” Aziraphale said with a soft smile. “Shall I go on?” Crowley nodded his head and Aziraphale flipped back to the other page.

 _Once I told Michael, that’s Adam’s mum, she started to change. She became jealous of everyone. Started accusing me of cheating, or wanting to cheat. She started to take it out on Adam, telling me he was a lie, that she’d assumed he was conceived in love, but how could I love her if I was attracted to men too? I tried to tell her that was ridiculous, that one thing didn't have anything to do with the other. But she started to pull away from Adam, little by little. But I wanted to believe she’d get past it, that we could get passed it, so I stayed._ Aziraphale wanted to stop reading, he wanted to gather Crowley and Adam into his arms and never let them go. He wanted to wrap them in a protective layer of love so thick they’d both forget all the negative things ever said or done to them. But he knew Crowley wanted to get this over with, wanted Aziraphale to understand, so he continued reading.

_Adam was four the first time she hit me, I was so shocked by it I just stood there after as she continued to yell. The next day she apologized, told me she was sorry and that maybe we should try couples therapy. I agreed and she found us a therapist. What she failed to mention to me was that it was a religious therapist who wanted us to ‘pray the gay away.’_

_I told her I wouldn’t go back, that I was happy to see a therapist with her, but I wouldn’t go to someone who thought I was broken or wrong. Which was when she told me I_ was _broken. That it was wrong to feel the way I did. Then she told me she loved me and she was going to help me; that she was going to fix me. I should have left then, I know I should have. But I loved her, even after all that, she was Adam’s mum and I loved her. That went on for about a year, us fighting about something, she’d hit me then apologize, blame it on the fact that I was broken._ Aziraphale was not aware of the fact that he’d started crying till the first wet drop splashed down onto the page he was reading. He reached up with his free hand and wiped the tears off his face. He looked up to find that Crowley had fallen asleep, his hand still resting in Adams hair. He took a deep breath and continued reading.

_When Adam was five and a half, just under 6 months ago now, he woke up in the middle of one of our fights. She had accused me of sleeping with an employee of mine, I own a florist shop. She was being ridiculous, because this boy was only just barely 19 and very straight. I told her as much which only seemed to make her more upset. She swung at me but I dodged and she ended up running into the wall. When she turned around she was furious. She charged at me so fast I didn't have time to react._

_Once we were both down she started hitting me, screaming at me, which I’m sure is what woke Adam. He ran out and tried to get her off, but she slapped him and he fell back. She split his lip. I hadn’t done anything to stop her before because, my therapist has helped me see, some part of me believed I deserved it. But as soon as she hurt Adam I was done. I pushed her off and ran over to Adam, he was sobbing on the floor. I packed us both a bag and headed straight to the A &E. They called the police and I filled charges against her as well as called a lawyer to file for divorce._

The writing stopped there and Aziraphale looked up when he saw movement on the bed. Adam yawned and sat up in the bed; he blinked tired eyes at Aziraphale and then smiled a little. Aziraphale smiled back and then Adam’s stomach rumbled.

“Hungry?” Aziraphale asked in a hushed voice and Adam nodded his head.

“Shall we let your daddy sleep and go get something to eat?” He asked and Adam looked concerned at his dad and bit his lip. Aziraphale was sure he didn't really want to leave his dad here alone. “What if we asked his very nice nurse to sit in here with him for a few minutes while we go down to the café and get you a hot cocoa and a muffin?”

“Okay,” Adam said in a small voice and Adam sat all the way up and reached out from Aziraphale. He hefted him up and went to set him back down but it was apparent that Adam had no plans on walking. Aziraphale huffed good naturedly and smiled at him.

“I’ll carry you down, but you’ll have to walk back, because I’ll have our cocoas, deal?” He asked and Adam smiled and nodded his head swiftly. Aziraphale was not accustomed to carrying small children around on his hip, but he did regularly carry around huge boxes of very heavy books, so there was no real strain on his arms. And the weight of Adam in his arms felt right somehow, more so them he would have imagined.

“My dear,” Aziraphale said stepping over to the nurse’s desk. The same nurse who’d dropped off Crowley’s breakfast was there and she smiled at them. “Little man is hungry, so we’re going to walk down to the little café downstairs. Anthony has fallen asleep though and I don’t want him to wake alone with Adam gone.”

“Oh, no problem,” she said with a soft smile at Adam as she stood. “I can sit with him till you get back.”

“Thank you dear girl, do you need anything while we are down there?” He asked and she looked at him fondly, it was rare for a family member to offer something like that.

“We’re getting cocoa!” Adam said brightly and she chuckled at his enthusiasm. It was amazing how quickly young ones could bounce back from trauma.

“A coffee perhaps?” Aziraphale asked and she smiled, she really should tell him no, they have a coffee maker in their break room, but she could tell he was dying to be of use to someone, and the coffee at the café was much better.

“I’d love that thanks, two sugars and cream, thank you,” She said and Aziraphale nodded happily as she headed into Crowley’s room.

“Well you heard her young Crowley, we have coffee and cocoa to get,” Aziraphale said smiling at Adam and Adam nodded his head with a huge smile on his face.

~*~Two~*~

Crowley woke up with a sigh, his bruised ribs were making themselves known now and he winced. He heard a noise as he woke and his eyes popped open. Adam was no longer on his bed with him. He looked around and saw a nurse sitting in the chair near the wall. She stood and walked over as soon as his eyes opened. She could see the panic as it filled his eyes.

“He’s with your partner, with Aziraphale, they went to get Adam something to eat at the cafe.” She could see the worry drain from his eyes before he nodded slowly.

“On a scale from 1 to 10 how is your pain?” She asked as she looked him over. He held up his hand with three fingers up and she nodded. “You let me know if it gets worse and I’ll get you something for it, yeah?” She asked and he nodded his head. In reality the pain was probably about a 6 but he didn't want to take any more pain meds then he had to, he needed to be able to look after his son.

“Oh Crowley you're awake,” Aziraphale said with a bright smile as he and Adam walked in. Adam was carrying a brown bakery bag and a small cup.

“Daddy we got you a smoothie!” Adam told him and Aziraphale pulled it from the drink carrier he was holding.

“Adam assures me you like strawberry and banana,” Aziraphale said as he sat it down in front of Crowley who nodded his head. Aziraphale handed the nurse her coffee and she thanked him before she left. Aziraphale looked over and Crowley looked like he was looking for something.

“What do you need?” Aziraphale asked and he looked up at him.

“Pad,” he said softly and Aziraphale nodded his head and walked over and grabbed it from his chair by the bed and handed it over. Crowley smiled and took it and started writing something. Aziraphale helped Adam climb up next to his father again and then he opened the bag and pulled out his muffin. Crowley handed the pad to Adam and Adam took it with a smile.

“Do you need any help?” Aziraphale asked and Adam shook his head.

“Daddy taught me to read already,” he said proudly as he looked back down at the pad. “I’m okay daddy,” he said setting the pad down and Aziraphale could see Crowley had written ‘ _How you doing kiddo?’_ Crowley reached out and brushed his thumb under Adam’s lip, just under the bandage and Aziraphale could see tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Crowley whispered and Adam took a shuttered breath and leaned in and wrapped his arms around his dad’s shoulders. Aziraphale noticed he was very careful of Crowley’s ribs.

“I’m okay daddy,” Adam told him his voice muffled in his dads shoulder. Crowley bit his lip and Aziraphale could see he was fighting back tears.

“AJ!” They all looked up at a women’s voice. “No you do not understand... no I’m not related,” Aziraphale looked over at Crowley whose face had just lit up in a smile. He nodded his head and picked up the paper and wrote something quickly.

_Tell them to let her in!_

He showed Aziraphale and Aziraphale chuckled as he walked out of the room to see the back of a tall women arguing with the nurse. She had long dark hair and a long dark skirt on and Aziraphale was struck dumb for just a moment.

“Anathema?” He said and she whipped around at the sound of her name.

“Aziraphale, what are you doing here?” She asked looking from him to Crowley’s room and back. “Do _you_ know AJ?”

“AJ?” He asked and she rolled her eyes and huffed. “Crowley then, how do you know Crowley?”

“How do _you_ know Crowley?!” he asked and then his eyes went wide with understanding. “Oh my! You work for him!” He cried as he remembered Crowley owned a florist shop. Anathema had been a friend for a very long time now; they had met about 4 years ago, when she wondered into his bookshop. She’d been telling him about her boss, AJ for the past two years. Aziraphale turned to the nurse and smiled.

“Crowley would like her to come in,” he told her and she looked between the two of them then nodded her head. “Come on,” He said and she followed him into the hospital room.

“Aunt Ana!” Adam said from the bed. Anathema swept over and pulled him from the bed and he snuggled into her neck.

“How are you?” She asked looking over Adam’s head to Crowley. He picked up a pad of paper and wrote something down. She looked from him to Aziraphale with a questioning look in her eyes.

“He has a bruised larynx; he’s not supposed to talk for the next few days.” Aziraphale explained and she nodded her head. She was still unclear how they knew each other. Crowley held out the pad and Anathema reached out and took it and read it over and nodded her head. She looked up at Aziraphale again her eyes wide then she went back to reading for a few moments.

“Well, hell, small world huh?” She said looking at Crowley with a smile and he nodded his head. She watched as his eyes slid over to Aziraphale and she wasn’t surprised by the affection there. He’d been telling her about Zira for as long as she’d known him. About how much he missed his best friend, about how long he looked for him. Anathema could infer from his ramblings that he’d been in love with Zira and watching him now she imagined it wouldn’t take much for him to be in love with him again. She’d always thought Aziraphale would be great for Crowley; in fact she’d been planning on introducing them, after Crowley had a bit of time to get past his divorce.

She looked down at the paper in her hands again and smiled as she hugged Adam a little closer. The last thing he’d written on the page made her smile as she watched Crowley watch Aziraphale.

_I found him!_


	2. Memory Lane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things don't go quite to plan when Crowley is released from the hospital.

The next morning Aziraphale was sitting on a bus heading to his flat over his bookshop. It was not a long commute, but he still missed his car. He was happy he could drive it back to the hospital when he returned. The three adults had spent most of the previous day playing silly games with Adam and talking, or writing in Crowley's case, about nothing and everything. Small moments in life and bigger ones. Zira told them about finally buying his bookshop and Crowley told them both what it was like to hold Adam for the first time. Anathema took her leave just before dinner with a promise that she'd come back the next afternoon. He was grateful that Anathema had agreed to stay with with Crowley and Adam while he ran home to shower and pick up a few things. Crowley had tried to tell him he didn't need to come back, that they were okay now but Aziraphale was hearing none of it. Crowley’d handed him the pad with a forced smile. Aziraphale may not have seen his face for 10 years, but he knew every way it smiled, he knew how it lit up after a snarky comment from him, he remembered the way he’d force a laugh after one of his dad’s ridiculous jokes, so he knew a forced smile when he saw it.

_You should stay home; you have a business and a life to get back to Zira. I appreciate everything you’ve done, really. But you don’t have to sit here with us in the hospital. We’ll get together again, when I’m out, yeah?_

Aziraphale looked down at the words and back up at Crowley. He looked over where Anathema was playing with Adam and took a deep breath. He could agree, take his leave and wait for Crowley to call him when he was well. But he didn't want to. Now that he’d found Crowley again he didn't want to leave his side, he wanted to be there for him and his son. But maybe...maybe Crowley didn't want him here; it had been ten years after all.

“Crowley, you are my best friend, 10 years be damned; I have never stopped thinking of you as such. I want to stay. I want to be there for you and Adam. I wanna help in any way I can. But...” He trailed off and Crowley’s eyes snapped up to his as he waited for him to go on. “But if you want me to go I will. I understand if things have changed for you and-

He stopped talking as Crowley held up his hand, palm up with a frown on his face. He picked up the pad of paper and wrote furiously for a few moments then handed it to him. Aziraphale chuckled lightly at the first line.

_Shut up! Of course you’re still my best friend. I never stopped looking for you, and you were practically down the road from me this whole time. Go take a shower, get some clothing and then come back. Please._

“Okay, dear,” Aziraphale said with a huge smile on his face. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He reached out and took Crowley’s hand in his and squeezed it.

~*~One~*~

Crowley watched as Adam played with Anathema. She’d pulled a deck of cards from her huge bag and was currently looking for ‘threes’ in their game of Go Fish. Adam’s face looked like it was healing well, but every time his saw his son’s bruised eye something twisted in his gut painfully. He hated that he’d been unable to protect Adam for a second time. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a long deep breath and let it out slowly. His mind wandered, as it inevitably did when he had a quiet moment to himself, to Zira. Though he no longer needed to wonder what he might look like now. He didn't need to wonder if his smile still lit up a room, or if he still wore those ridiculous bow-ties, which Crowley had always teased him about but secretly adored on him.

He had changed a bit, but he was still just as he remembered him, still just as beautiful as he remembered. He felt a small twinge in his heart that he never got to tell Zira how he felt about him, all those years ago. He’d looked, for some time and in some less then savory ways, for his best friend. He’d never even thought to look in America. He wondered how long Zira had been in a bookshop only minutes from his flower shop. How had they not run into each other before now? He wondered again, why Adam had picked that shop to duck into when he ran from their flat above his shop. Crowley had only found him that day because of an older women had been standing outside a shop when he ran by calling for his son.

_“Sir!” She called after him as he ran by. He stopped and turned to look at her. Her eyes went wide at the state of him. “Are you looking for a little brown haired boy?” She asked and his eyes went large and he nodded, thinking nothing of the fact that he couldn’t get his voice to work at the moment._

_“He ran into A.Z.’s bookshop, just there, just a minute ago,” She said pointing across the street and he didn't wait for her to say anything else before he was darting across the street._

He’d been in such a state of panic, he was probably lucky he didn't get hit by a car. He’d have to ask Zira if he knew her, perhaps he could get her flowers, as a thank you. He could hear Adam giggle at something Anathema had said and it lightened his heart, to know his son was recovering. He wondered if Anathema would go get him some clothing from his flat. Maybe he should have asked Zira if he wouldn’t mind, well, too late now. He wondered idly how long Zira would be gone. Zira had been so insistent that he stay, it had warmed something in Crowley he thought long since lost. They’d been friends for only 4 short years, but it had hardly taken a day for Crowley to know he wanted to know Zira better. He still remembered the first time he saw Zira, it had been the summer before year nine and he’d been new to the neighborhood.

~*~Fifteen Years ago~*~

Anthony raced down the small hill, the wind sweeping through his hair. He hollered out triumphantly when he passed their made up finish line first. He flicked out his back wheel and put his feet down so he made a wide arch and came to a stop. Two more bikes came to a stop next to him and the two other boys were laughing.

“Nice Tony!” One boy, a scraggly blond boy named Sam said smacking him on the back with a smile.

“Think you may have broken your record,” The other boy, Cameron, a tall boy with dark skin and hair told him with a smile.

“Hey, looks like someone’s finally moving into Mr. Jackson’s house,” Sam said and Tony looked around and saw the moving van sitting in front of what used to be Mr. Jackson’s house.

“Wonder if they have any kids?” Tony mussed and then Cameron chuckled and pointed.

“Looks like,” Cameron said and the other two looked where he was pointing. There was a boy about their age sitting under a tree in the front yard. He had a book on his lap and thin silver framed glasses perched on his nose. He had white blond hair that curled around his ears, he was cute. Tony shook his head at the thought and looked over at his friends.

“Nerd,” Sam said with a chuckle and Tony rolled his eyes, before he reached over and punched Sam lightly in the arm.

“Don’t be a prat,” Tony told him as he climbed off his bike and laid it down on the sidewalk across the street from the house. Sam rubbed his arm and they watched as Tony walked towards the house, running his hands through his wind swept hair before he approached the boy under the tree.

“Hi,” Tony said and the boy jerked and his head shot up. He looked a bit startled and Tony shifted from foot to foot. Wow, he had really blue eyes, like _really_ blue. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said with a smile, the boy just looked at him, a small frown on his face. Well, that was different, people always smiled when he smiled, ‘naturally charismatic’ his dad called him.

“Okay,” he said drawing the word out a little. It took Tony a moment to realize he was staring at his eyes, he was mostly used to that; his eyes were a bit...different. But he found most people thought they were intriguing. The boy finally shook his head just a little as a blush rose up his cheeks and he looked away.

“I’m Tony, well, I’m Anthony Jay Angelis, but my friends call me Tony,” He introduced himself and the boy, still sitting in the grass looked up at him with an odd look on his face, his head tilted to the side.

“I’m Aziraphale,” He said finally his eyes flicking to the two boys still standing in the street watching him and Tony. Finally Tony figured out it was fear, or at least unease written across his face, like he was waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop. He was waiting to be attacked by Tony, his shoulders hunched up and his eyes down cast.

“Wow, _Aziraphale_ , that’s a mouthful,” Tony said lightly, making it clear he was not poking fun at the name, just its length. A small smile flittered onto Aziraphale’s face and Crowley cheered inwardly. “Is that what your friends call you?” He asked and Aziraphale’s smile fell and he looked back down at his book. “Aziraphale?” Tony asked, he could see he’d upset him, but he really wasn’t sure why.

“I wouldn’t know,” Aziraphale finally ground out in a quiet voice without looking up at Crowley. “Look I was reading so if you're done investigating the new nerd-

“Zira,” Tony said cutting Aziraphale off and he looked back up from his book. He was looking at him shrewdly now; his eyes narrowed just a little.

“Excuse me?” Aziraphale said searching his face for something. Tony got the feeling that people didn't really just talk to Aziraphale. He’d even referred to himself as a nerd, which sure he had the glasses and the book, but that didn't automatically mean he wasn’t worth getting to know.

“That’s what I’m going to call you, if that’s okay?” Tony asked as he plopped down in the grass next to him. Aziraphale still had a slightly confused look on his face but he nodded.

“That sounds... okay,” Aziraphale said slowly. Tony smiled and nodded his head as he turned to his other two friends.

“Guys, come meet Zira, he just moved here,” Tony called over his shoulder. His other two friends put down their bikes and walked over slowly. “So, what are you reading Zira?” Tony asked and Aziraphale looked down at the book in his hands. The other two sank into the grass on either side of Tony.

“It’s a book on Greek gods and goddesses.” He told him finally holding up the book. There was a picture of Zeus on the cover, holding up a lightning bolt with a sneer on his face.

“I did a report on Zeus last year,” One of the other boys said with a nod. “He throws lightning bolts at people, that’s so awesome.”

“Zira, this is Cameron,” Tony said pointing at the boy who’d spoken. Cameron smiled a little and Zira nodded at him. “And this is Sam.” He said gesturing to the other boy. 

“It’s nice to meet you both,” Aziraphale said, though Tony could tell he was still warry of them all. Well, he’d get him over that quickly, he’d see to that. “Did you...did you know Zeus also had the ability to shape shift?” Aziraphale asked a little hesitantly, and Tony smiled a little when the other two boys started asking more questions about the ancient Greek god.

~*~Present~*~

“Good news Mr. Crowley!” A voice pierced through his memories and he opened his eyes as his doctor came walking in with a smile on her face. He nodded his head and smiled a little and she went on.

“Looks like we’re going to be able to get you out of here today,” she said and his eyes went wide. He’d expected to be here for at least another day. “They’ll have a prescription for the pain meds when you check out. Now, it would be a good idea to have someone else at home with you, just for a day or two, just in case.” Her eyes went over to Anathema then back to Crowley. “We do in home nurses if you need-

“That won’t be necessary,” A voice said from behind her cutting her off and Crowley’s heart skipped a beat. “I’ll stay with him, as long as he needs.” Aziraphale said as he stepped into the room a small overnight bag in his hand. “If that’s okay with him?” Aziraphale asked looking over at Crowley. He smiled and nodded his head and Adam jumped down from his seat and ran over to Aziraphale.

“Awesome! Sleepover!” He cried jumping up and Aziraphale caught him mid jump and pulled him up onto his hip. Tears sprang to Crowley’s eyes as he watched Aziraphale laugh and tickle his son’s side while he nodded his head.

“Yes, perhaps we can play charades; at least now your dad can’t cheat yes?” Aziraphale teased before he looked up to meet Crowley’s eyes and share in the inside joke (Crowley was a terrible cheat at charades). The smile on his face slipped away though and he carried Adam over to the bed. “Dear boy, are you okay? Are you in pain?” Crowley shook his head lightly and took a deep breath.

“Th...thankful,” He managed to say, his voice sounded a bit better and Aziraphale’s smile lit up his face.

“Well good, I’ll have the nurse around in about half an hour to give you any care instructions. We should have your discharge papers ready in about an hour.” The doctor told them before she slipped back out of the room.

~*~Two~*~

“Crowley, how do I get this damn map thing to work?” Aziraphale asked walking over to Crowley’s bed with his mobile. He’d asked Crowley for his address so he could put it into a mapping app, so Crowley wouldn’t have to tell him how to get there. But he couldn’t for the life of him figure the damned thing out. Crowley wiggled his fingers in a ‘give it here’ motion and Aziraphale handed over the mobile. Crowley worked for just a few moments and then held it back out to him with a smile and a roll of his eyes. Aziraphale sighed and nodded his head as he took the mobile back.

“Yes I know, I am just as hopeless now as I was then,” he told him and Crowley chuckled lightly as he nodded his head.

“Hello boys,” The nurse said as she walked into the room with a smile. Anathema and Adam were down in the shop getting a treat while Crowley got the last once over to make sure everything was set for his discharge. “Dr. Milton wants me to be sure Mr. Crowley here can stand and move under his own power. Make sure there’s no lingering lightheadedness.” She stepped over to the bed and lowed one of the side rails. “Now you’re going to need to take it really easy, no heavy lifting, which includes the munchkin for at least 2 weeks, okay?” She asked giving Crowley a very serious look and he sighed but nodded his head. “Now Doc has a pain prescription for you, get it filled and take one when you need to okay? You’ve got a great partner here to look after things, so don’t be a hero.” She told Crowley then gave Aziraphale a look and he nodded too.

“How long should he stay off his feet?” Aziraphale asked as she pulled Crowley’s blankets back. They’d already removed his IV and heart monitor, which he was thankful for, he hated needles.

“At least two or three days, then he should be fine to move around a bit. But don’t push yourself,” Again she sent a strict look Crowley’s way and he made innocent eyes at her and put his hand on his chest in a very ‘who me?’ gesture that made the nurse giggle a little. “Yeah, I know your type. You just let your partner here help you, you hear?” Crowley nodded again and she smiled at him. “Okay, slowly swing your legs over the bed.” She told him and he did, with a twinge of pain. He put his feet down on the floor, the hospital slippers kept his feet nice and warm even on the cold tile. “Now do you have something to change into?” She asked looking up at Aziraphale and his eyes went wide.

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale said fluttering his hands around a bit. “I didn't think...I thought he’d be here longer. I don’t-

“It’s okay love, we have sweats and a sweater he can wear home.” She said with an easy smile and Crowley pulled a face at the thought of sweats and Aziraphale chuckled.

“Your sense of style will survive Crowley,” he told him and Crowley stuck his tongue out at him and Aziraphale sighed. “Are we channeling your 6 year old now?” He chided though he was smiling and Crowley wiggled his eyebrows at him. He pushed himself to his feet and let out a hiss of pain, oh everything hurt. But, his head was clear, no dizziness or pain.

“No dizziness?” The nurse asked and he shook his head and she smiled. “Wonderful.” She said and he took a few tentative steps towards Aziraphale.

“That’s wonderful dear, I’m so happy to see you up and about.” Aziraphale said as Crowley moved towards him. His face was scrunched up a bit and Aziraphale could tell he was in a fair amount of pain. But as soon as he was close enough he started to lift his arms and Aziraphale understood. He raised his arms and let Crowley lean into him for a hug, being careful to keep his arms around his shoulders, so he didn't hurt his ribs.

“Daddy! You’re up!” Adam’s voice called in excitement as he ran into the room and draped himself on Crowley’s leg. Crowley lowered one of his arms so he was grasping Adam’s shoulder too and Aziraphale felt a shuttered sigh pass through him. Aziraphale smiled into Crowley’s shoulder as they all stood there hugging, he’d never felt more at home then he did right this second.

~*~Three~*~

_How will we get back to my flat? Bus?_

Aziraphale read the note Crowley had just handed him as they sat around the hospital waiting for the discharge papers. It had been almost two hours and they were still waiting. Anathema had taken her leave, after many assurances from Aziraphale that he’d call her when they got home, and again if they needed _anything._ He smiled and handed the pad back to Crowley.

“We’ll take my car, you’re in no condition to be taking a bus,” Aziraphale told him and his eyes went wide in surprise. “Yes I know, I said I’d never own one, but when one needs to get all over London and beyond for book auctions one does what one must.” He told him and Crowley chuckled at him. He looked like a troubling thought just accrued to him and wrote something down again then turned the pad around to show him.

_What about Adam? His booster seat is in my car._

Aziraphale read the paper and Crowley watched as a blush spread up from his neck until it covered both his cheeks. It was quite possible that Zira had only gotten better looking with age.

“I got one, on my way back this afternoon,” he said then bit his bottom lip and looked up at Crowley. “I hope that’s okay, I wouldn’t want to over step but-

Crowley held up his hand, palm up, in a gesture Aziraphale knew now meant ‘shut up.’ And he stopped talking as Crowley wrote something down before thrusting the pad at him.

_As if I’d be mad at you for looking out for Adam? Thank you._

Aziraphale nodded his head before he looked over at Adam, who was reading something on his dads mobile.

“He looks so much like you,” Aziraphale said looking back at Crowley after a moment. Crowley reached out and touched his hair with a sigh and Aziraphale laughed. “No, he didn't get your hair, more the pity.” Aziraphale said and Crowley wiggled his eyebrows again. “Please, you know you have gorgeous hair.” Aziraphale told him and now he was blushing and biting his lower lip.

“Thanks,” He whispered and Aziraphale was happy to hear his voice was sounding better.

“Okay!” Crowley’s nurse came in pushing a wheelchair in front of her and Crowley groaned at the sight of it.

“Don’t be like that dear,” Aziraphale said giving him a look and Crowley rolled his eyes and shook his head as he stood slowly.

“I think you have your work cut out for you sugar,” The nurse said smiling at Aziraphale and he laughed.

“Don’t I know it,” he agreed and Crowley held his hands up and looked annoyed.

“Daddy says he’s worse than me when he’s sick,” Adam added helpfully and Crowley looked over at him and pointed from him to Aziraphale with a mock look of betrayal and Aziraphale smiled.

“Come on now dear,” Aziraphale said as Crowley started over to the wheelchair slowly. He eased into it and sighed out, but didn't hiss in pain again.

“Would you like a blanket?” Aziraphale asked with a barely contained chuckle and Crowley looked up at him and mouthed two rather offending words and Aziraphale reached up to clutch at his nonexistent pearls in mock outrage.

“Such language dear boy,” He scolded and Crowley rolled his eyes and then Aziraphale was laughing as was the nurse behind him.

“Doc went ahead and had the prescription filled for you, so you don’t need to go by the pharmacy.” She said holding out a small paper bag. “These need to be taken with food, there are instructions inside.”

“Oh I’ll be sure he eats,” Aziraphale said nodding his head and Crowley groaned. “Come along Adam.” He said and Adam handed his dad back his mobile with a smile before he leaned over the armrest and kissed him on the check.

“I’m glad you're getting better daddy,” he said and Crowley reached up and ruffled his hair with a smile and a wink.

~*~Four~*~

The drive wasn’t quiet; Adam kept up a running commentary on everything they passed. He never asked questions, just pointed things out to Aziraphale as he drove. ‘And that’s the park we play in, next time you’ll come with us.’ It seemed it was a forgone conclusion of his that now Aziraphale was just part of their group. Aziraphale hummed and nodded his head as Adam talked. He kept looked at Crowley out of the corner of his eye as they drove. When they left he’d seemed fine, a huge smile on his face as Aziraphale helped him into his car. But it seemed the closer they got to their destination the tenser her was getting. His shoulders were practically in his ear by the time they parked in front of Edens Apple Blossom, Crowley’s flower shop.

“Crowley, dear are you okay?” he asked and Crowley took a deep breath and nodded his head as he stared straight out the windshield. After a few seconds he jerked his head towards the door then opened it. Aziraphale hurried out of the car and around to Crowley’s side so he could help him out. Adam was already opening the back door of the car and climbing out onto the sidewalk.

Crowley could feel a tightness in his chest that had nothing to do with the bruised ribs. Everything in him was screaming at him to get back in the car. There was no piece of him that wanted to walk into his shop, or go up the steps to his flat. But he was determined to do this. He would not lose it here on the street in front of Zira and his son. He looked over at Adam and forced a smile onto his face.

“Key,” he said his voice still hoarse and Adam nodded his head and Aziraphale watched as Adam headed over to a huge flowerpot in front of the shop. He ran his hands along the back of the pot and then smiled.

“Found it daddy!” he said running over with a small black box. Aziraphale watched as Adam laid his thumb on the top of the box and there was a small ‘pop’ and Adam pulled the lid off and pulled out a key.

“Clever,” Aziraphale told him with a bright smile. “Let’s go up shall we? You’re dad needs dinner and then he needs to take a pain pill.”

Crowley was happy that Zira was blaming his paleness on pain and not the building panic in his chest. He was vaguely aware of Zira taking his arm as he unlocked the door to the shop. He felt himself being led inside and his heart rate spiked. Oh god, he didn't want to be here. He didn't want to think about lying on the floor upstairs where Sandy had his large hand wrapped around his throat. He could smell the roses blossoming and the fresh fertilizer, some far off place in his mind understood that meant Anathema had been here in the last 24 hours to care for things. But mostly all he could feel was his heart beating a mile a minute in his chest, he was getting light headed.

Were they going up stars now? Had to be, Zira was helping him, telling him to lift his feet, was he? Yes he seemed to be following Zira’s directions. Memories were flashing through his mind now, screaming at Adam to run after Sandy back handed him to the floor as he tried to pull him off his dad. One foot in front of the other. Michael screaming at him that she wasn’t letting him take her son, the son he knew she didn't even want. Was it getting darker in the stairwell? When had it gotten so hot? Why couldn’t he breathe? There was something wrapped around his throat, he couldn’t breathe. He heard yelling, were they memories? He saw as Adam ran from the flat, straight out the door then there was a stabbing pain in his chest. Oh god was Sandy back? He felt someone squeeze his arm lightly and he jerked back and more pain flashing through his chest. He was pretty sure someone was saying his name. Zira? Was it Zira? Yes, it was Zira, Zira was with him, not Sandy, not Michael. Why was he on the floor?

“Crowley,” he felt a hand on his chest, and then he felt something under his own hand. He could feel something under his hand moving, steadily, up and down, up and down. “Crowley can you look at me?” Could he? He could look at Zira right, Zira was amazing. “Anthony, please.” He felt his eyes open slowly and could feel the short jerky breaths he was taking now. “There you are,” There was deep relief in Zira’s voice as he met Zira’s eyes. “I need you to breathe with me Crowley, can you do that?” He tried to nod, did he? Zira was smiling, yes he’d nodded. “Deep breathe in...long breathe out, there you go.” Zira was nodding his head and the fog in Crowley’s mind was clearing bit by bit as he matched his breathing to Zira’s.

Once he was breathing steadily he looked around a little. They were just inside the door of his flat. He was sitting against the wall by the front door and Zira was kneeling in front of him, his hand still placed over Crowley’s chest. He looked up at Zira and was shocked by the tears in his eyes, why was he crying?

“There we are,” He said as he reached out and pushed some of Crowley’s hair out of his face.

“Adam?” He asked, his voice cracking and Zira nodded his head.

“He’s in his room. I could see you were unwell so I sent him to pack himself a bag.” Crowley nodded his head and took another deep breath and let it out slowly as Zira’s words registered.

“Bag?” he asked and Zira nodded his head.

“You’re in no state to stay here, not after...” He trailed off and Crowley could see he was openly crying now, not blubbering, but there were tears trailing down his cheeks. “You can come stay with me. I have an extra room, you’ll heal better there.”

“I...” Crowley trailed off before he reached up and wiped away the tears on Zira’s cheeks.

“Please Crowley; please don’t ask me leave you here.” His voice hitched and his pursed his lips hard and Crowley nodded his head. “Thank you.” He raised his free hand and pushed his glasses up to wipe at his eyes. They sat there for just a few moments, each with a palm pressed to the others chest. Finally Zira pulled himself up off the floor and Crowley moved to stand. “No, you’ll hurt yourself like that, scoot forwards a little.” He said and Crowley nodded his head and pushed himself away from the wall. Zira stepped behind him and knelt down again, this time he hooked his arms under Crowley’s armpits. “On three okay?” Crowley nodded his head, getting his feet situated under himself. “One...two...three,” he said and Crowley pushed against him as Zira pulled and with a hiss of pain he was on his feet again.

Aziraphale dropped his arms and Crowley turned slowly. This time Zira moved forward and pulled him into a hug. Crowley wrapped his arms around Zira, pulling him close.

~*~Five~*~

It took next to no time to throw some clothing into a bag for Crowley and to finish packing Adam. Poor kid thought he’d be fine with a bag full of toys; though they brought the toys too, seeing as Aziraphale didn't have anything in the way of children’s toys. It was only just after 7pm when they finally made it to Aziraphale’s bookshop. But by the time they got upstairs and had a light dinner both Adam and Crowley were exhausted. Crowley had assured Aziraphale he’d be fine sleeping in the large queen size bed in the spare room along with Adam. Aziraphale had tried to talk him into taking his bed, while he slept on the couch, but Crowley was hearing none of it.

Aziraphale pushed the spare room door open slowly and peeked his head in and smiled. Crowley was on his back, one arm resting on his stomach while the other was wrapped around Adam who was curled into his side. They were both sleeping peacefully; one of them was snoring lightly, though Aziraphale couldn’t really tell which of them it was. He pulled the door mostly closed. He walked to the bathroom just down the hall and flipped on the light and pushed the door open, just in case one of them needed to find it in the middle of the night.

He walked over to his bookshelves to find a book to read for a bit when his eyes landed on the spine of an old book. He pulled it off the shelf and chuckled lightly as he ran his fingers over the image of Zeus, lightning bolt in hand. He walked back over to his chair which already had a steaming cup of tea sitting next to it and opened the book. He’d never forget the first time he met Crowley, though back then he was Tony. He’d have to asked later where the name ‘Crowley’ came from.

~*~Fifteen years ago~*~

“Why don’t you go down the street and meet some of the kids on the block?” His mum asked as she unpacked a box in their new kitchen. Aziraphale barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Kids his age didn't take too kindly to him, he was too stuffy, too posh, too nerdy to be worthy of their time. He couldn’t help it if he liked to read, or if he liked his clothing a certain way, and he was certainly too plush around the middle as far as most kids were concerned. He hadn’t had any real friends at his last school and he was sure it was going to be the same here.

“Maybe later,” he told her to placate her as he headed out the front door. He knew his mum was just trying to look out for him, encourage him to make friends, but Aziraphale knew that was a lost cause, at least for now. Maybe at Uni, when it wasn’t so frowned upon to enjoy studying, maybe then he could make some friends. He walked over to the tree in front of his house and sat down, crossing his legs in front of himself. He opened his book and blocked out the rest of the world.

“Hi,” a voice above him said startling him from his reading. He looked up at the boy standing in his yard. His hair, a red not unlike glowing embers was long on the top and shorter on the side. “Didn't mean to scare you.” He told him with a wide smile and Aziraphale frowned. Smiles like that always came before the verbal bashing.

“Okay,” he replied, drawing the word out a little. Then the boy shifted just a little on his feet and Aziraphale caught sight of his eyes. They were the most unique golden yellow color he’d ever seen, they were beautiful. Aziraphale realized after a moment he was staring and shook his head, though he could feel the blush creeping up his neck to his cheeks.

“I’m Tony, well, I’m Anthony Jay Angelis, but my friends call me Tony,” He introduced himself and Aziraphale was wondered what he wanted? Help with summer homework maybe?

“I’m Aziraphale,” he finally said before he caught a glimpse of the two other boys on the bikes in the street behind Tony, great, there were three of them. Well at least if they started in on him he could just go inside.

“Wow, Aziraphale, that’s a mouthful,” Tony said and Aziraphale tried to hold back the wince as he waited for the mocking to start. But it didn't, was he just teasing, his voice sounded playful, like he wasn’t laughing at Aziraphale, but joking with him. Aziraphale smiled just a little and nodded his head. “Is that what your friends call you?” he asked and Aziraphale’s smile fell and he looked back down at his book, there it was, now he was going to mock him for being new, having no friends. “Aziraphale?” He asked and his voice actually sounded...concerned? No, that couldn’t be right.

“I wouldn’t know,” He finally spit out without looking up at Tony. “Look, I was reading so if you're quite done investigating the new nerd-

“Zira!” Tony said his voice light and excited and Aziraphale looked back up at him with a suspicious eye.

“Excuse me?” he asked unsure where the outburst had come from or what it meant. Tony seemed to be watching him closely for a few moments, his smile still there, but softer now, more genuine.

“That’s what I’m going to call you... if that’s okay?” He asked and Aziraphale jerked back just a little as Tony plopped down into the grass next to him. A nickname, had he really just given him a nickname? Why would he do that?

“That sounds...okay,” Aziraphale said, though it sounded a bit like a question. Tony smiled; his whole face went bright with excitement. He turned towards the other two boys and something clenched in Aziraphale’s stomach.

“Guys, come meet Zira, he just moved here,” Tony said calling his friends over. The boys came over and soon they were all discussing the wondrous things that Zeus could do, which led into a discussion about all the Greek gods. They all sat there under that tree for hours, until the sun set and Aziraphale’s mum called him in for dinner. Tony promised to come back the next day, and he did.

~*~Present~*~

Aziraphale closed the book with a small smile on his face. His tea was empty and it was well after 11pm. He should get to bed so he could get up and get breakfast for his little motley crew. He’d never had guests like this over before and he wanted to treat them, they deserved it. He pulled his mobile out and set and alarm and then headed to his room, leaving the door open a bit, just in case they needed him in the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I hope you enjoyed this! Unfortunately it's going to be a week or two before I can update anything because we are moving. I'm super excited that i got this finished before we have to pack up the computer! I love hearing from you so drop a comment or Kudos! Thanks guys and I'll be back soon!


	3. What the Night Brings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley's first night at Zira's is not an easy one. Zira will do anything he can to help Crowley and Adam heal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get out! Moving sucks guys! Love out new house, but packing and unpacking and setting everything up takes FOREVER! But, I've already started on chapter four so hopefully it wont be nearly as long till that one comes out.

Aziraphale shifted from his side to his back as awareness slowly brought him awake. His eyes fluttered open and he yawned as he stared at his ceiling. It was still pitch black in his room, which meant it was still the middle of the night. He wasn’t sure what woke him so he pulled himself up just a little, resting on his elbows. When he shifted to the side to check the time on his mobile he came face to face with Adam, he was shifting from foot to foot. He reached out and flicked on the soft lamp on his bedside table. Adam was in his little footie jimjams and holding what looked like a stuffed dog. After a moment Aziraphale realized there were tears in his eyes and trailing down his cheeks.

“Dear, what’s the matter?” he asked, his voice groggy with sleep and Adam’s bright golden eyes blinked and his lower lip wobbled, like he was trying not to cry more.

“Daddy is having a bad dream,” he whispered as he squeezed his stuffed dog closer to his chest. Adam looked quite shaken as he stood there staring at him. Aziraphale cursed himself silently for not thinking that something like this might happen, especially after what had happened at their flat the evening before.

“Are you okay?” He asked looking Adam over, thankfully he looked fine. He nodded his head and his little stuffed dog flopped around with the motion. “Well let’s go make sure he’s okay then,” Aziraphale told him as he pushed his blankets back and slid out of bed. He looked down when Adam slipped his hand into his and nodded his head. They walked out the door and Aziraphale could hear Crowley in the next room, he was calling for Adam, his voice harsh and broken. Aziraphale wasn’t sure if it was fear or the bruised larynx that caused him to sound like that, but either way it made his heart ache at the sound. Aziraphale knelt down next to Adam and smiled at him.

“My dear, I want you to stay by the door until your daddy is awake okay?” he asked and Adam nodded his head, his little eyes full of worry, but also an understanding he was too young to have to bare. They stepped through the door together but Adam released his hand so he could step farther into the room. He walked over to the edge of the bed, Crowley had blankets twisted all around him and he looked to be struggling to free himself.

“Adam!” He sobbed as he fought some imaginary foe in his mind and the blankets in real life. Aziraphale knew enough to know not to touch Crowley in this state, he could become violent. The fact that Adam had gotten out and come straight to Aziraphale without being hurt was a minor miracle. Crowley never would have forgiven him if he’d hurt Adam. Perhaps another small bed was in order for the room. There was plenty of space, but that was a thought for another time.

“Anthony,” Aziraphale called from the side of the bed. He knelt down so he was closer to Crowley and wished he could reach out and touch him. His heart clenched when Crowley let out a small whimper “Anthony you need to wake up.”

“Zira,” Crowley mumbled and his movements slowed a bit.

“Yes Anthony, it’s me, Zira.” He said nodding his head though it was a useless gesture since Crowley still had his eyes closed. “Adam is here, with us, he’s perfectly safe.”

“With us?” Crowley repeated as a full body shutter passed through him and he stilled completely. It took a few silent moments before his eyes blinked open. He focused on Aziraphale, knelling at the edge of the bed. He was holding onto the edge of the bed, his eyes full worry as he looked at him.

“Hello dear boy,” Aziraphale said before he stood back up and Crowley took a wobbly deep breath.

“Adam?” He asked with a small wince and Aziraphale hoped he hadn’t aggravated his ribs with all that moving. Aziraphale looked towards the door and Crowley’s eyes followed him. Adam had wiped his eyes and face while Aziraphale woke Crowley, and he had a small smile on his face now. He looked up at Aziraphale, probably looking for permission to go to his dad and Aziraphale nodded and suddenly Adam was running towards the bed. He stopped at the end of the bed and slowly climbed into it.

“Are you okay daddy?” He asked and Crowley nodded his head and swallowed hard with a wince. He’d been yelling in his sleep and now his throat hurt a bit though it still it felt better than it had yesterday. Adam made his way up the bed till he could reach up and hug Crowley.

“Sorry I scared you,” Crowley whispered holding on tightly to Adam. Whispering didn't hurt much at all; he hoped he’d be able to be rid of the notepad soon.

“You’re not scary daddy,” Adam said shaking his head. “Dog and me got Zira and he fixed you.” Crowley looked over Adam’s head and mouthed ‘Thank you’ at him. He was still in awe over the fact that he’d found Zira again, still couldn’t believe his best friend was standing in front of him. His hair was mussed from sleep and his pajamas were wrinkled and Crowley thought he’d never looked more appealing.

“Adam dear, I’m going to make your daddy a cup of tea, to help relax him so he can sleep, but it’s awfully late for young men. Would you like to take dog and lay down in my bed?” Aziraphale asked and Adam looked up from his dad’s neck.

“I’m not tired,” he said before he yawned widely and both adults smiled, though Crowley’s was wobbly at best. “Well, maybe a little.”

“Come now, you lie down and get some more sleep and in the morning you can help me make crepes!” Aziraphale said trying to make it sound like an adventure. Adam’s face lit up at the mention of crepes and he nodded his head.

“We only make crepes for birthdays!” he said excitedly. Aziraphale’s eyes caught Crowley’s and for a moment he was transported back, crepes on his birthday, it had been their tradition, for all four birthdays he’d known him. He smiled at Crowley, though his returned smile was a bit forced and Aziraphale looked back down at Adam.

“Well, perhaps this once we could make an exception?” Aziraphale said looking back up at Crowley who chuckled lightly; the smile making it to his eyes a bit now and nodded his head.

“Brilliant!” Adam said before he leaned over and slowly kissed Crowley’s cheek. “I love you daddy,” He told him and Aziraphale could see tears in Crowley’s eyes.

“Love you too kiddo,” Crowley whispered back before Adam crawled out of the bed.

“I’ll be right back,” Aziraphale told Crowley as he stepped from the room with Adam.

As soon as they were out of the room Crowley fell back into the bed with a sob. He curled into a ball, ignoring the stabbing pain that rang out from his ribs, pulling a pillow to his chest and clutching it tightly. How could he be so stupid? He could have hurt Adam! And now he was letting Zira take care of him, which should be his job. He was pathetic! He couldn’t take care of himself, let alone his own son. He heard when Zira returned to the room, slowly approaching the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed, so they were facing away from each other.

“Adam is fine,” he said softly and Crowley bit his lip to keep the sobbing at bay. The bed shifted slightly and suddenly there was a weight behind Crowley. Slowly an arm wrapped around his chest and a harsh sob escaped him. He let Zira pull him into his chest, holding him close. The hand under Crowley’s head carded through his hair as Aziraphale soothed him.

“Everything is going to be okay,” he told him softly. “Adam is fine; you are going to be fine. You are a wonderful father,” Crowley shook his head hard and Zira sighed. “You are; that boy loves you to pieces.” Crowley was still shaking his head and then he winced. “None of that now, you’ll hurt yourself worse. You got yourself out of a very hard situation and you are taking wonderful care of that boy.”

“Could...could have hurt him,” he sobbed out as his hand left the pillow and gripped onto Zira’s arm, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his wrist.

“That is not your fault,” Aziraphale told him softly and Crowley hiccuped and took a deep breath, trying to rein in the tears. “I feel remiss for not thinking about the fact that you may have nightmares myself,” he told him and Crowley shifted just a little so he could see part of Aziraphale’s face. His tears seemed to have stopped for a moment as he took in Aziraphale’s words.

“How would you know?” He asked quietly, his voice was still scratchy, but it no longer felt like someone was squeezing it with a hot iron when he spoke.

“Ah...well,” Aziraphale paused for a moment and Crowley could feel him take a deep breath. “I work with my church, took a number of courses. I’m a trained trauma councilor.” Crowley chuckled wetly and shifted farther around so they were face to face. He was happy that Zira didn't pull his arm back from around him. They’d never been this close before, as teens one didn't just cuddle with their male friends this way. Especially when one was wrestling with feelings they weren’t sure they should be having about said male friend.

“Of course you are,” he said with a note of humor in his voice. “And...” he trailed off and looked down for a moment. “And what would you tell someone in my situation?” he finished but did not look up at him; instead he buried his face in the space between Zira’s neck and shoulder.

“I’d say...” Crowley felt him take another deep breath and let it out slowly. “I'd say that you are an amazing father, taking great care of a sweet little boy. You took the two of you out of a very bad situation and are working towards healing. Tears, anger, resentment, these are all very normal feelings. And as long as you continue to work through them in a healthy manner then I think you will be fine, as will Adam.”

“Thank you Zira,” Crowley muttered against his chest and Aziraphale could hear the wariness in his voice.

“Sleep dear boy,” he whispered as he ran his hand through his hair. “And we will deal with tomorrow when it comes.” He could feel it the moment Crowley finally fell back into sleep. He continued to watch him, long into the night, so he could chase away any other bad dreams.

~*~One~*~

Crowley woke to the sounds of giggling rolling through the flat. He sat up slowly, glad that his head was beginning to feel better. He reached up and ran his fingers over the bandage on the back of his head. He’d need to get a haircut soon; this long on top shaved underneath look was not for him. Perhaps he’d leave a bit of length on top. It had been terribly relaxing to have Zira run his hands through it. He wondered how inappropriate it might be if he kissed him? Probably highly, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about doing it. He had a lot of practice thinking about Kissing Zira, years’ worth in fact. He imagined his lips would be soft, that it would start out sweet, innocent, and then turn heated. He cleared his throat and shook his head lightly to stop that train of thought and was relieved that his throat didn't burn any longer. There was still an ache, like a bruise on the inside of his throat, but it was not as bad as it had been.

He listened closely and smiled when another peel of laughter drifted in to him from outside the bedroom. Adam was laughing; he hadn’t heard Adam laugh like that in ages. It seemed Zira was good for both of them. A slight blush colored his cheeks as his thoughts turned back to Zira and the night before, wrapped up in his arms. He thought he should maybe be embarrassed by the tears and the vulnerability he’d shown last night, but he really wasn’t. He was so completely at ease with Zira, in a way he’d never been with anyone else. He stood up gingerly but still winced at the stabbing pain that flared in his ribs. He knelt down next to his bag at the end of the bed and pulled out a new shirt and carefully pulled it on, it was an old black t-shirt with a faded picture of Darth Vader on it, Adam loved Star Wars and then pulled out a pair of his loose fitting jeans and pulled them on. He ran his hands through his hair and left his feet bare. He walked slowly from the room towards the giggling. He found Adam standing by the kitchen counter on a chair, he and Zira were covered in flower and it was the most endearing sight he’d ever seen.

“Oh hello dear,” Zira said looking up when he entered the room. “Adam and I are making crepes.” He said with a bright smile on his face. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he had an untied bow-tie hanging around his neck, under his collar. Crowley bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from blurting out how good Zira looked.

“It looks like you’re making a mess,” he joked after he took a minute to compose his thoughts, his voice was hoarse and it still hurt, but he could talk again.

“Ah yes, well we had a small accident, didn't we young man?” he asked looking at Adam with a wink and Adam started to giggle again. He looked back up at Crowley with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, ribs are still killing me,” he said walking slowly into the kitchen. He watched as Zira poured him a cup of coffee and his smile brightened. He took a long drink and sighed as it soothed his throat. “But my head feels better.”

“I’m glad you're getting better daddy,” Adam said climbing down off the chair Zira had him on. “Come sit down, we’re making you breakfast.” He told him solemnly as he took his hand to lead him over to the small breakfast nook. 

“Sounds great kid,” He said as he lowered himself into the chair carefully. He had to sit up straight and it made him fidget, he wanted to be able to sprawl in the chair like he normally would have.

“After you have some food in your stomach you can take something for the pain,” Zira told him and Crowley nodded his head and smiled. He watched them cook, Zira moving easily around Adam. He showed him how to make the crepes and told him when he was a little older he’d let him try it. It was a simple comment, but it almost had Crowley tearing up. It was blatant proof that Zira didn't plan on going anywhere, because, unless he’d changed greatly since they’d been friends, Zira never said something he didn't mean.

Adam carried his plate over to him, his face screwed up in concentration so he didn't drop it. He set it down in front of his dad with a huge smile on his face. The strawberries on top of it looked like they’d been cut with a shredder and he looked over Adam’s head at Zira who smiled.

“Adam helped me cut the berries,” He told him, the look on his face was serious, but his eyes twinkled with mirth.

“With a real knife!” Adam said proudly and Crowley chuckled as he nodded.

“It looks amazing buddy, thanks,” he told him as Zira brought over two other plates and they all sat down to eat. Crowley took a bite and nearly moaned at the burst of flavor.

“Boy,” he said before he took a drink of coffee, “This sure beats cereal, huh buddy?” he asked ruffling Adam’s hair.

“Sure does,” Adam said nodding his head. “Tomorrow we’re gonna make waffles!” Adam exclaimed happily as he ate and Crowley looked up at Zira who was smiling sheepishly.

“Buddy we should probably get out of Zira’s hair,” He said and Zira’s eyes went wide with alarm as Adam began to pout.

“You needn’t be worried about that,” Zira said shaking his head softly. “I...” he trailed off and took a drink of his tea. “I’d love if you’d stay, at least until you’re feeling better.” Crowley looked down at his plate with a frown. How could he explain that they couldn’t stay here, Adam couldn’t sleep with him again, he’d end up hurting him for sure. He opened his mouth to say as much when there was a buzzing sound and Zira’s smile widened.

“Ah, they’re a bit early,” He said as he pushed his chair back and stood.

“Who are?” Crowley asked watching as Zira walked over to the front door and pushed a button.

“Hello?” He said and there was a crackling sound then a new voice.

“Ello, I got a delivery for a Mr. Fell?” The voice said and Zira wiggled a bit with excitement.

“Yes, good, bring it up,” he told them pressing the buzzer so they could head up. He opened the front door a moment later and a big man with an even bigger box on a moving trolley walked in, pulling the trolley in.

“Where’s this goin?” He asked looking over his shoulder at Zira.

“Right this way gents,” he said and Crowley could see now there was another man coming in carrying a twin sized mattress. Crowley narrowed his eyes as he stood and watched them head towards the spare room that he and Adam had stayed in.

“Up against this wall please,” Zira was telling them as Crowley walked into the room, Adam right behind him. Zira caught his eyes and Crowley could see there was a blush coloring his cheeks. He walked over to Crowley and Adam in the doorway, wringing his hands in front of him. He looked worried, afraid of Crowley’s reaction to this perhaps?

“You ordered Adam a bed,” he said, his voice a little flat with shock and Zira winced just a little.

“I know, it was awfully presumptuous of me, but dear boy I- oaf!” he was cut up as Crowley grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug. “Oh, you’re not mad then?” Zira said hugging him back fondly. Crowley hid his face in Zira’s neck as he shook his head. Zira could feel a wetness on his shoulder and he rubbed Crowley’s back soothingly.

“Please let me know when it’s done,” Aziraphale said over his shoulder as he pulled Crowley around and out the door, Adam right on their heels.

“Is dad okay?” He asked quietly pulling on Aziraphale’s shirt.

“Yes dear boy, he’s just a little overwhelmed at the moment,” Aziraphale assured him with a smile as he lead Crowley back over to the table. They all sat back down, Crowley leaned on his hand and Aziraphale scooted his chair closer to Crowley’s so he could continue to rub his back.

After just a minute Crowley took a deep breath and looked up at Aziraphale. There were still tears on his face and a blush colored his cheeks, but he was smiling. He reached out and cupped Zira’s face, rubbing his thumb over the apple of his cheek.

“Thank you,” he said eyes locked on Aziraphale’s. Aziraphale bit his lip and took a deep breath, never breaking eye contact.

“It’s my pleasure,” he said softly and Crowley smirked and licked his lips and Zira’s eyes darted down to them for just a moment.

“You’re like my own personal guardian angel,” He told him softly and Zira’s blush deepened a bit.

“No, I just-

“No, you really are, an angel on earth,” he said nodding his head, eyes still locked on Aziraphale’s. Crowley was still holding Aziraphale’s cheek and his hand was still on Crowley’s back. He wasn’t sure if he was seeing things but it almost seemed like Crowley was beginning to lean towards him and Aziraphale felt like his heart had stopped as he watched, breath held.

“What did he do?” Adam asked breaking the spell that had descended on them as they both flinched and looked over at him. He was smiling as he looked between the two of them.

“What?” Crowley said, he was sure his cheeks were flaming now. Jeez was he really leaning into Aziraphale? He needed to rein this in before he did something to ruin the friendship he’d only just gotten back.

“What did Mr. Fell do?” Adam asked again and even though he was sure he was blushing furiously Aziraphale smiled at him.

“Adam, please call me Zira, it’s what your father calls me,” Aziraphale told him with a smile as he looked at Crowley out of the corner of his eye. Crowley swallowed hard and shook his head.

“Nah, from now on I’m gonna call you Angel,” he said with a smirk as Aziraphale looked over at him. He was sure his blush was as red as Crowley’s hair now. “But you can call him Zira, since he’s given you permission,” He said looking back over at his son. Adam nodded his head though he looked a little exasperated.

“Okay, Zira,” Adam said drawing out ‘okay’ as he looked back at Aziraphale. “What did you do? Why was dad crying?”

“Because he ordered you a bed, so we can stay here while I recoup.” Crowley said with a huge smile before he turned back to Aziraphale. “Seriously angel, you’re one in a million.” Crowley said before he picked up his fork and cut a bite of his crepes. “I’m starving!” He said digging back into his now mostly cold breakfast with relish.

~*~Two~*~

“How is your throat feeling?” Aziraphale asked as they sat on the couch in front of his ancient (according to Crowley) TV with some silly kids program playing while Adam built something fantastical with his legos.

“Good, much better,” Crowley told him before he took a sip of his tea. Aziraphale was still making him rest his voice most of the day, though he didn't have to go back to the notepad, so that was a plus. “You're sure we’re not-

“Crowley I would like nothing more than having you and Adam here,” Aziraphale said, cutting him off. He’d asked some form of this question at least half a dozen times since breakfast. Then a thought occurred to Aziraphale and he frowned a little, maybe there was a reason he kept asking, looking for an out perhaps? “As long as you’d like to stay, that is.”

“I do,” Crowley assured him, probably a little too fast, nodding his head before he smiled. They locked eyes again but Crowley looked away almost immediately this time, staring at his hands as he searched for something else to say. “Anathema texted me this morning, to ask if I wanted her to open today, and I told her to hold off.” He told him as he spun is cup in his hand slowly. He loved his shop; it was the second most important thing in his life, but just stepping through the door felt...daunting. “I have enough laid by to keep it closed for a week or so and she’s been going by to keep the flowers up and stuff.”

“Oh I’m glad to hear that,” Aziraphale smiled as Adam stood up with a smile on his face and thrust something towards them.

“Look!” He said a huge smile on his face. Whatever he was holding looked humanoid and had some kind of white appendages sticking out the back. “I made an angel, like you Zira!” He told them proudly, and then he stepped away and began to fly around the room with it.

“Oh dear,” Aziraphale muttered as he blushed and Crowley chuckled.

“Think you better get used to the nickname, angel.” He told him with a wink. He loved the blush that colored Zira’s cheeks, “So-

Crowley was cut off by the ringing of Aziraphale’s mobile, which was sitting on the table in front of them. He smiled and looked down at it and Aziraphale sighed and leaned over and picked it up.

“Hello?” He asked and then he frowned just a little. “I’m sorry I’m not giving that information out to someone on the phone.” He said and his eyes went a little hard. “Yes I understand that you say you’re the police, but that doesn’t mean anything over the phone.” He seemed to lighten up just a little and then he nodded his head. “I’ll do that then, thank you.” He pulled the mobile away and pushed the off button and Crowley tilted his head and waited.

“Seems the police need to take a statement,” he told him and Crowley nodded his head. He’d been expecting that. “I wouldn’t tell them if you were here,” He said and Crowley gave him a slightly confused look and Aziraphale huffed. “Well, they could be anyone, couldn’t they, reporters or something.” He told him and Crowley smiled, touched at how protective he was being of them. “He told me to look up the number for Scotland Yard and ask for a DI Hastur, he’s in charge of your case.”

“Ah, that makes sense,” Crowley said pulling out his mobile and opening up a search engine. He typed away for a moment then smiled. “Ready angel?” He asked and smirked as the light blush re-bloomed over his face at the nickname, he was never going to get tired of that.

“Indeed,” he said nodding his head, though he looked slightly exasperated, his tone was gentle. Crowley read out the number and Aziraphale typed it into his mobile then looked up. “When would you like to meet with them?”

“Might as well get it out of the way; see if they can come by this afternoon.” He told him and Aziraphale frowned again.

“Are you sure dear, you’ve been using your voice an awful lot today, I don’t want you to strain it?” It was a little ridiculous how protective he felt over Crowley and Adam. He looked up and met Crowley’s eyes, hoping that he didn't look upset by his comment. But Crowley was simply smiling at him, a small crooked smile that made Aziraphale’s heart skip a beat.

“I’ll drink tea the whole time, promise,” Crowley assured him with a wink and Aziraphale sighed and nodded his head. Crowley loved how protective Zira had become again. He’d been the same in school, always looking out for Crowley and his best interests, which had meant before he’d been sent away; he’d had an almost sterling record at school.

“I guess the sooner you speak to them the sooner we can move on from this.” Aziraphale told him and Crowley nodded his head, though his mind short-circuited a bit at the ‘we’ in that sentence.

~*~Three~*~

“Are they going to be mean to you?” Adam asked his eyes worried as Crowley explained that some police men were going to come talk to them about what had happened. Crowley sighed and pulled Adam into his arms gently and hugged him.

“I don’t know love, I’ve never met them but-

“If they are I’ll see them quickly to the door and we’ll demand someone else takes over your daddy’s case, okay?” Aziraphale told him and Adam brightened up immediately at that and nodded his head.

“Thanks Zira!” He told him before he stepped out of his dads arms and headed back over to his legos. Crowley sat slowly back on the couch and rubbed the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. He had taken a pain pill just after lunch so he shouldn’t be in pain when the DI showed up. Zira’d already made him promise to tell him if anything started to hurt too badly during the interview. Aziraphale was sitting in his plush chair kitty-corner to the end of the couch Crowley was on. After a long moment Crowley opened his eyes and placed his arm on the arm of the couch and looked over to Adam, who was once again building something crazy, then looked up at Aziraphale.

“When I left with Adam, after she hit him, I went to the A&E, to get it all on file.” He told him and Aziraphale nodded his head, he knew that part, Crowley had told him that the first day in hospital so he waited for him to go on. “The officer that showed up to take my statement, he... didn't have much sympathy for my situation.” He finally said though the words were a bit stilted, like he was holding back. “Felt it was ludicrous that I’d let my wife beat me up. That I, as a _man_ , couldn’t keep my wife in line. Told me I was setting a terrible example for my son.” He looked pained just repeating the words out loud; he closed his eyes on a sigh and leaned back a bit. Aziraphale didn't want him to go into these interviews already tense and stressed.

“What a twat,” Aziraphale said with heat, though not too loudly. Crowley’s eye’s popped open wide at the word ‘twat’ and he goggled at him for a moment. Hearing such a strong swear word coming out of Zira’s mouth, who Crowley would swear had never uttered anything worse then ‘drat’, pulled him straight out of his melancholy and he barked out a laugh.

“Angel, language!” He chided him as he chuckled, then winced just slightly, though his smile never faltered. Zira had a small knowing smile on his face and Crowley realized he did it just for that reaction and his heart swelled at the knowledge. “Anyway, I did as you said and demanded another officer take over. Told my nurse what he’d said and she reported him. And of course Adam heard it all.”

“I’m so sorry my dear.” Aziraphale said placing his hand on Crowley’s arm. “Do you...” he trailed off and cleared his throat then swallowed. “Do you want me to stay or... I can head down to the shop, if you’d like your privacy.” Crowley looked up and met his eyes, honey gold searching sapphire blue for a long moment before he shook his head.

“I’d really like you to stay, if you don’t mind. I understand if-

“I don’t mind.” Zira cut him off as he squeezed his arm. “I’d like to stay.” Crowley didn't lower his eyes as Zira spoke and Zira was glade to note that the bruises around his eye and neck were starting to fade to an ugly green and purple color. He was going to do everything within his power to see Crowley and Adam healed and healthy again. Crowley reached over with his free hand and placed it on top of Zira’s hand.

“Thank you,” he said softly with a small sigh. Aziraphale smiled and nodded his head. They sat there for a long moment, staring again and Aziraphale again wondered if Crowley had been about to kiss him at breakfast. He wasn’t sure how he felt at that, overjoyed at the thought that maybe Crowley wanted to kiss him, but wary about him kissing anyone at the moment. He was vulnerable right now and he didn't want anything to happen that Crowley may regret later. They both jerked just a little when the buzzer from the outside door to the flat buzzed. Aziraphale released his arm and stood up and looked down at him.

“Are you comfortable?” he asked looking him over as the buzzer sounded again.

“I’m good angel, go let them in so we can get this over with,” Crowley told him with a smirk and Aziraphale nodded his head.

“Alright, I’m coming,” He said as the door buzzed again as he was heading to the door. He looked one more time at Crowley then at Adam before he opened the door. These officers better be nice, if they knew what was good for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! I love hearing from the fans so drop me a comment and I'll be forever grateful!


	4. Dropping In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley finally tells the whole story of what happened to him and Adam and later he gets a very surprising (though welcome) visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know! Another long wait! I'm sorry guys! Just got a new job (been a stay at home mom for 10 years) and it's taking a bit of getting used to. I'll try to upday again next week, but it may be just a bit longer then that. :-) Thanks for sticking with me though! Love you guys!

Zira drew in a deep breath and pulled open the door and looked the two men over. They looked to be in their late 30’s, one was dressed in a tan trench coat and the other had on a brown leather jacket and they both wore pensive looks. He stepped aside and gestured them into the house. The man in the trench coat stepped in first and walked farther into the flat to allow his partner room to step in.

“Hello, I’m DI Hastur, this is DS Ligur,” He said pointing to himself and his partner.

“I’m Aziraphale Fell, and this is Anthony Crowley and his son Adam,” Aziraphale said introducing them. Adam had made his way over to his dad and was standing by him staring at the two men. Aziraphale watched at Ligur’s face softened considerably as he took in Adam’s fading buries and busted lip. Perhaps he wouldn’t be throwing anyone out today.

“Hello,” Crowley said pushing himself up a bit with a wince. Aziraphale watched him as he settled a little and the pain eased out of his face.

“Mr. Crowley, thank you for taking time to talk with us, I know this isn’t easy for you,” Hastur said as he stepped over to the couch. “May I?” he asked looking at the chair that Zira had been sitting in.

“Yes, please sit,” Aziraphale said as he shut the door. Ligur walked over and stood next to the chair his partner had taken. Adam straitened himself up to his full height, all 3 feet and a two inches, and glared at the two men.

“Are you going to be nice?” He demanded of them, his face as stern as a 6 year olds could be. “Because Zira said if you’re not he’s going to kick you out.” He told them looking to Zira for confirmation as he stepped over to the couch as well.

“Yes indeed Adam,” he agreed nodding his head as he settled against the arm of the couch, resting his hand on Crowley’s arm again. Crowley looked up at him and smiled a little before he looked back at the two men.

“Yes, we read in your file what happened last time.” Hastur said nodding his head, a grimace on his face. “I want you to know we dealt with Officer Cain. He was suspended for 3 months without pay.” Crowley raised his eyebrows at that and Zira squeezed his arm. Clearly Crowley had not expected any actions to be taken. Then Hastur looked over to Adam and made eye contact with the small boy and smiled. “Your dad is very brave, and anyone who says different can talk to me about it, yeah?” He told him and Adam stared at him for a moment then smiled with a firm nod of his head. He climbed up onto the couch with his dad and took his other hand. Crowley looked from Adam to Zira and had to hold back the tears that threated, he had never in his life felt so surrounded by love and acceptance as he did with Adam holding one hand and Aziraphale holding his other arm.

“They’re okay daddy,” Adam said in what a 6 year old might think was a whisper and the adults in the room tried not to laugh at his very serious look.

“Thank you,” Crowley told DI Hastur with a smile. Hastur nodded his head and pulled out a small note pad and a pen.

“Adam,” Ligur spoke up for the first time and the boy looked up at him. “Do you like lizards?” Ligur asked as he walked around the coffee table in front of the couch and crouched down in front of Adam.

“Yeah, they’re pretty cool,” Adam said nodding his head. Ligur reached into his leather jacket and pulled out a palmed sized stuffed toy. It was a green iguana, its tail curled up at the back. Adam’s face lit up with a huge smile. Ligur looked over Adam’s head and met Crowley’s eyes.

“Could you show me the kitchen buddy? I could use a glass of water.” He asked and Crowley nodded his head slowly and then Adam looked over at his dad.

“Do you know where the cups are?” Crowley asked and Adam nodded his head.

“Zira showed me days ago!” Adam said excitedly, drawing out the word ‘days’.

“Why don’t you help DS Ligur get something to drink?” Crowley asked and Adam nodded his head and slid off the couch and walked across the room to the kitchen, Ligur right behind him, Crowley watched them go over the back of the couch.

“He’ll be okay, Ligur is great with kids, he’s got two at home just about that age.” Hastur told him when he looked back. That eased Crowley’s tension and he nodded his head. “Would you like to speak in privet?” Hastur asked keeping his eyes on Crowley. He didn't tense or fidget, if anything he relaxed even more.

“No, thank you, but here is fine,” Crowley told him and Hastur nodded his head his eyes darting up to Aziraphale for a moment. “Angel...” He trailed off and blushed a bit with a smile. “Sorry, _Aziraphale_ is an old friend, I trust him emphatically.”

“Alright then,” Hastur said after a moment. He cleared his throat and flipped open his notebook. “Walk me through what happened on the evening of July 16th?”

Crowley bit his bottom lip as he took a deep breath and looked up at Zira. He shifted his weight and looked down at Crowley at almost the same moment and Crowley let the breath out slowly as he held Zira’s eyes. There was so much compassion in his eyes, no judgment, no pity, just an over flowing feeling of peace. He smiled, just a little at Zira and then turned to look back to DI Hastur.

“We’d just gotten back to the flat after closing up the shop. Adam likes to help with closing cause he gets to water the flowers,” Crowley started with a small chuckle.

~*~The Night of July 16th~*~

Crowley closed the door to the flat behind him and began the process of locking the three locks on his door when there was a loud crash and the sound of glass shattering from the kitchen. He turned from the door and sprinted into the kitchen to find Adam standing in front of the open dishwasher with a shocked look on his face.

“I’m sorry!” he said when Crowley got to him. “I just wanted a glass of water.” He said his voice tinged with tears and Crowley nodded, being sure to only show the concern on his face.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he stepped farther into the kitchen.

“Yeah,” Adam said nodding his head as a tear escaped and ran down his cheek.

“I’m not mad buddy, yeah?” he said smiling at him. “I’m just glad you’re okay. It’s just a glass.” He told him as he reached out and picked him up and then stepped back from the mess and set him down at the entrance to the kitchen. “Can you get me the broom?”

“Yes,” Adam said nodding his head before he turned and walked over to the small closet they kept that stuff in. He looked tiny as he carried it back over to Crowley. Crowley took it with a smile and pulled the dust bin off and handed it to Adam.

“You can hold that when I sweep it up okay?” he asked and Adam smiled just a little with a nod. Crowley turned back and began sweeping up. When he had it all in a nice little pile he had Adam come over and he showed him how to hold the dust bin so he could sweep the glass into it. Then he helped Adam walk it over to the rubbish bin and dump it in.

“Nice job kiddo,” he said ruffling his hair. Adam smiled brightly at him and hugged him before he pulled away. They walked back into the living room so Crowley could set him up with something to watch while he made dinner. “So, what should we do for dinner?”

Adam opened his mouth to answer when there was a sharp knock on the front door. Both their heads jerked towards the sound as it got a little louder.

“I know you're in there Anthony, open the door!” Michael’s voice yelled and a cold shiver ran through Crowley’s body. The knocking became a loud pounding and his eyes flickered to the door and he realized he didn't bolt or chain the door. The pounding stopped for a moment but he could still hear voices behind it and that meant she had someone with her.

“Daddy,” Adam whispered in a very small voice and Crowley dashed towards the door to lock it. But two feet from the door there was a loud crash and the wood splintered as the door flew open. Michael stepped into the flat and her eyes narrowed on Crowley. Crowley winced when Sandy, Michael’s older brother, stepped in after her. He was just a little shorter then Crowley, but he was big, way bigger then Crowley.

“The fuck is wrong with you?!” Crowley demanded as he glared at them both. “Get out or I’m calling the police.” He could hear Adam moving behind him and as much as he wanted to turn and comfort his son he didn't want to take his eyes off of Sandy.

“You’re not calling anyone.” Michael told him, her voice semi calm. “I just came to get my son, and then I’ll be on my way.”

“Michael, are you crazy? You must be if you think I’m going to stand here and let you take my son. You're breaking about three laws, just being here.” Crowley reminded her, in case she’d forgotten the restraining order he took out and the ‘no contact order’ the judge handed down at her sentencing. “How are you even out of jail?”

“Good behavior,” She said smugly and Crowley’s mind whirled. Why the hell hadn’t his lawyer called and let him know she was out? Hadn’t he told him he’d keep him informed about everything?

“Michael, please, don’t do this, just leave us alone,” He pleaded with her and she just glared at him. She stepped towards him, as if to go passed him and Crowley moved to block her. He may not have been able to stand up to her for himself, but he wasn’t about to let her take his son. She went to step around him and he went to block her again but was jerked back by the neck of his shirt. Sandy yanked his arm back and around so he was facing the beefy man.

“Get off me you arsehole!” Crowley shouted as he struggled. He swung up, intending to punch Sandy, but he was jerked to the side again and missed his mark.

“Adam where-

He was cut off when Sandy’s large fist caught him in the face sending him sprawling to the ground. Crowley scrambled back up onto his feet, bleed dripping from his lip and charged at Sandy, hoping to use his size against him. He hit him in the stomach with his shoulder and heard him groan. He straightened up to hit him but was caught across the face, this time by a backhanded slap, which hurt almost worse than the punch. He landed on his ass again and it made his head swim and he saw stars for just a moment.

The wind was knocked out of him when a sudden weight dropped onto his chest and a large hand wrapped around his throat before he slammed his head into the ground once, then again. His whole body hurt and he felt like he might be sick as his vision swam even worse.

“Don’t kill him you oaf,” He distantly heard Michael say as he forced his eyes open.

“Daddy!” He heard Adam yell for him then he was there, pulling on Sandy’s arm as hard as he could. He opened his mouth to tell him to stop, to run, but he couldn’t get anything out. He watched as Sandy flung his arm back, catching Adam across the face and sending him flying back a foot or so, onto his butt, right next to the front door.

“Run!” Crowley finally managed to shout at his son. Adam looked at his dad for just a moment before he scrambled up to his feet and ran out the front door.

~*~Present Day~*~

“The police showed up just a minute or two after Adam ran,” Crowley told him. Zira must have stood up and walked around the coffee table somewhere in the middle of his tail because he was now sitting next to him, holding his hand in both of his slightly larger hands, his thumb stroking Crowley’s knuckles. “I’m not sure who called them though,” he said finally looking back up at DI Hastur. He looked up from his notes and Crowley could see that this was a detective who was not about to berate him or call him less of a man.

“The building next to yours also has a flat above it, they called the police,” he told Crowley and Crowley nodded. He’d never really gotten to know his neighbors; he’d have to change that.

“Am I correct in assuming you're pressing charges?” Hastur asked after a moment.

“Yes,” Crowley said nodding his head once. “Will there...will there be a trail?”

“That depends on how they plead and what the DA works out.” Hastur told him and Crowley sighed, he didn't want a trail, he knew they’d want Adam to stand as a witness and he didn't want to put his son through that, but he also didn't want them out on the street again. Hastur looked up over their heads and jerked his head back just a little and Ligur and Adam came back a few moments later.

“I got you some more tea,” Adam told his dad as he handed him a cup and Crowley smiled at him a bit. “Mr. Ligur helped me make it,” he said proudly.

“Thanks buddy,” he said and Aziraphale noticed his voice was starting to sound a little hoarse.

“Will you be needing anything else tonight?” Aziraphale asked and Hastur looked over at him.

“No, we got everything we need,” He stood and Ligur walked over to him. “It might be a good idea to look into getting a lawyer, just in case.” He told Crowley who nodded and took a sip of his tea. “We’ll see ourselves out, thank you.” Hastur told them and as soon as the door closed behind them Crowley sagged into the couch. Adam crawled up onto the couch, Aziraphale released Crowley’s hand and rested his arm on the back of the couch as Adam wormed his way in-between the two of them and leaned his head on his dads shoulder. Aziraphale dropped his hand onto Crowley’s shoulder and Crowley looked over Adam’s head and smiled at him.

“Thank you angel,” he said softly and Aziraphale scoffed with a light blush. He was a little overwhelmed by the trust in Crowley’s eyes. He didn't really know what he’d done to earn it, but he’d be sure to keep a hold of it.

“I didn't do anything dear,” He told him and Crowley shook his head softly.

“You were here,” he told him and Aziraphale didn't know what to say to that so he smiled at him and nodded.

“How about we start a movie, and then in an hour or so we order a pizza?” Aziraphale asked looking down at Adam. He looked up from his dads shoulder with a shaky smile on his face and nodded his head. It lacked his normal enthusiasm, but Aziraphale figured he’d take it for now.

~*~One~*~

The next three days went much the same, without the police visit of course. They woke each morning and Aziraphale and Adam made breakfast together and Crowley woke to the scent of bacon or sausage and giggling. It was the best way to wake up as far as he was concerned. Crowley had not had another nightmare, so far, and Aziraphale counted that as a bit of a win. Every day the three of them seemed to grow closer. They played games with Adam, silly games that Crowley and Aziraphale made up on the spot. Every day Crowley seemed to heal a bit more, mentally and physically, he smiled more. He laughed more freely and his voice improved to the point that it only really ached a little at night, but a good cup of Zira’s special hot cocoa (made with a dash of Bailey's) seemed to fix it right up. Then in the evening they would all settle in after dinner and watch a movie. Half way through Adam would fall asleep and Aziraphale, because Crowley wasn’t supposed to lift him yet, would carry him into bed. They stayed up after Adam had gone to bed each night, getting to know each other again. On the evening of the third day, after putting Adam to bed, Crowley got an unexpected visitor.

“Crowley, I was wondering if-

He was cut off by the buzzer for the front door going off. They both looked up towards the door as it buzzed again. Then Crowley looked over at Aziraphale with a small frown.

“Are you...expecting someone?” He asked and Aziraphale shook his head slowly as he set his glass of wine down and stood up. He could see that Crowley had tensed just a little as he watched him walk over to the door.

“Hello?” he said and there was a crackle then a loud voice.

“Anthony! What the hell is going on!?” The very loud upset voice called over the line and Aziraphale looked back over at Crowley. His face had gone pale and his eyes were wide as he stared. Aziraphale abandoned the buzzer and walked back over to him worriedly.

“Crowley, what’s wrong, who is that? Do I need to call the police?” he asked and Crowley let out a huge breath on a bit of a laugh and shook his head. They both looked over as the buzzer went off again, three times in a row.

“No, it’s Beez,” he said and though Aziraphale didn't know who that was he nodded.

“Should I buzz them up?” He asked and Crowley stood up with a bit of a jerk and nodded.

“Shit, yeah,” he said and Aziraphale walked over and hit the release button for the door downstairs that led to the stairs to the other door to the flat. “Shit,” Crowley said again and Aziraphale looked between the door and Crowley who was fidgeting with his wine glass. He finally bent over and set it down on the coffee table and walked around the couch. He flinched but had a small smile on his face when someone pounded on the door.

“Anthony Crowley open this door right this second!” Someone, apparently Beez, yelled on the other side of the door, though now Aziraphale could hear the worry in their voice. Aziraphale looked over to Crowley who nodded his head. Aziraphale walked over and opened the door and watched as a small person with short black hair came barreling into the flat. They went straight to Crowley and looked up at him. They were a good head shorter then Crowley, at least.

“What the hell Crowley!” They yelled and Crowley took a huge breath and let it out a little stilted and the person lunged forward and wrapped their arms around Crowley’s chest and he winced and groaned. They pulled back and looked up at him.

“Bruised ribs,” he muttered and they growled and moved their arms up to around his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around them too and held on tightly. Aziraphale watched it all with a touched look on his face. He had no idea who this person was, but they obviously meant a lot to Crowley. They pulled away after a long few seconds and reached out and touched his eye gingerly, the bruise there was fading but Aziraphale could still see it.

“I’m gonna kill her,” They growled and Crowley chuckled and blew out a breath.

“I missed you Beez,” he said with feeling and they grunted. He put his arm over their shoulder and turned them around to face Aziraphale. When he could finally see their face there was a spark of recognition and he tilted his head. “Zira, do you remember my little sister? This is Beez.” Aziraphale’s face broke out into a huge grin and he nodded his head. Though as far as he knew Crowley’s sister had been named Bethany and had also been about 12 the last time he’d seen her. Crowley hadn’t mentioned her in all their talks and he’d thought perhaps he’d lost touch with her when he ran away.

“It’s wonderful to see you again dear girl,” Aziraphale said with a huge smile. Crowley winced just a little and Aziraphale wondered why.

“I remember you,” She said stepping away from Crowley and looking up at him. “You were always pretty cool, better than some of the other brutes he ran around with. So I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume Crowley hasn’t told you about me.” She said and Aziraphale glanced at Crowley who just shrugged so he nodded his head.

“He hasn’t no,” Aziraphale agreed and she nodded her head.

“I’m Beez, Beez Crowley and its they/them, okay?” They asked and Aziraphale’s eyes went wide and looked contrite as he nodded.

“I’m so sorry my dear, I will endeavor to not make that mistake again,” he said and they broke out into a smile.

“Oh boy, he hasn’t changed at all,” They said looking over their shoulder at Crowley. One of the biggest things that stuck out in Beez’s mind about Zira was his politeness and his very old fashioned way of speaking.

“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ at the end with a huge smile. “Isn’t it great?” They nodded their head then suddenly rounded on Crowley again.

“Why the hell didn't you call me?” They demanded and Crowley held up his hands, but he was smiling, almost laughing.

“Shh, Adam is in bed,” Crowley told them and they frowned and nodded. “And I didn't call because you weren’t even supposed to be reachable till the end of the month.” He reminded them and they sagged a little, the fight going out of their shoulders.

“I’m sorry Anthony,” They told him, their voice going soft. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

“Nothing you could have done,” He told them as he reached out and took their hand. Aziraphale watched as something passed between them as they stood there in silence, whatever it was they were both smiling when Crowley let their hand go again.

“I would have been there for you, I would have kicked their stupid asses,” They growled with a lot of pent-up anger. Crowley met Aziraphale’s eyes over their head with a soft smile and he returned it.

“I promise, Zira has been taking great care of Adam and I,” He said as he looked back down at them and they looked over at Aziraphale. He moved over towards Crowley and ran a hand down his arm with a small smile on his face. They seemed to track his movements then just watched him as he stood next to their brother. After a long moment he smiled and they nodded then turned back to Crowley.

“And are you two-

“Getting on like no time has passed, yep, sure are!” Crowley cut them off hurriedly. He knew where that question was going and he didn't want to get into that right this minute. Aziraphale had a feeling that was not what they were going to say, but he let it pass.

“Would you like a glass of wine?” Aziraphale asked for a change of subject and Beez chuckled as they looked between the two of them.

“Sure, red if you have it” They asked him and he nodded and headed back to the kitchen. They took Crowley’s arm and dragged him over to the couch and dropped down onto it and he followed them down. “So what’s going on there?” They asked in a whisper and Crowley winced and looked over the back of the couch. Aziraphale was pouring a glass of wine for all of them and he also seemed to have a few blocks of cheese out on the counter, so he must be getting some nibbles too.

“Nothing, we’re just friends,” He told them and they snorted. Beez had been listening to him talk about Zira since they’d found him again at 17. They’d been homeless as their parents had kicked them out when they came out as non-binary. Crowley had taken them in; much to his (almost) ex-wife’s dismay and helped them get a job and a place of their own. Now in their spare time they traveled around with a non-profit group spreading understanding of LGBT rights. It could be dangerous work, but Beez loved it.

“So I suppose you haven’t told him that you got shipped off to that fucking place because of him?” They asked and Crowley glared at them.

“It was not because of him, Beez I swear if you make him think-

“Relax brother,” They said holding up one of their hands. “I know, I’m sorry, it was a bad joke.” He nodded his head and sighed as he relaxed back in the chair.

“It hasn’t changed though, I thought, there’s no way I could still feel the same, ten years later right?” He asked and they nodded their head looking sympathetic. “But I was so wrong, Beez, it’s only gotten stronger in the last week; he’s done everything for us. He ordered Adam a bed, so that we could stay here while I heal. He gets up with him every morning and cooks with him.” He said his voice so low he almost sounded reverent.

“And does he...” They trailed off and Crowley’s shoulders sagged a little then he shrugged.

“Sometimes, I think...maybe.” Crowley told them before he blew out a long breath. “But sometimes he looks at me like I'm...fragile.” Crowley said as he wrinkled up his nose and Beez nodded their head looking thoughtful. “It’s like he’s afraid I’m gonna break, or like-

“Like maybe he doesn’t wanna rush you right after you went through a hugely emotional trauma?” They asked giving Crowley a pointed look and he blushed a little and then nodded his head. “Frankly I like him even more now,” they told him with a small smile. “You need to give yourself time big brother.” They told him and he took a deep breath and then pursed his lips and nodded his head again. “But...” They said trailing off before they looked over the back of the couch towards the kitchen.

Crowley looked over the back of the couch too and saw as Zira quickly looked back down at the cutting board in front of him. Crowley was pretty sure there was a bit of a blush rising up on his cheeks. He looked back at Beez and they were smiling.

“We’ve been siting over here for five minutes and he’s looked at you no less than six times,” They told him with a smirk. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about in that regard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I hope everyone has a great rest of the week! I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe out there! Hope you liked the new chapter! Drop me a line and let me know what you think! Reviews are my life blood! :-)


	5. SLowly Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley has a minor setback and a few good talks are had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, not my typical length, but I wanted to get something posted. Had a house fire on the 4th of July. Stupid neighbors doing stupid fireworks. Anyway I'm without a computer at the moment so I'll be writing at my parents when I can. Stick with me though, I'll update, just don't know when.

Aziraphale sat at his small kitchen table, a cup of tea in front of him and Beez sitting across from him. They had a contemplative look on their face as they eyed him over their cup of coffee. They had both legs drawn up on the chair, one leg was up and they were resting their cup on their knee. They had woken up about 15 minutes ago. He’d forgotten they were sleeping on the couch when he came out and started making the coffee and tea. Aziraphale had asked if they drank coffee like their brother to which they grunted what he assumed was an affirmative and they headed into the kitchen where it was freshly brewed. They had then joined him at the table and began to stare at him. Aziraphale shifted in his seat slightly unnerved by their stare before they smirked.

“Why are you helping him?” They asked and he scoffed at them and took a sip of his tea.

“He’s my best friend.” Aziraphale said simply as if that was obvious.

“You haven’t seen him in ten years,” They pointed out and Aziraphale sighed and drummed his fingers on the table.

“That doesn’t change how I feel about him,” Aziraphale said and their face lit up in interest at that and they sat forward resting their chin on their knee now as they moved their cup to both their hands in front of their leg. 

“And how is that?” They asked and Aziraphale understood what this was now, he was being given the ‘don’t hurt him or I’ll kill you’ talk. “Because as you well know he just got out of a very bad situation.” 

“I do know, yes.” Aziraphale told them, nodding his head. He didn’t think he’d ever forget the way Crowley and Adam had looked that day in his bookshop, both bloodied and so scared. He set his tea cup down and folded his hands over his stomach and stared at them across the table. He was glad to know that Crowley had had them, that they had found each other again. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly and looked them in their eyes. 

“I love him Beez, I have since I was 16 years old and I realized what love was. I have been looking for him since I was 17 and he disappeared. I cannot tell you how many tall, thin redheads I have run after since I’ve been back in London. How many search engines I’ve used and private detectives I’ve hired. And now I know for the last two years his shop has been two blocks away and... How...how did I not know that?” He asked and his voice hitched a little on a sob as he paused and picked up his tea again; he needed to sip it to get himself under control; he did not want to start crying. Beez’s eyes were wide with surprise, they hadn’t expected him to be so candid with them, he could tell. He cleared his throat and looked towards the door that Crowley was sleeping behind. 

“Now, I don’t know that he feels the same, sometimes I think...maybe,” He carefully kept his eyes on the door, he did not want to see either confirmation or regret in Beez’s eyes. “But when he’s ready, if he does feel the same... You have to know I would never let anything happen to him, or Adam. Adam is an amazing little boy and I find myself dreading the day when Crowley decides he’s ready to go back to his flat.” He took a sip of his tea again and looked back to them; he was shocked at the single tear rolling down their cheek. “So... are we good?” he asked and they nodded their head slowly.

“Yeah, um... yeah, we’re good,” They said as they reached up and wiped their cheek. They both looked over as the spare room door opened and Adam stepped out, his lizard and dog in one hand, his other wiping his eye. 

“Good morning dear boy,” Aziraphale said smiling brightly as Adam closed the door behind him. They had a bit of a system, the two of them; they’d open it again when breakfast was almost ready so the scents of coffee and food would wake Crowley. Adam was halfway to the table before he noticed the other person sitting at it. His face lit up as any residual tiredness vanished in an instant.

“BeeBee!” Adam shouted as he ran over to them, Aziraphale noticed Beez had set their coffee down as soon as Adam stepped out of the bedroom and now he knew why. Adam shot himself straight at them, wrapping his arms around them and almost tumbling them out of the chair. 

“Good morning munchkin,” Beez said with a light chuckle as they squeezed him back. They righted themselves in the chair and ruffled Adams' hair as he pulled away. Aziraphale saw their smile falter just a little when they got a look at the small scar forming on his lip. His eye was healing well, but the yellowish green of the bruise had not totally faded yet. Adam looked from Beez to Aziraphale and his smile grew.

“Are we still making scones and clotted cream for breakfast?” He asked and Aziraphale smiled and nodded his head. 

“Indeed we are,” he said as he stood and looked at Beez with a smile. “You’re welcome to help.”

“Ha!” Adam laughed as he shook his head. “Daddy says BeeBee isn’t allowed in the kitchen, they burn water.” He said and Aziraphale looked aghast until Beez started laughing and nodded their head. 

“Indeed, he’s right. I’ll just do some work on my mobile, check emails and stuff,” They said as they picked up their coffee and held the cup out towards Aziraphale in a sort of salute. “S’good coffee Aziraphale.”

“Thank you dear,” he said as he took Adam’s hand and they started talking about breakfast preparations. Beez watched them go with a satisfied smile, Adam loved him too; they could see it plain as day. Their boys were safe in this sweet man’s hands. Aziraphale didn't want them to go, and they were sure Crowley didn't want to go either, maybe they could help with that? They smiled to them-self as they pulled out their mobile and went to work. 

~*~One~*~

Crowley was leaning against the counter, his second cup of coffee warm in his hands as he stood there listening to Aziraphale prattle on about a musical he’d just seen. He was pretty sure he could be content listening to Aziraphale talk for the next 20 or 30 years. He could tell by the way Beez smiled at Zira that they’d had some kind of talk while he’d been in bed. He just hoped Beez hadn’t said anything too embarrassing. Adam and Beez were in the living room building something out of legos while Adam talked a mile a minute about the last week of living with Zira. Crowley was only half listening to Zira as he told him about the musical, Rent. Apparently he’d just seen it at the theater about a month ago. He’d seen Rent, the movie and live in a theater a number of years ago, so he didn't need to follow too closely as Zira told him the story line. 

Mostly he was watching the way Zira moved as he washed the dishes, or tried to wash them anyway. He was so animated as he told the story he ended up waving cups and forks in the air as he talked. He wiggled a little as he told him how much he loved the song ‘La Vi Boheme.’ That was Crowley’s favorite too which he found very amusing. He took a sip of his coffee with a small fond smile on his face. 

Then two things happened simultaneously; Crowley looked up from the sip he was taking just as Zira whipped around to face him, his hand going up in an arch, the back of his hand turned towards him. And for a moment all Crowley could see was a hand about to hit him. He flinched back so hard the mug slipped from his hands as Zira’s hand passed by him, at least a foot away. The sound of the mug crashing to the floor and shattering into a few pieces was deafening to Crowley as he closed his eyes and fought back the wave of shock and embarrassment. He pushed his hands back behind himself, bracing his weight on the counter.

“Dad?” Adam said, perking up at the sound. Aziraphale looked into the living room and met Beez’s eyes, his wide and remorseful and they looked to Crowley. All they could see was his back, but his shoulders were drawn up high and he was visibly shaking. 

“I’m...fine,” Crowley forced out and Beez stood up with a forced smile. They weren’t sure just what happened but they knew he wouldn’t want Adam to be around to see his panic attack.

“Hey kid didn't you tell me there was an ice-cream shop near here?” They asked and Adam jumped to his feet with a whoop. 

“Yes!” he said with a nod. “Dad is it okay?” He asked and Crowley pulled himself together just enough to nod his head as he swallowed hard. Beez grabbed Adams hand, then his shoes and was out the door in less than a minute, Adam chattering excitedly the whole way. As soon as the door closed behind them Crowley sank to the floor as if the bones in his body had been snapped away by magic. The few pieces of the broken mug were scattered in front of Crowley.

“Crowley, I’m so sorry my dear,” Aziraphale said as he knelt down in front of Crowley. He wanted to reach out and pull him close, gather him up in his arms until all his hurt melted away. But he wasn’t sure his touch would be welcome at the moment, so he held himself back.

“’S not your fault angel,” Crowley muttered softly. He didn't seem to be hyperventilating, but his breathing was a little stilted as he stared at his hands. “Is this what I’m going to be now? Broken?” He asked softly, not looking up to meet Aziraphale’s gaze. “I was fine, you were just telling me a story, and then suddenly...”

“You thought I was going to hit you,” Aziraphale finished for him softly and his head snapped up and he looked horrified. 

“No,” he said hurriedly, shaking his head. “No not you. I just, I saw your hand, coming towards me and I was back there... with her.” He told him, imploring him to understand that he didn't think Aziraphale was going to hurt him. “I know you’d never... ‘S not in your nature to hurt others.”

“Of course dear, I understand. And you are not broken Crowley,” he told him, purposefully keeping his eyes on him, not looking away. “You are healing, it takes time.” 

“I’d like to be done with that now, thanks,” Crowley muttered darkly as he looked down and saw the pieces of the mug. “I’m sorry I broke your mug.”

“Sod the mug Crowley,” Aziraphale said softly pulling a sharp chuckle from Crowley. He reached up and ran his hands over his face warily. 

“Could I…” He trailed off and Crowley looked up at him somberly. “Could I give you a hug?” He asked and Crowley felt his face tug up into a small smile as he nodded his head. Crowley could feel all the muscles in his back relax as Zira’s strong arms wrapped around him. It was slightly awkward with Zira still up on his feet, knelt in front of him, but it still felt amazing. It was warm and safe and Crowley took a long deep breath and let it out slowly, ruffling Zira’s hair a little.

“Have you...I don’t want to pry but…” Zira stammered a little and Crowley chuckled as Zira pulled back just a little.

“What?” He asked, smirking at the blush on Zira’s face.

“Have you thought about talking to someone, a therapist?” Zira asked and Crowley nodded his head as he cleared his throat.

“I er...I do, have a therapist I mean,” Crowley told him and Zira nodded his head. “I canceled my last appointment, but I have another one coming up.” He explained and Zira nodded his head. “I started seeing her after I left Micheal.” He went on and Zira shifted just a little, so he was sitting next to Crowley instead of kneeling in front of him. Neither of them said anything when Zira took his hand into his own as Crowley continued to talk.

“She’s been great, she’s texted a few times since...everything happened, checking in on me.” He told him and Aziraphale nodded his head as he listened. “But she strongly suggested I not cancel my next appointment.”

“I think she’s right dear,” Aziraphale told him with an understanding look. “She’ll be able to help you more than I,” He told him and Crowley scoffed just a little.

“Don’t sell yourself short angel, you’ve been amazing.” Crowley told him as he leaned his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder with a sigh. 

“You and Adam, it’s been amazing having you here, I'm glad I'm helping, in some small way.” Aziraphale told him and squeezed his hand and Crowley squeezed it back a bit harder.

“It’s not small Zira, it’s everything,” Crowley told him before they slipped into a very comfortable silence there on the kitchen floor.

~*~Two~*~

“So I’m going to stay here for a while,” Beez said later on that evening after Adam was in bed and Aziraphale was in the kitchen doing dishes. Crowley looked over at Zira over his cup of tea and raised an eyebrow.

“Why?” He asked, his voice was suspicious as they took a sip from their glass of wine.

“Because you pillock, you need me,” They told him and he smiled at them and nodded. “But, I need a place to stay, can’t stay with Dagon, since she’s in the middle of a messy divorce.” They said thoughtfully as they sipped their wine again. Dagon was probably their best friend, next to Crowley of course, they’d met at work after Beez had come to find Crowley. “What if I stayed at your place?”

“I only have two rooms, you’d be sleeping on the couch,” Crowley told them and they raised an eyebrow.

“Would I though?” They asked and Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“I can’t stay here forever Beez,” He said, his voice resigned before he took a sip of his tea.

“It’ll be a week still though, till you should be going back, at least” Aziraphale said, making Crowley jump just a little and Aziraphale smiled sheepishly at him. “Sorry dear, didn’t mean to sneak up on you two, or eavesdrop on your conversation.”

“I have to go home eventually angel,” Crowley said softly and Aziraphale nodded his head as he walked around the couch. He sat down on the couch next to Crowley with his own cup of tea.

“But by then I’ll have found my own place,” Beez said with a huge smile on their face. “I could even open the shop for you for a bit, I know how, I've done it before. Earn my keep and all.” They said before they looked over at Aziraphale with a smile.

“Zira, are you sure, I don’t want to overstay our welcome,” Crowley asked looking at him. He looked so much better than he had a week ago. His throat and eye were nothing more than fading green and yellow bruising now and his split lip was almost healed up, though he and Adam would have matching scars there, on opposite sides.

“Dear, you are welcome here, whenever, for however long you like,” Aziraphale said with such sincerity that Crowley had to look away or risk tears. 

“Okay Beez, you can stay at our place, for a week, then Adam and I are going back and we’ll find you a place,” He told them, his voice was fierce as he nodded his head. Beez watched the way Aziraphale's face fell just a little at his words and they smiled to them-self. They wouldn’t be surprised if Crowley and Adam lived here someday, if not now, soon. This was where they both belonged, here with Zira, and they were going to do whatever they could to help their big brother see that.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me so happy, so drop me a line! Hope everyone is doing well through all this craziness right now! :-)


	6. Taking Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley sees his therapist and opens up to her a bit about how he's feeling. Zira has a nightmare that changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Finally have a computer again! Yay! I hope you like this chapter! These silly boys are fianlly taking a step forward! Have fun!

Two days later Aziraphale was driving Crowley to his therapist appointment. Crowley had tried to tell him he could drive himself, but Zira was having none of it. His ribs may be feeling better but there was no reason to try to do too much, too soon. Beez had come back to Aziraphale’s flat to watch Adam, since he’d be waiting for Crowley to finish his appointment so he could take him home too.

“I could just take the tube home,” Crowley said and Aziraphale tried not to smile too brightly at the word ‘home.’ He knew Crowley didn’t mean it the way Aziraphale wished he did. 

“Nonsense, I brought a very good book, I’ll be fine Crowley,” he said and Crowley rolled his eyes and Aziraphale just smiled. 

“Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, their waiting room chairs are the worst.” he told him and Aziraphale chuckled and nodded his head.

“Warning noted dear, thank you.” He said with a smug look on his face as they pulled into the parking garage under the therapist’s office. He parked and grabbed his book as they stepped out. Crowley relished the mostly pain free movements and Zira flashed him a beatific smile. Crowley was pretty sure he could live off those smiles, what did he need water or food for? He could drink in that look and never need anything else.

“I’m so happy to see you healing so well,” Zira said, rubbing his arm softly before he dropped his hand and clasped his book in front of his stomach. The casual touching had gone up a notch, on both their parts, since Crowley had had his minor breakdown on Aziraphale’s kitchen floor. He was trying not to read too much into it, but every time their skin touched he felt a jolt to the heart.

“Yeah, won't be running a marathon any time soon, but I can do this,” Crowley said and raised both his arms above his head with a huge smile. Aziraphale looked at him with an excited little smile and nodded.

“Well done my dear,” Aziraphale exclaimed like he  _ had _ just run a marathon. Crowley’s face lit up at the encouragement and Zira wished he could reach over and take Crowley's hand into his, squeeze it reassuringly. He knew physical healing was going to go a lot faster than the mental healing, but he was glad that Crowley was letting him help on both fronts. 

They walked the rest of the way into the office together in silence, but Crowley didn’t mind, it was never awkward or strained with Zira, normally he always felt like he needed to fill empty silences, but with Zira he could just...be. They took seats next to each other and Crowley leaned his head back against the wall and took a deep breath. 

“Are you okay my dear?” Zira asked and Crowley let the breath out slowly and nodded his head. 

“Yeah I'm good angel,” Crowley said with a small smile. Zira’s eyes still looked a little worried and Crowley chuckled a little. “Okay fine, I’m a little nervous, not really sure why.” It was only a small lie, he knew one of the things he wanted to talk to her about was making him nervous.

“Crowley, Tracy will see you in about 5 minutes,” The receptionist said with a smile and Crowley nodded. 

“Last chance angel, if you head out now you could be home in time for a cup of tea so you could read in your comfy chair.” Crowley said, only half joking. He was a little afraid he was going to be a mess after this appointment and he didn’t think Zira should have to keep cleaning up his emotional messes.

“Crowley, I’m only going home now if you want me to, do you?” He asked, his voice so earnest there was no way Crowley could lie to him. Of course he didn’t want Zira to leave, as selfish as it was. “It’s not selfish to want me here, if you think you might need comfort after this,” Aziraphale told him and his mouth dropped open just a little.

“You readin’ my mind angel?” Crowley asked and Zira raised an eyebrow and Crowley shook his head, finally conceding to him. “I want you to stay.”

“Splendid,” Zira said cheerfully as he wiggled just a little in the chair. That little wiggle did things to Crowley, things he probably shouldn’t be thinking about right before going in to talk to his 56 year old therapist. “Thank you, for allowing me to be here for you.”

“Angel,” Crowley said with a soft smile as he looked at him. He wanted to say so much, how he didn’t need to be thankful, that it was Crowley who was thankful. That he still couldn’t believe his stupid luck at having found him again. That all he really wanted to do was wrap him in a warm hug and never let go. But part of him still felt unworthy, broken in the worst way, and he didn’t want to drag Zira into that.

Zira must have read some of that on his face because he opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the receptionist opening the door and calling out for Crowley.

“Tracey is ready for you Crowley dear,” She told him and he bristled just a little at the endearment, only Zira should call him that. Zira misread the bristling and ran a hand down his arm.

“I’ll be here waiting dearest,” he said and Crowley’s eyes went wide and he gave Zira a half smile before he stood and Zira’s hand fell away.

“Thanks angel,” he said with a wink before he turned and followed the receptionist through the door. Aziraphale opened his book and took a deep breath as he began to read, well, he tried to read anyway.

~*~One~*~

Tracy Shadwell, or Madam Tracy as many of her patients called her, was 56 and had been doing this for the better part of 20 years. She loved to tell stories of the dominatrix work she did to put herself through college. She was spirited and spunky and Crowley had loved her within 20 minutes of their first session. She was never fake or condescending. She didn't ask things like ‘How are you coping?’ or ‘And how does that make you feel?’ She was real, she was just the kind of person Crowley could open up to. 

“Hello Crowley,” She said as he stepped into the room. It was a warm room, with a small fireplace set in the back, it was unlit as it was still relatively warm outside. There were bookshelves lining one wall and two chairs sitting in front of the fire. “Tea?” She asked holding up the pot she’d just brewed for them. He smiled and nodded as he headed for ‘his’ chair and sprawled into it. 

“Evening Tracy,” he said as she walked towards him with their cups. She set them down on the table between them and then sighed.

“Your poor hair,” She said as she ruffled his hair lightly. Tracy was unlike any therapist he’d ever heard of, she wasn’t at all opposed to touching, as long as the patient didn’t mind. There had been more than one occasion where she’d held his hand while he cried. 

“I know, I’m going to have to get it cut,” he bemused with a put on sigh and she chuckled. 

“You poor dear,” She said and noticed that he flinched just a little at the moniker, which he’d never done before. “How is Adam getting along?” She asked knowing he had a much easier time talking about his son, at the beginning of their sessions.

“He’s doing great Tracy,” He told her as he picked up his tea. “Zira has been teaching him to cook.” He told her and she nodded her head. She also was different in that she didn’t take notes, at least not with a pen and paper, she somehow seemed to file them away in her head. 

“Yes, you’ve told me a little about Zira before.” She said as she too picked up her tea. “What’s it been like, having him come back into your life at such an odd time?” She asked and he flicked his eyes up at her then snorted and shook his head.

“Weird, wonderful, confusing,” He listed out just a few of the things he was feeling about Zira being back in his life. She nodded her head and took a sip of her tea. 

“Why confusing?” She asked and he raised an eyebrow at her and she chuckled. “Come on Crowley, I have to at least pretend to be the therapist here,” She said, raising her arms to encompass the room. He sighed and took a sip of his tea then set the cup down.

“It’s confusing because I’m still bloody in love with him.” he said and then suddenly he was standing. He very rarely sat through a whole session, normally he ended up pacing around the room. “He’s amazing, he took us in like it had been 10 days since the last time I saw him, not ten years. He treats Adam like… damn it, he treats him like he would his own son. Adam loves him, he’s crazy about him.” Crowley ranted and Tracy just sat there and let him. She could already see where this was going, but she knew he’d need to get there himself before they could talk about it.

“Gets up with him every morning to make breakfast, then they open the door to wake me, every morning. I wake up to giggling and the scents of coffee and food. He bought him a bed, a cute little bed with pirate ship blankets and a pillow shaped like a pirate flag!” 

“Why did he buy him a bed?” She asked and he looked over at her and his face fell a little.

“Adam slept with me, that first night at Zira’s and I… I had a pretty bad nightmare. I could have hurt him.” Crowley told her and she nodded and he winced a little at the memory. “Zira wanted to help, so he ordered him a bed, so we could stay while I healed.”

“Did he over step?” Tracy asked and Crowley shook his head then ran his hands through his hair. 

“No, god no,” He told her as he finally started pacing the room. When he paced he touched  _ everything _ . Anything not nailed down ended up in his hands while he talked. “It was sweet, I was so touched. It’s amazing to know he wanted us there so much that he spent money on a bed for Adam. A boy he’d only just met.” He set down the little clear glass globe and turned to look at her. “And it wasn’t one of those ‘treat the kid good to get in my good graces’ kinda thing either. He was genuinely worried about Adam. You can’t fake that kinda thing.” She nodded her head and sipped her tea. She knew full well people could, and  _ did _ , fake that kind of thing all the time, but she also knew Crowley. He’d be able to tell a bullshit move like that from a mile away, even when it came to someone he’d loved for most of his life. 

“So you’re confused because you don’t know how he feels?” She asked and he went back to his pacing. He picked up a pen off her desk and twirled it between his fingers.

“A little,” He said with a nonchalant shrug that was anything but. “I think maybe; Beez says they think he's… how did they put it? Arse over teakettle for me, but what do they know?” He demanded as he set the pen back down. “And it’s been great, being there has been amazing but…” he trailed off and Tracy waited, they were getting there now.

“But what Crowley?” She asked and his head jerked up to look at her. 

“Well, I mean, we have to go home sometime, you know?” He told her as he pushed off her desk and stalked over to the bookcases. He picked up a book and flipped through the pages before putting it back.

“Why’s that?” She asked and he rolled his eyes at her. 

“Well he’ll get tired of having us underfoot eventually,” he said and she set her tea down, there it was. 

“These don’t sound like the actions of someone who’s getting tired of ‘having you underfoot’” She said and he shook his head as he walked over and plopped back into his seat and took a drink of his tea. 

“This needs whiskey,” he grumbled, and she rolled her eyes with a smirk. “I know, no whiskey during session,” he said with a woeful groan. 

“Crowley,” She chided him and he sighed again. “Why do you think he’ll get tired of you?” She asked and he slumped down in his seat and ran his hand over his face.

“Because, everyone does, don’t they?” he asked quietly and she took a deep breath. The fact that Crowley counted his abandonment by his parents and the pain Micheal had caused him as them ‘getting tired of him’ hurt Tracy. She knew logicly she wasn’t supposed to get invested, emotionally, but something about Crowley tugged at her heart. 

“Crowley, whose fault was it that your parents couldn’t accept you?” She asked and he slumped a little farther into his chair. This was something they’d gone over a few times. She knew it wasn’t strictly ‘on topic’ but she felt like he needed to hear himself say it again. 

“Theirs,” he admitted and she nodded her head. She knew this part was hard for him. Taking on the blame of others was hardwired into him.

“And whose fault was it that Micheal couldn’t trust you, when you’d done nothing to warrant that mistrust?” She asked and he took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter. 

“Hers,” he said, his voice a little more confident now. 

“And who's to blame for the fact that she hit you, hit Adam and brought her brother to your flat to hurt you and take Adam?” She asked and he nodded his head.

“Hers,” he said, again a little stronger than before. 

“People do not ‘get tired’ of you Crowley.” She told him as he stared at her. “You just got cursed with shite parents and then found love only to have it ripped away when you bared your truth to that person. You are a wonderful person.” She told him, and he chuckled, which he always did when she swore, and why she continued to do it. “And it sounds like Zira sees that.”

“Is it...too soon?” He asked and she smiled at him and picked up her tea.

“Too soon for what Crowley?” She asked and he sighed and rolled his eyes. Of course she knew what he was asking, but wanted him to say it. 

“Too soon to...want to be with someone else,” he asked and she smirked at him and tilted her head. 

“As much as I hate to be the cliche therapist, I’m going to have to be. What do you think Crowley?” She asked and he gave a much put on groan and slumped back in his chair dramatically.

~*~Two~*~

Aziraphale looked up an hour later when the door opened again and Crowley stepped out and he was...smiling. He looked happy, like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Aziraphale closed his book and stood up and watched as an older woman stepped out behind him with a smile. 

“Sorry angel, I couldn’t stop her,” Crowley said by way of greeting and he looked over his shoulder at her. “This is Madam Tracy,” he said and she smiled at him, her eyes bright with excitement. 

“It’s so good to finally meet you Zira,” She said holding out her hand. He smiled back and reached out and shook her hand. 

“Lovely to meet you as well,” He told her while Crowley watched them. He wasn’t really sure what to say now. Inquiring how things went seemed, wrong. 

“Okay,” Crowley said when Aziraphale stepped back. “Gotta get back to Adam and Beez, see how bad the sugar coma is.” he joked and Tracy smiled and nodded her head with a chuckle. SHe looked between him and Aziraphale and then turned back to him. 

“Will you be bringing Adam with you next time?” She asked and Crowley nodded his head with a small smile. 

“Yes, he was disappointed he couldn’t come this time,” Crowley told her and she smiled. 

“Well, I look forward to seeing you both next week then,” She said with a nod at Aziraphale before she stepped back over and opened the door and stepped through. 

“Let’s head home angel,” Crowley said and again Aziraphale's heart jumped at the word. 

“Yes, I was thinking we could pick up some Italian food on the way,” he suggested and Crowley nodded his head. Though his smile had faded a little he still looked much lighter than he had when he’d gone in. 

“That sounds great, I’m starving,” Crowley told him as he stepped over and opened the door for him. As they walked down the hall towards the elevators Aziraphale felt something brush his hand, he realized it was Crowley’s only a moment before Crowley reached out and took his hand in his. Aziraphale looked down at their fingers, twined together, but didn’t say anything. Crowley was staring straight at the elevator doors and Aziraphale took a deep breath. 

“This okay angel?” Crowley all but whispered without looking at him. Aziraphale squeezed his hand tightly in his.

“More then,” he assured him and Crowley finally looked over at him and smiled brightly again as the elevator dinged and the doors opened so they could step in.

~*~Three~*~

“Hey, Beez says not to get dinner,” Crowley told Aziraphale as they drove towards their favorite Italian place. He put his mobile back in his pocket and looked up to see the confused look on Zira’s face. “They said They already ordered something,” He explained and Zira nodded with a small smile. 

“Ah, well I guess we’ll do Italian another night then,” Aziraphale reasoned as he changed lanes so he could turn the other way.

“Sounds good,” Crowley agreed as he leaned back in his seat and thought over everything he’d talked to Tracy about. “Maybe…” he trailed off and cleared his throat. He was looking down at his hands, but could see that Zira looked over at him for just a moment before turning back to the road. “Maybe we could go out to eat, when we go?” He asked, finally looking up at Aziraphale, he had a smile on his face as he nodded.

“I think that would be wonderful dear,” he agreed as he turned towards his flat. “I’m sure Adam would love that.”

“Actually I was wondering...if you’d like...maybe it could be...I mean it's fine if you don’t but…” he trailed off again and looked out the window for a moment then jerked just a little when Zira’s hand closed around his and squeezed. “Maybe we could go, just the two of us?” Crowley finally got out while risking a peek at Zira. His cheeks were a little flushed and the smile on his face could have lit all of London.

“Crowley,” Aziraphale murmured with a deep affection filling his voice. “My dear, it would be my pleasure.” He finally said and Crowley nodded his head with a sigh and flashed him a huge smile too. 

“Good, that's good. That’s great, it's a…” he trailed off again and Zira squeezed his hand.

“It’s a date,” Zira finished for him, meeting his eyes for just a moment. 

“Cool,” Crowley breathed, making Zira laugh as he squeezed his hand again. 

“Cool indeed my dear,” Aziraphale told him as they pulled up outside the bookstore and parked. 

“That’s weird, I don’t see Beez car,” Crowley said as they both stepped out and looked around.

“Maybe they moved it or had to pick up the food?” Aziraphale said as they walked up to his flat. They both stopped at the front door when they saw a note taped to the door. 

_ Dinner will be there at 6. I already feed the munchkin, taking him to the cinema. Enjoy!  _

Crowley pulled the note off the door as a blush colored his cheeks. Aziraphale chuckled as he pulled out his keys and opened the door. He looked up at the clock on the wall and smiled. Beez had timed it perfectly, dinner would arrive in about ten minutes. __

“Shall I open a bottle of wine?” Aziraphale asked as they both took off their jackets and shoes, or boots in Crowley’s case. 

“Don’t know what Beez ordered, what if it's the wrong wine?” Crowley teased as he followed him into the kitchen.

“I’ll risk it,” Aziraphale told him with a smirk and Crowley chuckled. “A red perhaps?”

“Sounds great angel,” Crowley told him as he pulled himself up on the kitchen counter. Zira busied himself with pulling out a bottle and pouring them each a glass. 

“I…” Now Zira trailed off as he handed Crowley his glass. “I want to ask you how your session went, but I’m not sure if that's an appropriate question.” he finally said and Crowley smiled fondly at him as he took a sip. 

“It’s fine angel,” Crowley told him. “Tracy is great, I’m lucky I found her when I did. And it went well, I worked out something that's been weighing on my mind for a bit.” he told him, mildly vague, but he knew Zira hadn’t meant specifics anyway.

“Oh I’m so glad to hear that dear,” Zira told him with a bright smile. “Now get down off the counter, you are not a child.” He told him with absolutely no bite to the words at all and Crowley laughed as he jumped down then winced just a little. 

“Are you alright?” Zira asked, putting his hand on Crowley’s arm. 

“Fine, just, you know, forgot.” He told him and Aziraphale nodded his head. Crowley tried not to think about the fact that Zira hadn’t dropped his hand off his arm.

“Do you need any pain medicine?” Zira asked and Crowley shook his head and took a small step towards him. 

“No, it’s fine. Just twinged for a moment.” He reassured him as his eyes flicked down to his lips and then looked back up to meet his eyes. “There's no pain now.” he told him softly and Zira nodded his head, though his eyes didn’t leave Crowley’s.

“I’m glad dear,” he said before he licked his lips. “Perhaps you should sit?” He suggested softly and Crowley shook his head.

“I’m good,” he said just as softly. They stood there like that for a long moment, neither moving. Zira started rubbing small circles in his arm where he was still holding him and Crowley swallowed hard. Yep, okay, he was going to kiss him. He closed the space between them with another very small step and angled his head just a fraction before he started to lean in towards him.

_ ‘BUZZ!’ _

They both jumped just a little as the door buzzer went off and Aziraphale closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. After a moment he released Crowley’s arm and stepped back.

“That’ll be dinner,” He said and Crowley was sure he wasn’t imagining the regret in his voice. 

“Yep,” Crowley agreed before the door buzzed again and Zira sighed. He stepped around Crowley and set his wine down. 

“Yes, yes, I hear you,” He said though no one but Crowley could hear him. Crowley cursed softly as soon as Zira’s back was to him. Damn, that was so close to perfect. Well, it was probably for the better anyway. They should really talk before they jump into snogging in the kitchen.

~*~Four~*~

Crowley woke up slowly and blinked his eyes a few times as he yawned. It was still dark in the room which meant it was still the middle of the night. He laid there silently for a moment and listened. He’d been almost positive that a cry had woken him. He looked over towards Adams' bed, but he was sleeping peacefully, his stuffed lizard and dog safely in his arms. He heard it again then as he sat up slowly. It was coming from outside his room. He shifted his legs out of the bed and stood up. Someone yelled out and he dashed to his door and walked out into the living room.

“Crowley!” His head shot towards Zira’s room at the panicked call and he dashed to his open door and stepped into the room. He closed the door behind him softly, so Zira didn't wake Adam if he yelled again then looked at him. He was twisted up in his sheet, his arms flailing around as he seemed to fight off an invisible foe. He rushed over to the bed and crawled onto the empty side and looked down at him. His face was pinched with worry and fear and it made something in Crowley’s stomach twist painfully.

“Zira,” he said softly, he wanted to touch him, but he remembered what Zira had told him about waking someone in the throes of a nightmare, so he kept his hands on his folded knees. “Zira wake up.”

“Crowley,” he whined, his voice tinged with tears and Crowley winced. 

“Please don’t cry angel, please, wake up,” Crowley said and finally Zira stopped thrashing and stilled. “I’m here Zira, I’m here.”

“Crowley!” Zira shot up in bed, his eyes wide with fear as he looked over at Crowley. “Oh thank god,” he muttered a second before he launched himself across the bed and wrapped his arms around Crowley’s shoulders, he pulled him to his chest, and Crowley went willingly, throwing one leg over his thighs so he was straddling him just above the knees. “You’re okay,” he murmured into Crowley’s hair as he took a deep breath. Crowley wrapped his own arms around Zira, burying his face in Zira’s neck and just held on as Zira started to rock them back and forth a bit. 

“I’m fine Zira,” he reassured him softly as he ran his hands up and down his back, his voice muffled just a little in his neck. They had never been this close before and Crowley loved it, though he could have done without the nightmare bringing it about. “I’m fine and I’m safe.”

They sat like that for a few moments, Zira rocking them back and forth as his hand ran through Crowley’s long hair, almost petting it. He finally took a deep shuddering breath and loosened his hold on Crowley. He was reluctant to lose the embrace though, so he didn't pull too far away from Zira. Crowley looked up at him and pulled one arm back and wiped away the tears on his face with his thumb. Zira’s cheeks were flushed and Crowley couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or the crying. He had a desperate urge to lean in and kiss him, to wipe out whatever nightmare he’d been having, but he didn't figure now was a good time to be rebuffed, so he just smiled softly at him. 

“You okay?” Crowley finally whispered and Zira sighed then took a deep breath and nodded. 

“Yes, I’m terribly sorry I woke you dear,” he said running his thumb up and down the back of Crowley’s neck, making his heart race just a bit.

“’S no big deal angel,” Crowley said finally with a little half smile. “Not like I haven’t done it to you,” he said with a wry wink causing Zira to chuckle just a little with a nod. “Do you...do you wanna tell me about it?” Zira slumped just a little and cleared his throat and then nodded. 

“I was...I was in your flat, trying to get to you as a huge shadowy figure...” He took another breath and Crowley squeezed his shoulder. “While it pounded your head into the floor. I seemed to be stuck behind some kind of invisible wall. I pounded on it and called for you, but I couldn’t get through. And I could see Adam crying as-” His voice hitched as a few tears leaked free from his eyes and he bit his lip. 

“It's okay angel, we’re both fine.” Crowley said and Zira nodded then leaned forward and rested his forehead against his. 

“I just... I can’t lose you again, not after I just got you back.” He whispered and Crowley sucked in a breath and bit his lip.

“I’m not going anywhere, I swear Zira, you’re stuck with me now, and Adam. I swear angel,” he said earnestly and Zira sighed softly before he took another jittering breath. He pulled back just a little and stared at him, his eyes a little red and an uncertain look on his face. Oh god Crowley wanted to kiss him so badly. He was ready, he knew he was ready, the only question now was, was Zira?

“Crowley,” Zira breathed the word as he stared at him. Crowley was only a little surprised now by the feelings in his eyes. The hope, the want, the...love that shown in his eyes was all consuming. There was a deep longing there that all but took Crowley’s breath away. He didn't think he’d ever been looked at like that before, like he was worth everything to this amazing person sitting in front of him.

“It’s okay angel,” he whispered back, trying to keep his voice even. “I’m not going to break.” He told him pulling his hand back from his neck to cup his cheek. 

“I just don’t want you to regret-

“I could never regret you, angel, never,” Crowley told him softly, running his thumb over the apple of his cheek. Zira stared into his eyes for a long drawn out moment, and just as Crowley had decided he wasn’t going to kiss him; as he started to pull his hand away, Zira leaned forward and gently kissed him. He tasted a little of tears, but also of the wine they’d had that night and Crowley leaned into it. Zira dragged his hands down Crowley’s back causing a full body shiver to run through him.

Crowley was thinking about testing the boundaries of this kiss when Zira surprised him even further and ran his tongue along his bottom lip causing him to moan softly into the kiss. 

Crowley let him deepen the kiss and delighted in the soft groan that slipped from Zira as they kissed. It was everything he’d ever imagined kissing Zira would be. He was so soft, his hands grasping him lightly at his hips and Crowley allowed the hand not currently buried in Zira’s hair to drift down, sweeping up and down his side. Zira was the first to pull away, but he didn't go far as they both breathed heavily. 

“Wow,” Crowley said softly and Zira chuckled and raised his hands again and pulled him into a hard hug.

“I don’t know...” Zira mumbled into his shoulder. “I don’t know if it’s too early Crowley but...” he trailed off again and loosened his hold a little so Crowley sat back again. 

“What is it angel?” Crowley asked softly, running his hand through Zira's hair. 

“I should wait, I should give you time Crowley, you're still-

“Aziraphale,” Crowley said sternly and his eyes went wide. Crowley never used his whole name, he could probably count on one hand all the times he’d heard Crowley say it. “If you finish that sentence how I think you're going to, I'm going to be very cross.” 

“I don’t want to take advantage,” Aziraphale told him softly and Crowley took a deep breath and shook his head. 

“You could never angel,” Crowley assured him softly cupping his cheek. “You’re amazing.” Crowley took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he bit his bottom lip. “I looked for you for so long. Even when… Even when I was with Micheal, I didn’t stop looking for you. You’re my best friend Zira. And if this is something you want too… If you feel anything close to what-

“I love you,” Zira told him, cutting him off and Crowley’s eyes went wide before a slow smile spread across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'd say I'm sorry about the mild cliffhanger, but I'm really not... sooooo... Hope you enjoyed this! Drop me a line, I love hearing from the readers! Oh, and if anyone is interested in doing any art (Drawing or podfic) I'm totally open to that. Just let me know so I can hear/see it! :-) 
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell at me on [tumbler](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/saunteringfromgrace) about my story or just Good Omens in general I'd love to chat!


	7. In this Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale take a large step forward in the relationship. It seems they couldn't be happier, but trouble is lurking just around the corner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take note that I have changed the rating on this story. It isn't terribly explicit but there is a sex scene at the very beginning of this chapter. If you'd prefer to skip it, just scroll down to ~*~One~*~ and you will be past it. :-)

“You love me?” Crowley whispered reverently. He could feel the tears stinging his eyes as Zira gazed at him, a small smile on his face.

“Oh Crowley, yes,” Zira said, reaching up to cup his face in both hands. He ran his thumbs under his eyes, wiping the tears away that had slipped free. “For...a very long time now dearest.” Crowley took a deep breath then swiftly leaned down and captured Zira’s lips in a heated kiss. Zira’s hands pushed up into his hair and pulled, dragging a deep throated moan from Crowley. He pulled away, but didn’t stop kissing him. Crowley trailed open mouth kisses down his neck, scraping his teeth lightly over the unbelievably soft skin of his throat. He inched his legs up, pushing their chests together so he was no longer leaning into Zira but towering over him a bit as they kissed. Their hips slotted together like they belonged that way and Crowley could feel the hard press of Zira through their pajama bottoms. He sucked hard on a spot just under Zira’s ear and his hips bucked up into him and Crowley tore his mouth away from Zira’s neck at the sensations that flooded through him.

“Oh god, oh Zira,” he moaned as he rolled his hips into Zira’s making the other man moan as well. He worked his hands under Zira’s shirt, he needed to touch him, but he seemed unable to stop in one spot as he explored his chest. “Zira,” he panted as he leaned back down to kiss him. “Is this okay?” He asked in-between kisses and nips on lips.

“Yes, yes, don’t... don’t stop,” he told him his breath coming in short puffs now. He scratched his nails lightly across Crowley’s scalp then grasped his hair again and pulled and Crowley practically growled as their bodies rolled together and Zira keened.

“Fuck Zira,” Crowley growled as he looked down at him. Zira was a little shocked by the obscene language, but he had to admit it was very arousing. “Gods you’re beautiful,” Crowley told him as they moved together. Zira’s eyes went wide then he released his hair and reached down with both hands and tugged on Crowley’s shirt and Crowley raised his arms and the shirt disappeared over the edge of the bed. Then he had one hand back in Crowley’s hair while the other explored his chest and stomach. 

“Oh...Crowley...Oh...” Zira dragged the word out as their momentum became frantic and Zira moved his hips faster, he trailed his hand across Crowley’s chest, rubbing one of his nipples between his fingers making Crowley moan before he worked his way farther down then he reached around and grasped his arse tightly. Zira was getting close, Crowley could tell, and nothing had ever been as hot as watching his angel fall apart in his arms.

“That’s it Angel,” Crowley groaned feeling his own peak approaching as Zira squeezed both his arse and tightened his hold on his hair. “Fuck, you are so hot; all worked up for me Angel.” He’d dreamed of this moment, for years, and nothing could compare to having his angel under him, making the sweetest sounds, his face contorted in blinding pleasure.

“Crowley...oh... I’m...” he trailed off and Crowley nodded his head as much as he could with Zira’s grip on his hair and rolled his hips just a little faster.

“That’s right Angel,” Crowley groaned out holding back, he refused to fall till Zira did. “Come for me, I wanna see your face.” He told him and Zira’s hips bucked up and his head pushed into the headboard as his back arched.

“Crowley,” he moaned out as he came, his fingers digging into Crowley’s arse, his nails biting into his flesh, pushing him over the edge just behind him.

“Angel!” he shouted as he came, his hips bucking into Zira’s as the waves of pleasure flowed over both of them. Crowley melted into him as he came down for the euphoric feelings coursing through his body. He laid there for a few moments as they both caught their breath before something occurred to him and he shot up. Zira had a hazy smile on his face, his eyes half open, like he was moments away from falling asleep.

“I love you too!” Crowley blurted in a rush and Zira’s eyes popped back open. “I just...realized I hadn’t said it when… I love you too.” he said a little softer this time and Zira chuckled and pulled him back down against him in a tight hug. 

“Wonderful,” He murmured into his neck. They sat like that for a few minutes before they both became aware of the fact that they were a bit of a sticky mess.

“We should shower dear, and then get you back to bed.” Aziraphale told him and Crowley nodded as he sat back a little. 

“Can I stay here?” He asked and Aziraphale's eyes went soft as he stared at him and nodded once.

“Forever my dear,” he told him and Crowley was pretty sure he was talking about more than just staying the night in his bed.

~*~One~*~

Aziraphale came awake slowly and wondered why he was so bloody warm. There was heat on both sides of him. He opened his eyes slowly as the events of the night before came rushing back to him. Well, that explained one of the warm weights laying next to him. He looked to his left and found Adam curled up next to him, asleep, dog and lizard in his arms. He was suddenly very thankful he’d insisted they get dressed and had found a pair of sweats for Crowley. Adam shifted and then yawned as his eyes blinked open.

“Did you have a bad dream dear one?” Aziraphale asked softly and Adam shook his head.

“No,” He said, his voice just as soft. “Just woke up and daddy was gone. Did he have another bad dream?” He asked in a slightly worried tone.

“No dear heart, he came in because I was having a bad dream,” He told him truthfully and Adam nodded his head. “He stayed to comfort me. I’m sorry if we worried you big man.”

“It’s okay, Daddy is good at chasing the bad dreams away,” Adam said and Aziraphale thought about the way Crowley had chased away the bad dreams and had to fight a blush.

“He is indeed,” he finally said and Adam smiled.

“Do you love my daddy?” he asked softly with a knowing look on his face and Aziraphale's eyes went a little wide. Really children saw way more than adults gave them credit for. 

“Adam, I love your daddy so much,” Aziraphale told him after a moment, truth, this small brave boy deserved truth. “You know who else I love a great deal?” he asked and Adam shook his head slowly, a curious look on his face. “You dear heart, I love you a great deal.” 

“Really?” Adam asked with wonder in his voice. “Cause I love you too Zira. You’re the best, you know, next to daddy. I love cooking with you and building with you, and I love the silly stories you tell.”

“I’m so glad to hear that dear boy,” Aziraphale said as he wound an arm around his shoulders. He heard sniffling at his back and smiled fondly wondering when, during that, Crowley had woken up. “Should we see if your daddy would like to help with breakfast this morning?” He asked and Adam nodded his head and they both turned to look down at Crowley. He slowly shifted onto his back and looked up at the two of them. His eyes were wet from tears and he had a breathtakingly sweet smile on his face. 

“Morning daddy!” Adam said happily and Crowley took a deep breath.

“Morning kiddo,” he said smiling when Adam climbed over Zira so he could slide in between them. He wiggled down into the spot before he smiled contently. “Since we’re all baring our hearts here, I think you should know buddy, that I love Zira too, very much.” Adam looked up at him and tilted his head and raised an eyebrow in a way that strongly reminded Aziraphale of his daddy.

“Duh,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world to him and both adults laughed. Crowley pulled him into a tight hug and kissed his head. 

“So that's okay with you?” he asked and Adam nodded his head enthusiastically. 

“Yeah daddy, Zira’s great,” he agreed before he looked between the two of them. “Will you get married now?” He asked and both men blanched and met each other's eyes over his head before they both started laughing again. Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley and by extension, Adam.

“Someday, perhaps, if that’s something your daddy wants,” Aziraphale finally said and Crowley felt his heart swoop just a little at the words. 

“Someday,” he agreed with a decisive nod. “Okay, I know I heard talk of making breakfast? Why don’t you show me how that's done kiddo?”

~*~Two~*~

“So Beez has been opening the shop the last few days,” Crowley said as they washed the breakfast dishes together. Adam was playing in the living room and watching cartoons. “Anathema has been going in on her regular shifts. Things are going well there.”

“Oh I’m glad to hear that dear,” Zira said as he handed him a glass. “Will you...be going back to work soon then?” 

“I really should, and besides you need to be able to open your shop too,” Crowley told him and Aziraphale nodded his head and bit his lip. He wondered if he should tell him how unnecessary that really was. That he had enough laid by to not work another day for a year. 

“Please don’t rush back because you're worried about me dear,” He said turning off the faucet and turning to look at him. “I’ve got money saved, enough that I don't have to worry about opening for a bit still.”

“I don’t want you to have to eat into your savings,” Crowley told him and Aziraphale smiled and took his hand. 

“Crowley, I could never open the shop again and get on just fine.” He said and Crowley raised an eyebrow. “I’m not rich, by any means, but the shop isn’t where I make my money.” He said as he set about making tea for them.

“How do you make your money then, if you don’t mind my asking?” Crowley asked as he leaned against the counter. Zira turned and gave him a fond look.

“You may ask me anything you wish love,” he said and Crowley felt his heart beat pick up at that endearment. That he would express it so freely now made Crowley want to snog him senseless in the kitchen. Zira had turned back to their tea while Crowley stared at him in wonder. “And to answer your question, I find very rare books, mostly first editions, sometimes family heirlooms that have been lost or stolen. People pay very well to get what they’re looking for.” He turned to look at Crowley to find him staring at him with his head tilted to the side. 

“Why have the shop at all then?” He finally asked and Aziraphale chuckled then shrugged his shoulders. 

“It’s something to do when I’m not working on finding something, and I must say I’m quite good at dissuading people from purchasing books that I don’t want to sell.” Aziraphale said and Crowley threw back his head and laughed.

“Oh angel, I’m fairly certain that's not how a bookshop is supposed to work,” Crowley told him and Aziraphale chuckled again and nodded. 

“So you see, if you’re not ready to go back, there's no rush.” He stepped up to him and took his hands. “But if you are ready to go back to work, but you’d rather not go back to your flat you’re welcome to stay here.” 

“Zira, we’ve been here for 3 weeks now, you must be getting a little sick of having us underfoot.” Crowley said and Aziraphale's face went fierce as he stared at Crowley. After a moment the look softened and he shook his head.

“Crowley, I have never been so happy as I have the last three weeks.” He told him, his voice held nothing but honesty and Crowley was a little taken back. “If there was some way to convince you to never go back to your flat I’d do it.” Crowley swallowed hard at the words and took a deep breath. Wow, that was a lot. The honesty in his words were not lost on Crowley. 

“Don’t...don’t you think it’s a bit soon to move in together?” he asked, trying to make a bit of a joke out of it, giving him a half smile, and failing miserably at it. Aziraphale’s eyes went wide as he dropped his hand and he took a step back and nodded. 

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry dear. I don’t mean to make you feel rushed,” he quickly told him and Crowley huffed and stepped towards him. 

“I was just...never mind.” he said, reaching out and taking his hand into his again. “I think I’m going to go back to work on Monday, that's two days away. And as for staying, why don’t we play that by ear?” He asked and leaned in and kissed him before he could open his mouth and respond. 

~*~Three~*~

**Beez-** _ Coming over around 5, that cool? _

“Angel, do you mind if Beez comes over?” Crowley asked as he read over their message. Aziraphale looked up from the lego monster Adam was teaching him to make and smiled. They were all sitting at the coffee table, Adam on one side and Crowley and Zira on the other, everyone was on the floor and Adam was having a grand time.

“Of course not, they are welcome any time.” He assured him with a bright smile before Adam pulled his attention back down to the legos.

**Crowley-** _ Cool, what for? _

Crowley set his mobile down on the table and joined in on the fun. Adam was walking the two of them through a few lego creations he’d mastered. He liked to look instructions up online and then build them. He was getting better and better at it too. He no longer  _ needed  _ Crowley’s help, but he still asked for it. Crowley wasn’t sure which of them he was trying to reassure with that act, but it made him smile nonetheless. Crowley picked up his mobile again when it buzzed then rolled his eyes at their answer.

**Beez-** _ Stuff _

**Crowley-** _ Well that's informative, see you around 5. _

“What shall we do for dinner tonight do you think?” Aziraphale asked looking down at Adam. Adam seemed to think this over for a few moments then smiled brightly.

“Pizza!” He cheered and Aziraphale laughed and nodded his head. 

“That sounds tickety-boo,” Aziraphale said and Crowley choked on his sip of tea.

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘tickety-boo?’” He asked, his tone teasing and Aziraphale blushed but gave him a haughty look.

“Well, someone has to teach him a bit of class,” he teased back and Crowley’s mouth dropped open before he laughed. 

“Oh I’m not classy huh?” He asked before he snuck down and around him and pinched his bum making him squeak.

“Anthony Crowley!” He scolded and this time both Adam and Crowley laughed. “Think that's funny do you?” Zira said, sticking his tongue out at him. 

“Oh there's my classy angel,” Crowley said with a laugh before he swooped in and kissed him lightly.

“Ew!” Adam groaned in the typical 6 year old fashion. They both turned to look at him and Adam bit his lip. He knew that look on his daddy’s face, that meant he was about to get chased, or turned upside down or one memorable time, thrown in a pool (with his floaties on, of course) but he’d never seen that kind of look on Zira’s face before. He felt a jolt of joy shot through him that made him feel warm all over. Then Zira turned to his daddy with a smirk.

“Is he ticklish?” Aziraphale asked, and Adam prepared himself for a chase.

“He sure is!” He answered as they both jumped up. Adam squealed with joy as he shot up off the floor and ran from them laughing the whole way.

~*~Four~*~

Zira hung up his landline with a smile as Crowley and Adam set the table for 4. He wondered why Beez was coming over, he hoped it wasn’t anything bad. He looked over at the clock on the wall and wondered when they’d be here. 

“Did you remember the cheesy bread Zira?” Adam asked as he hopped back into the kitchen with a few extra serviettes. 

“Of course I did,” He told him then knelt down next to him and beckoned him over. “I also got us a brownie pizza, did you know they made such a thing?” He asked him and Adam’s face lit up.

“Yeah! They’re awesome!” He cheered as he ran from the room to share the ‘secret’ with his dad. Crowley came in a moment later with a huge smile on his face. 

“You’ve made his day,” Crowley told him with a small smile as Aziraphale handed him a glass of wine. 

“You don’t mind, do you?” he asked looking suddenly nervous and Crowley tilted his head, a little confused. “That I maybe over indulge him, a little?”

“ _ Maybe? _ " Crowley asked with a small chuckle as he shook his head. “No angel, course I don’t mind. He deserves a little overindulgence.”

“Oh good, I was a little worried,” He told him before the door buzzed and he smiled. “That must be Beez.”

“Yeah, wonder what they want, their message was purposefully vague.” Crowley said and Aziraphale nodded his agreement as he went over and pushed the buzzer.

“Hello,” He called into the intercom and Crowley sipped his wine and smiled. He could see this as his life, he really could. Adam could still have his own room here, bigger than his old one even, once they moved out the full sized bed he was sleeping on. He knew no matter what he decided he’d need to make his piece with his own flat, but the more he thought about it the more appealing staying here got. He just needed to be sure Zira was serious.

“Put that wine down!” Beez voice cut through his musings and he looked up at them confused. 

“Excuse me?” He asked slightly disgruntled. 

“Is that your first drink?” They demanded and Crowley got even more confused. 

“Again, excuse me?” He asked and they huffed and rolled their eyes and turned to Zira. 

“He been drinking?” They asked and Aziraphale looked from them to Crowley and back again, he wasn’t going to lie, Beez was a bit fierce and he didn’t want to be on their bad side.

“It’s his first glass, why?” he asked and Crowley sputtered as he set the wine down.

“Because you two have reservations in an hour and he can’t drive if he’s been drinking.”

“I can’t drive wh…” Crowley trailed off as his eyes went wide and he looked from them to the window. “Oh you so did not Beez. I swear if you put even a minuscule scratch in her…” He trailed off again as he opened the curtain and looked out. 

“What is he talking about?” Aziraphale asked, looking from Crowley to Beez. 

“It’s his-

Beez cut Adam off by covering his mouth with a smug smile as they looked over at Crowley.

“I promise I drove it like I had the Queen in the car,” They said and Crowley turned back from the window looking doubtful. “Go on, get ready. You’ll be late for dinner.”

“But we just ordered pizza,” Aziraphale said and they snorted. 

“Believe me, you want to go to dinner,” They said as Adam squirmed in their arms. “Come on kid, BeeBee is going to talk to you about subtlety.” They said, pulling them from the room. Crowley came back over with a smile and shrugged.

“Wanna go to dinner with me angel?” He asked with a smirk and Aziraphale nodded his head. 

“Very much,” Aziraphale told him with a huge smile on his face. They both parted ways to get ready for their mysterious dinner.

~*~Five~*~

“Beez you’ve got to be kidding me!” Crowley whispered aggressively 20 minutes later when they told him where they were going. “That’s a bit out of my price range.” He told them a little defeated and they rolled their eyes.

“You’re not paying for it, and neither is he,” They added quickly as he opened his mouth to argue he wasn’t going to make Zira pay for it. “Dagon set it up for me, everything is paid for, just enjoy, you deserve it.” They told him sternly and he deflated just a little. He knew Dagon had an in with just about everyone in London, but he had not expected that. 

“He’ll love it,” Crowley finally conceded and Beez smiled, they knew they’d won.

“Yes, he will,” They agreed with a nodded. “You look good bro, though, you thinking about cutting your hair, it’s getting a bit... weird.”

“Thanks a lot,” he said sarcastically as he reached up and fingered the small bun he’d wound his hair into at the base of his skull. It covered the still healing stitches pretty well. “And yes I am, I have an appointment tomorrow actually. Zira is going to hang out with Adam.”

“Oh good, looks fine for tonight,” They told him and he rolled his eyes. 

“Oh, fine is it? That’s exactly what I was going for,” He played up the sarcasm a bit and they laughed. 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure lover boy will think you look...spiffy,” They said on a giggle and Crowley groaned.

“I hate you,” He said with no bite and they laughed outright.

“Love you too big brother.” They said slapping him on the shoulder. 

~*~Six~*~

“Well that is colossally unfair,” Aziraphale said as they walked down the stairs towards the street. “Why do you get to know where we’re going?”

“Well, can’t drive there without knowing where I'm going,” Crowley said with a smirk on his face and Aziraphale huffed out a breath and nodded.

“Fine, yes, I suppose that makes sense.” Aziraphale conceded and Crowley chuckled. “So, tell me about this car of…” He trailed off as they rounded the corner to the street. There shining on the street was a beautiful black car. Now, Aziraphale knew next to nothing about cars, but he could tell this was an extremely well loved machine. 

“I only take her out on special occasions, which Beez is right, this definitely is.” Crowley told him as they stepped over to the car and he ran his hand over the hood, lovingly. 

“Her?” Aziraphale finally said looking up at Crowley, who had a huge smile on his face. “Your car is a girl?”

“All cars are girls angel, how do you not know that?” He said with a huge smirk as he pulled the keys from his pocket. “It’s a 1932 Bentley. I’ve had her for about 4 years, she was basically a shell when I bought her.”

“Did you restore her yourself?” Aziraphale asked as Crowley opened the passenger door for him. 

“I did,” he said with a look of pride on his face. “The shop has a little garage behind it, s’where I keep her.” Crowley stepped back and shut the door once Aziraphale was seated and went around to the driver side and got in. “You ready?”

“I am indeed my dear,” Aziraphale said, reaching across the seat and placing his hand on Crowley’s thigh. Crowley looked down at the hand on his thigh and then back up at a shy smiling Zira and smiled hugely.

~*~Seven~*~

“Oh my,” Aziraphale whispered as they pulled up to the valet parking. He looked over at Crowley who was smiling brightly and back at the huge lit up sign that read ‘The Ritz’ in bright lights. “How did Beez get reservations here?” He asked, his voice a little reverent and Crowley chuckled.

“Beez has connections everywhere angel,” He told him before he stepped out and rushed around to the other side so he could open the door for Zira. “They said everything is taken care of, so don’t fuss.”

“I would never,” Aziraphale said looking scandalized as he stepped out of the car. Crowley just raised an eyebrow at him and he blushed. “Well I may have worried a bit that this is out of our price range.” 

“See, I know you,” Crowley said and Aziraphale nodded his head with a smile. Crowley did know him, it seemed that no amount of time had changed how well they knew each other. He reached out and took Crowley’s hand as they started towards the doors. 

“You do dear, and nothing makes me happier than being known so well by you.” He told him and Crowley blushed just a little then raised his hand and turned Zira’s up and kissed the back of his hand. 

“I love you.” Crowley said softly and Zira’s eyes brightened at the words. He knew both of them had acknowledged that last night, but he wasn’t sure if Crowley was ready to hear that regularly. And he hadn’t thought he’d be the first to say it again.

“I love you too my dear,” He said looking up at Crowley with a happy smile on his face. “So much,” he added softly and Crowley squeezed his hand before he opened the door and led Zira into the posh entrance. They walked over to the hostess who smiled warmly at them.

“Reservation for two under Crowley,” Crowley told her and she flipped out her book and looked it over. Her face lit up with a huge smile and she nodded her head.

“Yes, indeed, we have your table all ready for you.” She said picking up two menus and heading out onto the floor. She led them into the restaurant and over towards the window. When they got there the table already had a bucket with ice next to it, chilling a bottle of champagne and red roses in a vase on the edge. 

“Well Beez has outdone themselves,” Aziraphale said with an excited little wiggle as Crowley released his hand so he could step over and pull out his chair. 

“They have indeed,” Crowley agreed as he sat down in his chair. “Oh hey, there's a card.” He said picking up the card on the table addressed to just Crowley. He slid the envelope open as the host set their menus down with a smile. 

“Enjoy gentleman,” She said with a slight bow of her head before she walked away. Crowley pulled out a single piece of paper and read it with a huge smile on his face before he handed it over to Aziraphale. 

_ Crowley, tell him. Tell him right now! Love Beez _

Was the only thing written on the piece of paper. Aziraphale chuckled and set the paper down between them. 

“I guess I jumped the gun a bit,” he joked with a huge smile and Crowley laughed with a shake of his head. 

“No way, last night could not have been more perfect.” Crowley said, reaching across the table to take his hand. “But this makes a pretty good first official date, don’t you think?”

“Yes it does my dear,” Aziraphale agreed before he chuckled. “Sets quite a high standard though, as far as future dates go.” He said, his tone light and warm, the barest hint of a smile on his face. 

“Shit it does huh?” Crowley asked, nodding as he played alone with the joke. “I guess our second date will have to be at the palace.”

“Indeed,” Aziraphale agreed before they both started laughing. A moment later their waiter showed up and asked if they’d like their champagne opened and Aziraphale nodded his head. He popped the cork with a smile and poured them both a glass.

“Let me know when you are ready to order.” he told them and they both nodded then picked up their menus as he walked away.

“Okay angel, I gotta admit, I’ve never been somewhere this fancy.” He said somewhat shyly and Aziraphale lowered his menu and met his eyes. 

“Neither have I,” He told him honestly. “I've always wanted to, but at first it was money and then...well, I didn’t want to come here alone.”

“Oh angel. Well, you don’t have to worry about that now,” Crowley told him, squeezing his hand. He picked the menu back up and looked it over. “I’ve always wanted to try duck.” he said and Aziraphale chuckled and nodded his head. 

“I’ve heard their pork is to die for,” Aziraphale said and they shared a smile. This was exactly everything Aziraphale had ever wanted, he couldn’t believe he was lucky enough to get it. 

~*~Eight~*~

Aziraphale was staring down at the beautiful chocolate souffle that had just been sat in front of him. Crowley had opted out of dessert and was just having a coffee, and after much hemming and hawing on Aziraphale’s part Crowley had flagged down their waiter and ordered it for him. 

“It looks so pretty,” he said as he picked up his spoon and just looked at it.

“I bet it tastes even better,” Crowley said with a smirk and Aziraphale looked up at him and blushed. Aziraphale took a bit and hummed deeply as the rich flavors spread over his tongue. 

“Oh that is just...scrumptious.” He said a moment later and Crowley smiled at him. He hadn’t realised how pleased he’d be, seeing his angel indulge, but it made him ridiculously happy to see Zira enjoy the souffle. He opened his mouth to tell Zira this when his mobile started to ring. It was turned down, but he’d left it on in case Adam needed him. He pulled his phone out and looked at the screen and his eyes went wide.

“What is it dear?” He asked and Crowley looked up from the mobile.

“It’s Scotland Yard,” he said his voice a little tight. “I’d better answer it,” He said before he pushed the button and put it to his ear. “Hello?”

Aziraphale couldn’t hear what the voice on the other side was saying but he didn’t like the way his face had paled, stealing the joy that had been etched on his face all evening. Crowley swallowed hard and nodded his head and Aziraphale could now see tears in his eyes.

“Okay, thank you DI Hastur.” He said, though his voice sounded dull. He took a deep breath and rubbed his face with his free hand. “I understand. Goodbye.” He set the mobile down on the table and took a deep breath. 

“Love, what is it?” Aziraphale asked, reaching over to take his hand. Crowley took another deep breath and calmed himself down. Aziraphale watched as he pushed back the tears and the grief that had been on his face.

“That was DI Hastur,” he said though Aziraphale had worked that part out, he still nodded his head and waited. “He was calling to let me know that both Michael and Sandy are pleading not guilty.” He closed his eyes for a moment and took another deep breath. “He said they are going to need both Adam and I to testify, and he suggests I get a lawyer.”

“Oh dear, I’m so sorry,” Aziraphale told him squeezing his hand softly. He thought things over as he stared at Crowley. “I may have someone in mind for that, if you don’t mind my help?”

“Angel, I can think of nothing I want more than your help through this,” Crowley said and Aziraphale sighed a little breath of relief. They had only just found this closeness and he was sure it would kill him if Crowley pushed him away now. 

“We will get through this,” Aziraphale told him sternly. “I’m sure Madam Tracy would be happy to help you with Adam, before and after he has to testify.” Crowley gaped at him for a long moment, he should have known that Aziraphale would know the only thing he was really worried about was how this was going to affect Adam. 

“Thank you angel,” He said, pulling his hand up so he could kiss the back of it. “I love you.” He said, marveling a bit at the fact that he could say it, just because he felt like he wanted to.

“I love you too, and I love Adam and I will do everything in my power to keep you both happy.” Aziraphale told him with a gentle look on his face and Crowley believed him. He knew this soft, gentle man would move heaven and hell to keep them safe. He’d never felt so secure as he did staring into the eyes of this amazing man. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! Any guesses on who Aziraphale may think can help Crowley? I love hearing from you guys so drop me a line! :-) And always I hope everyone is doing okay during these crazy times! Mind how you go!


	8. Get Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys share a sweet memory and a good breakfast conversation is had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long in updating. This online school stuff has taken its toll on my family so I haven't had a lot of time to write between helping my 10 year old and 8 year old sons figure it out. I'll try to do better and have another chapter up by next week, but I can't make any promises.

Crowley stopped behind Zira at the front door to the flat and put his hand on his shoulder stopping him just before the door. Zira turned towards him, keys in his hand and frowned. Crowley looked so dejected and it made Zira’s heart break a little. He hated that their lovely first date had been ruined by a phone call. And he had to admit, a small part of him had worried Crowley might pull away after it. That he might not want Zira there to help him through it. But he’d been wrong, Crowley had wanted his help, had relished it in fact. So at least he knew no matter what came next he could help, Crowley and Adam had him and he’d help get them through this. Crowley pursed his lips for a moment as he gathered his thoughts then sighed. 

“I’m just…” he trailed off and Zira reached out with his free hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m so grateful to have you angel.” He finally said with a slight tremor to his voice and Zira used the hold on his hand to tug him towards him so he could wrap him in a hug. Crowley wrapped his arms around him and held on tightly for a long moment. 

“You will always have me dear,” He whispered into his ear. “I’m not going anywhere, I love you. I love Adam, I am here for you no matter what.” He felt some of the tension ease out of Crowley’s body at his words and let out a soft breath of relief. 

“Okay, that’s… me too angel, you have me too,” He told him softly before he took a deep breath. “Okay, let’s go in. I’m beat, I think I’d like to turn in early.” 

“Of course my dear,” Zira said as he pulled away and turned back to the door. He pushed it in slowly and stepped into the flat, he wanted to be quiet, in case Beez had managed to get Adam to sleep. Beez stood up from the couch and turned to them with a smile on their face.

“Well, how did…” They trailed off as they studied them for a minute, taking in Crowley’s dejected face and the tears shimmering just under the surface and turned to Zira. “What did you do!?” They demanded, their voice fierce as they stepped towards him.

“Beez he didn’t do anything,” Crowley told them and they nodded, with a mocking air about them.

“Oh really?” They demanded, looking from Crowley to Zira again. “Then why are you on the verge of tears? I swear Fell if you broke his heart I’ll-

“Stop it Beez!” Crowley demanded in a hard but quiet voice. “Zira hasn’t done anything and I won't have you attacking my boyfriend in his damned living room!” He told them and their mouth dropped open just a little. Zira's heart skipped a beat at being referred to as his 'boyfriend.' Even under the circumstances it was still amazing to hear. 

“Boyfriend?” Beez asked softly as all the anger drained out of them, it had worked, they were together. “Then why the long face? What happened?”

“I got a call from DI Hastur over dessert,” Crowley said as his shoulders sagged and he sighed. “Michael and Sandy are pleading not guilty, there’s going to be a trial, and Adam…” He trailed off and Zira took his hand again and gave it a squeeze. “Adam will have to testify.” He finished and Beez’s anger rushed back up and they turned and kicked the couch before they swore, being mindful enough to keep their voice down though.

“Shit Crowley, damn her!” They growled as they turned back around to look at him. “You want me to have someone break her legs? His legs? I know people.” They said and then to both of their surprises Crowley threw his head back and laughed. He stepped forward as he was still chuckling and pulled Beez into a hug. They wrapped their arms around him and held on and again Zira was so happy to see that Crowley had someone else in his corner as well.

“That won't be necessary,” He finally said as he pulled away, still chuckling lightly. “But I appreciate the thought sis,” He told them and they smiled a little at him and nodded. “Zira and I already have the beginnings of a plan, we’re going to contact Madame Tracey tomorrow and Zira says he knows a really great lawyer, we’ll get through this and move on. That’s all I want, I just wanna move on.”

“Okay,” They sighed and nodded their head as they stepped over to the door. “Can I come by tomorrow, talk this out a bit more? Hear a bit about this lawyer?” They asked looking from Crowley to Zira. 

“You are welcome anytime,” Zira told them as Crowley stepped over to the room he shared with Adam and eased the door open. His eyebrows scrunched up in confusion and he pulled the door closed quietly behind him. 

“Beez,” He said and they turned as they put their jacket on. 

“Yes?” They asked, dragging the word out a little and Zira had a feeling they knew whatever it was that Crowley was about to ask them.

“Why has my bed been stripped? Even the pillow cases seem to be gone." Zira’s eyes went wide and Beez’s seemed to be holding back a smile. 

“It wasn’t my idea,” They said in their defence and Crowley just raised an eyebrow. “Your son got it into his head that you would be sleeping in Zira’s room tonight. I tried to tell him that wasn’t how these things went, but he was adamant. I remade that bed twice Crowley, and then I tossed in the towel.” They said with a smile and a shrug. “So, good night!” They said pulling the door open and slipping through before Crowley could get another word out. He turned towards Zira when he started chuckling and glared at him, though there was no heat in his eyes. 

“Apparently my six year old thinks he’s my wingman,” He said before he started laughing too. Zira walked over to him and took his hand and smiled at him. He could still see the mirth in his eyes, but there was also a blush rising up onto his cheeks. 

“We can sneak in there and make the bed, if you’d like, but…” Zira trailed off and looked at his feet. Then he took a deep breath and looked back up at him. “But if you’d like, I don’t mind sharing the bed.” He said his eyes darting to his door just a bit farther down the hall. 

“Are you sure angel?” Crowley asked and the smile on Zira’s face widened. 

“It would make me very happy, if you’d sleep in my bed tonight.” Zira told him, his voice soft and full of what Crowley was pretty sure was eagerness. He left off the bit about hoping it could be 'their' bed some time in the near future, now probably wasn't the time for that. 

“You just wanna get me in your bed again,” Crowley joked with an eyebrow wiggle and Zira shook his head slowly. 

“Crowley, while last night was, most certainly the best night of my life, I’m not inviting you to my bed with any kind of expectations. I love you. I know despite your smile you’re still hurting, and nothing would please me more right now then laying down with you so I can hold you while you fall asleep,” He implored, hoping he’d understand how sincere he was and Crowley bit his bottom lip and a tear ran down his cheek. He knew Zira loved him, could all but feel it radiating off of him, but every time he said it felt like the first time and he loved him so much. 

“Okay,” he said, nodding his head as he blinked back more tears. “Let’s go to bed.” he agreed softly before Zira pulled him gently towards his room. 

~*~One~*~

“Do you remember,” Crowley said as he snuggled into Zira’s arms. They were in Zira’s bed, both comfortable, but neither of them seemed quite ready for sleep. “That summer we turned 17?” He asked and Zira snorted and reached up to run his hand through Crowley’s hair. 

“Of course I remember,” Zira told him with a fond smile. “I’d been desperately in love with you for a while by then,” Zira admitted before he cleared his throat. Crowley’s eyes went wide at the admission as he looked up at him. He didn’t realize that Zira’s feelings went as far back as his. “Why?”

“You remember when we decided to try and make a birthday cake for you?” Crowley asked and Zira laughed and nodded his head as he remembered the terrible cake they’d baked together. Zira’s parents had both been at work and they’d made a dreadful mess of the kitchen. “I wanted to kiss you so badly that day. There you were, covered in flower, laughter lighting up your face as you leaned against the counter.” Crowley said, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes and pictured it. “I was half a second away from crowding you up into the counter and snogging your brains out.” Crowley told him and Zira’s breath hitched and then his gasped.

“My parents came home,” he remembered and Crowley nodded his head. 

“Yeah, they did,” He said running his hand across Zira's chest, his tone just a little sad. “And your mum saw our mess and just laughed, shaking her head as your dad came around the corner with a bakery box in his hands.” 

“I didn’t realize that…” Zira trailed off as he toyed with Crowley’s hair. “That you liked me too, back then.”

“I didn’t  _ like  _ you,” Crowley said and Zira’s head jerked down so he could look at him, a slightly hurt look on his face and Crowley smiled. “I loved you.”

“Oh Crowley,” Zira breathed as Crowley pushed up just a little so he could kiss him. When he pulled back Zira was smiling just a little sadly at him. He reached up and ran his finger tips over Crowley’s cheek. “I wish I could say it had turned out differently. I could wish my parents had been only been 15 minutes later but…” he trailed off again and Crowley nodded. He knew they were both thinking of Adam. He’d never have been born if they’d gotten together at 17.

“I know Angel,” Crowley murmured as he settled his weight back down, his head nestled on Zira’s shoulder. 

“I wish I could take your pain though,” Zira whispered and Crowley could hear the tears in his voice. “If I’d just found you six months ago.”

“It got me where I am now, so I think all in all it turned out okay,” Crowley said shrugging his free shoulder. “I’d do it all again if I knew I’d get to have you and Adam at the end of it.” They were both silent for a little bit after that hushed confession. Both marveling at the way things had turned out. How lucky they both were that of all the shops Adam had passed he’d turned into Zira’s to hide.

“Angel,” Crowley said after a few minutes, shifting himself up so he was hovering over Zira. 

“Yes love?” Zira asked looking up at him with a smile. 

“You know how you said you didn’t invite me into bed with any expectations?” Crowley asked and Zira felt his heart rate pick up just a little. 

“Y-yes,” he stammered and Crowley smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Would it be okay if I wanted to anyway?” He asked and Zira took a deep breath and nodded his head and Crowley smirked. “Good,” he said before he swooped down and captured his lips in a scorching kiss.

~*~Two~*~

The next morning Zira woke before Crowley, as per usual, and kissed his forehead softly. Crowley smiled in his sleep and burrowed into Zira's side a little. Zira chuckled as he carefully pulled away, but Crowley wrapped his arm around him, shaking his head. 

"Five more minutes," he mumbled, still half asleep. 

"I can't," he said, pulling farther away smiling at Crowley's grumbling. "I'm teaching Adam how to make popovers this morning." He told him and Crowley grumbled a bit more as Zira slipped out of bed. Crowley grabbed his pillow and buried his face in it, taking a deep breath. A few seconds later he was fast asleep again. 

"I love you so," Zira whispered as he gently pushed the hair out of Crowley's face. After looking in wonder for just another moment Zira stood up and walked out, closing the door softly behind him. 

He puttered around the kitchen while he waited for Adam to wake up. He started the coffee and put the kettle on then started gathering the ingredients for popovers. They were doing cheese and bacon popovers, since Zira knew Crowley had a weakness for bacon. As he worked he let his mind wander a bit. 

He really hoped Crowley wouldn't have a problem with the lawyer he had in mind. Zira knew he'd be great for the job, considering his past, but he was afraid Crowley might reject the idea because of his relation to Zira. He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard a door open and looked up to see Adam stepping out of his room. 

He gave Zira a 'not quite awake yet' smile and it reminded him so much of his father. He shuffled over and pulled himself up onto a stool, dog and lizard tucked into one arm. 

"Good morning dear boy," Zira said with a bright smile. "Did you sleep well?" 

"Yep," he said nodding his head. "How did daddy sleep?" he asked, his voice a little hesitant. 

"No nightmares still," Zira told him, then wondered if he should ask about why Adam decided to change the sleeping arrangements. 

"Good," Adam said nodding decisively. "I just had a feeling daddy was gonna need you last night." He explained without being asked and Zira nodded at his wisdom. Anathema would get a kick out of his little 'premonition.' 

~*~Three~*~

It ended up being four for breakfast, since Beez showed up just after Crowley woke up. Breakfast turned out great and Beez lavished compliments on Adam for his cooking, which made him blush and stammer, a bit like his dad. Which had Zira hiding a smile the whole time. After breakfast Adam went into the living room and turned on a movie while the adults sipped coffee and tea. 

"So, tell me about this lawyer," Beez said with a small smile. They slouched in the chair, much like Crowley was want to do. 

"Oh, yes, of course," Zira said with a fluttering of his hands, Beez always just jumped right into it. "As long as it's okay with you." he said looking at Crowley. He smiled fondly and nodded his head as he reached over and took Zira's hand, stilling his movements. 

"Well his name is Gabriel, he's my step-brother," he told them and Crowley's eyes went wide. 

“You didn’t tell me he was a lawyer,” Crowley said and Zira nodded his head.

“I know, it never really came up, I haven’t told you much about them at all,” he explained and Crowley took a deep breath. 

“He must be good at his job, or you wouldn’t have suggested him,” Beez said and Zira smiled at them. He was glad they knew he wouldn't suggest just anyone. 

“He is indeed.” Zira agreed before he took a sip of his tea. “He specializes in… well in abuse cases.” Zira told them and Crowley picked up his mug but didn’t take a sip. “He’s very passionate about it,” Here Zira paused debating whether or not to tell them this next bit. It wasn’t a huge secret, Gabriel had talked openly about it to the press on more then one occasion after a trial, but he didn’t want it to color Crowley’s decision. But then, he really wanted him to understand why he’d suggested him. “His father was abusive, towards his mother, and then him when he was a bit older.” Crowley shuttered a little and Zira squeezed his hand. “She left him when Gabriel was 14 and he took the stand to help put him in prison.” They all looked over at Adam, playing happily on the floor in front of the TV with his legos. 

“Could we meet with him?” Crowley asked and Zira smiled brightly at him. 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” Zira said with a small wiggle. “I invited him to dinner tonight. All I said was I might have some business for him. He was happy to come over. We haven’t seen each other in about six months.”

“He’s american though, right?” Crowley asked, scratching his neck. “He can practice here, yeah?”

“Oh yes dearest,” Zira said nodding his head. Happy that his dinner surprise had gone over so smoothly. “He’s lived here on and off for about 3 years. He’s actually got dual citizenship.”

“And he’s not a bigot, yeah?” Beez asked and Crowley glared at her. “What, I’m just asking.”

“No, Gabriel is a very open minded man. He went to Pride with me last year. He actually punched a man in the face, when he started shouting at me about going to hell.” He told them with a small smile on his face. “Family is very important to him. He can be a bit brash and doesn’t always have a lot of...tact, but he means well.”

“Well, at least you’ll have gotten your hair cut before you meet him,” Beez teased and Crowley chuckled and nodded his head. 

“I got the impression you didn’t really like him, when you mentioned him” Crowley said, the one conversation they’d had about him all he could remember Zira saying was he ‘wasn’t so bad.’

“Well, we disagree on a few things, he thinks I’m wasting my intelligence with the bookshop and book finding and he's a bit of a health buff and we clash terribly over that.” he said with an indulgent smile as he looked down at the third popover he’d just put on his plate. 

“Zira, if he’s a jerk about-

“No,” Zira said, cutting him off, shaking his head. “No, he’s not, I promise you. He worries is all, he’s never cruel or condescending about it.”

“Okay,” Crowley said nodding his head, though he was going to keep an eye on Gabriel, one toe out of line and he was going to kick him to the curb. He wasn’t going to tolerate anyone making his angel feel badly about his body, which was frankly magnificent. 

“Okay, now that’s settled,” Beez said, picking up their coffee and draining it. “You need a ride to the barber big brother?” 

“Actually yeah, that’d be great,” Crowley said nodding his head. “I’m gonna get changed and we can head out.”

“Beez you’re welcome to stay when you bring Crowley back, I’m making lasagna for dinner,” Zira told them and they smiled nodding their head. 

“Oh you bet your ass I’m staying,” They said with a snort and Crowley rolled his eyes as he stood. He leaned over and kissed the top of Zira’s head. 

“Are we making cheesy bread?” Crowley asked with a hopeful smile. 

“Of course dearest,” He said, tipping his head back for another kiss, this time on the lips. 

“You two are disgusting, I can’t believe I was in favor of this,” Beez grumbled good naturedly as they stood and headed over to sit with Adam while they waited for Crowley.

“I love you,” Zira whispered into his lips as Crowley pulled away just a bit.

“I love you too angel,” Crowley murmured back before he straightened up and walked back towards his shared room with Adam, since all his clothing was still in there. 

Zira sat and looked down at his tea. He was sure this was going to work out. They'd get this past them and then do what Crowley wanted, move on. 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know someone guessed that the lawyer might be Newt, sorry H, but don't worry, he's coming soon. Anathema will be making an appearance again in the next chapter, as well as Gabriel.


	9. Family Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley discovers that Adam knows more about what been going on then he thought and he finally gets to meet Zira's step brother. And Crowley finally gets a hair cut :-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken so long to get out. This will probably be the last chapter I post on this story till after Christmas. I have so much going on in RL plus a few Christmas challenges I'm taking part in. So, until then enjoy the holidays! 
> 
> P.S- Sorry for the mildly short chapter. I'll get back to my longer ones after the holidays. :-)

Zira was in the kitchen putting the final touches on the lasagna when Adam came in. He was holding his stuffed dog under one arm and in the other he had a piece of paper. He had a mildly shy smile on his face as he looked up at him. 

"What have you got there dear boy?" Zira asked and Adam shifted on his feet before looking down at the paper. 

"I drew you a picture," he said, still not showing it to him. He looked down at the picture then back up at Zira. "Well, it's for you and daddy." 

"Do you wanna wait till he gets home from the barber shop to show us?" he asked as he tore a piece of tinfoil off the roll and covered the ready lasagna with it. Now all they'd have to do was pop it in the oven come dinner. Adam walked over to the fridge and opened it for him and Zira smiled. "Thank you Adam." he said as he picked it up and walked it over, putting it in the spot he'd prepared for it earlier. 

"Zira, when you and my dad get married what will you be?" Adam asked looking up at him. It took a moment before Zira understood what Adam was asking and he smiled. He closed the fridge door and knelt down in front of him. 

"I'll be your step-dad," he told him and Adam nodded his head, a very thoughtful look on his face. He still had the paper facing away from Zira as he stared at him. 

"Will I have to call you that?" he asked sounding dubious as he wrinkled his nose. Zira had to hold back the chuckle as he shook his head. 

"No of course not dear boy, you can just call me Zira, as before," Zira told him with a smile. He loved that in Adams mind it was  _ when  _ they got married not if, there was no doubt to him that they'd get married someday. 

"What if I wanted to call you… Dad?" Adam asked, his voice a little quieter now.

"Oh...well...nothing would make me happier. Though that is something we should probably discuss with your father" he said, trying to hold onto the emotions trying to break free. It thrilled him to no end that Adam may think of him in that fashion, even if just in theory right now. 

"Right," Adam said nodding his head, that thoughtful look back in place. "Cause I already call him 'dad.' I'll have to call you something different else it'll get confusing." he decided and Zira chuckled just a bit. That wasn't quite why they needed to talk to Crowley about it, but it was a sweet thought nonetheless. 

"Amongst other things," Zira finally said as he reached out and ruffled his hair. Adam smiled, his eyes no longer shy as he held out the piece of paper. Zira took the paper from him and turned it over. The emotions he'd held back broke free as he looked down at it. The tears that had gathered in his eyes broke free and ran down his face. 

The drawing was crude in a fashion, but it was clearly two adult men, one with red hair and one blonde, both holding the hands of a smaller boy in the middle. They were all smiling brightly with a large heart surrounding the three of them. 'My dads' was written across the top. 

"Do you like it?" Adam asked just before Zira reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. 

"I love it," he said, his voice tight with tears. "And I love you. Nothing would make me prouder than having you as a son." Adam held him just as tightly as Zira was holding him. 

"Everything okay in here?" Zira jumped just a little at the voice as he pulled away from Adam. "Angel?" Crowley asked, concerned by the tears on Zira's face. Zira just held out the piece of paper, keeping one arm around Adams' shoulders. Crowley took the paper and looked at it for just a moment before he sunk down on the floor and pulled them both into a hug. 

"What are you three nut jobs doing?" Beez asked as they stepped into the kitchen. Crowley pulled away just a little and smiled at them. 

"Hugging," he said as he tickled Adam's side causing him to giggle. Crowley squeezed them both to him again for just a moment then pulled away with a huge smile on his face. It was obvious by Zira’s reaction that he didn’t mind the title Adam had bestowed upon him in the drawing, but all the same the three of them should probably talk about it at some point in the future, together and separately.

“Oh dear, your hair looks wonderful,” Zira said when he finally got a good look at Crowley. He had cut off almost all the length, it was cut close at the sides of his head, not quite shaved, but close, and the top was longer, artfully styled as if to look almost unstyled.

“You like it?” Crowley asked with a shy smile on his face making Zira giggle just a bit, Adam really did look just like his dad when they smiled like that. 

“It looks very dashing,” Zira said and Beez snorted and rolled their eyes. Secretly they loved how Zira spoke, and how he treated their brother, but they had a reputation to keep.

“I like it daddy,” Adam said and Crowley smiled down at him. He stood up then held out his arms and Adam scrambled up and Crowley hefted him up onto his hip. Adam seemed to relish being held by his daddy right now, after going three weeks without it. Zira pulled himself up with a fond smile on his face. 

“What time will Gabriel be here?” Crowley asked, looking to Zira. 

“He said he’d be here at 5, and he’s always very punctual,” Zira told them and Crowley chuckled.

“Enough time to watch Jurassic Park I think,” Crowley said and Adam cheered. He set him down and he zoomed into the living room to get the tv set up.

“I forgot to ask, is he older or younger than us?” Crowley asked as he watched his son fondly.

“He’s only two years older then us," Zira said with a smile as he picked up the kettle. "Tea?" he asked looking from Beez to Crowley. 

"Sounds good," Beez said before they strode into the living room after Adam. 

"I'd love a cup," Crowley said leaning against the counter. "You really like my hair?" he asked, his voice tinted with a bit of hesitation. Zira put down the kettle and turned to him. His eyes flicked to the living room before he stepped in front of Crowley. 

"I do," he murmured as he reached up and ran his finger tips through the longer strands on top. "Just long enough I think," he told him with a wicked look in his eyes. 

"For what exactly?" Crowley asked, his throat a little tight, he really wasn’t used to seeing that particular look in Zira’s eyes yet, kinda hoped he never would be. He was barely touching him and yet he was lighting up every nerve in his body. 

"Hmmm," Zira hummed with a smirk before he leaned in and kissed him softly. His fingers tightened in his hair for just a moment and Crowley had to bite back a groan. "We'll see…" Zira whispered against his lips as he pulled away. He stepped away and turned back to the sink and picked up the kettle. 

"You're killing me here angel," Crowley whined good naturedly with a huff of laughter. 

"Oh but what a way to go," Zira said turning back to wink at him as he set the kettle on the stove. 

"Oi you two, stop making out in there and come watch the movie!" Beez called from the living room. 

~*~One~*~

"If he's Zira's brother would that make him my uncle?" Adam asked as he helped set the table. It was 4:45 and Crowley was feeling a little nervous about meeting Zira's brother. 

"Well, technically not until Zira and I get married." Crowley told him slightly absentmindedly. What if this guy didn't like him or he didn't like him? What if he was a jerk to Adam? He didn't think Zira would let that stand, but he knew family was important to him. What if Beez and he fought? 

"Relax love," Zira said, placing his hands on Crowley's shoulders and rubbing them lightly. "Everything is going to be fine." 

"Does he know that we're-

"Yes." Zira told him, digging his thumb into a tense spot on Crowley's neck. Crowley groaned a bit as the muscle eased. "He knows all about you Crowley. He's helped me look for you on and off for years."

"Oh," Crowley murmured softly and his opinion of Gabriel rose a bit. 

"I actually called him about two days after I brought you home. He was excited to know I'd finally found you. He's actually wanted to come meet you for a bit now."

"Really?" Crowley asked, turning to look at him. 

"Yes, I just wasn't sure you'd feel up to it. I was planning on asking you after dinner last night if you'd like to meet him." Zira told him with a slightly sad smile. 

“Well, I’m glad he’s coming then,” Crowley said, surprised that he actually meant it. Gabriel obviously meant a lot to Zira. He also realized that Zira would never invite someone into their lives he thought might cause either of them any pain. And with that realization a sense of calm washed over Crowley and the smile on Zira’s face brightened. 

“Me too,” Zira said nodding his head before he leaned up and kissed his forehead. They both looked when the buzzer sounded and Adam dropped the silverware he’d been placing and ran to the door. 

“Hello!” He called pushing the button. Crowley heard a rich, genuine chuckle over the intercom.

“Ah, is this young Adam Crowley?” A deep voice asked, his American accent held the notes of someone who has spent a number of years in London.

“Yeah, is this Mr. Angelo?” Adam asked as Zira stepped over.

“It is indeed,” Gabriel said and Adam looked up at Zira who nodded his head. He reached over and buzzed Gabriel in.

“You can come up now,” Adam told him and Crowley blew out a long breath. He could do this, he’d always been good at first impressions. He walked into the kitchen and poured four glasses of wine and started taking them to the table. He shared a look with Beez as they stood up from the couch and headed over. 

“Oh! My picture!” Adam cried as Zira stepped over to the door. “I’ll be right back!” He yelled as he ran back to his room. Crowley turned from his retreating form and meet Beez’s eyes again.

“Behave,” he mouthed at them and they smirked back and wiggled their eyebrows as Zira pulled the front door open. The man that stepped through was a bit taller than Zira, with broad shoulders and a warm smile on his face.

“Gabe, it’s so good to see you,” Zira said and Crowley was slightly surprised when Gabriel stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. At first glance he did not look like the type to hug. He was wearing a grey suit with a violet tie, he looked a bit like a ‘caramel macchiato, extra shot, no whip, fat free milk’ kind of guy. But then he smiled and you could see that it was genuine, he cared. Zira turned towards Crowley, who had just set the last wine glass down on the table and smiled.

“Gabe, this is my Crowley and his sibling Beez,” Crowley watched for any confusion at the ‘sibling’ remark but he just smiled at both of them.

“It’s great to finally meet you,” Gabriel said stepping forward with his hand out. Crowley chuckled as he reached out and took his hand. “Aziraphale said you might be in need of my services.” He said and Crowley looked over at Zira whose eyes had gone wide.

“I said no such thing,” Zira denied and Gabriel chuckled shrugging his shoulders.

“Well, legal trouble of some kind you said. And Crowley here has what looks like it was at one time a black eye, a just barely healed scar on your lip and your holding yourself on you left a little heavily, bruised ribs?”

“Jesus Zira, you didn’t tell me your brother was Sherlock bloody Holmes,” Crowley said as he huffed out a laugh. 

“Ah so he’s allowed to give you a nickname huh?” Gabriel teased looking over at Zira.

“‘Az’ is not a nickname.” Zira told him as he rolled his eyes. “And he gave me the nickname at 13.” Crowley felt his face drop as he looked from Gabriel to Zira.

“Zira, you don’t mind it, do you? Please tell me you haven’t been letting me call you by a name you hate.” Crowley said and Zira chuckled as he stepped over to him and took his hand. 

“Dear, I love the nicknames you’ve given me, Gabe is just trying to start trouble.” Zira said, sending a mocking glare at Gabe who shook his head and tried to look innocent.

“Mr. Angelo!” Adam called as he finally came barreling back out of his room. “Hi!” Adam called as he skidded to a halt in front of him. “Dad says you're going to be our lawyer.” Crowley’s eyes went wide at that. He’d been pretty sure he’d been careful about talking about this in front of Adam. “That you’ll make it so Michael and Sandy will get in trouble for hurting him.” He went on, unaware that every adult in the room was staring at him now. “So I made you this!” He said holding the folded piece of paper out to him. Gabriel took the paper and unfolded it then smiled. 

“Thank you!” was written across the top of a hand drawn rainbow in the shaky scrawl of a six year old. Underneath there was another note that made Gabriel's eyes go wide. Crowley watched as this six foot tall man knelt down in his, probably, Armani suit till he was eye leave with Adam. 

“Has there been talk of that happening?” he whispered conspiratorially and Adam smiled nodding his head.

“Yeah, Zira said someday.” Adam said and Gabriel's eyes flicked up to Zira for a moment.

“You work fast little brother,” he teased before he looked back down at Adam. “Well in that case, yes, of course you may.”

“Uncle Sandy was mean, so I’m not gonna call him that any more.” Adam said and Crowley was barely following the conversation they seemed to be having, though he thought it may have something to do with family titles. Adam narrowed his eyes at Gabriel for a moment. “Will you be mean cause daddy likes men and women? That's why Sandy and mu- Michael were mean.” Adam said, correcting himself halfway through the word ‘mum’ and Crowley felt his chest tighten. He’d never heard him call his mum by her name before, and he didn’t realize he understood why she’d been the way she’d been. He really needed to sit down and have a long talk with Adam here soon. 

“No Adam, I will not be mean. Everyone should love who they love.” Gabriel said and Adam eyed him for a moment longer then nodded, his smile back in place. 

“I’m going to play till dinner’s ready,” he announced then ran back into the living room and Gabriel stood back up and all eyes were on him.

“What was that?” Crowley asked looking from his son back over to Gabriel. The smile that had been on Gabriel's face was gone though as he stood back up and looked at Crowley.

“Who did that to him?” He asked, his voice having lost the jovial tone he’d used with Adam. Crowley was assuming he was talking about the fading black ey and scared split lip that Adam was sporting now.

“His uncle,” Crowley answered at once. “My ex wife brought her brother to my house to try and take back Adam, by force.”

“And now the bitch is pleading not guilty,” Beez growled and Gabriel looked over at them and nodded his head. 

“Well then, we should work out a game plan. What time does Adam go to bed?” Gabriel asked looking back over at Crowley.

“Not till nine, summer and all. But we can set him up with a movie on his laptop in his room at 8, make him some popcorn, he’ll think it's a great treat.” Crowley told him and Zira squeezed his hand lightly. 

“Great, I don’t have any meetings tomorrow morning, so we can get this started tonight.” He stepped over to Crowley and met his eyes. “Well see that neither of them bothers you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Anathema didn't make it into this chapter, her roll got pushed back just a little. But she will be in the next chapter, when Crowley goes back to work and faces his demons at his flat, with the help of his angel.


	10. Back to Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zira has a little surprise for Crowley on his first day back at work. Crowley has a great morning and Anathema meets someone new, to be fair Crowley meets him too, but he's not interested the way Anathema is ;-)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There be smut ahead! If that's not your cup of tea you wont miss anything story wise, the smut starts with this ~~**~~ and ends with this ~~**~~ 
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter. I'm still very new to smut so go easy on me :-)

Crowley stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist before he pulled another one off the rack and dried his hair. He was so happy to finally have the stitches out of his head, though he wasn’t pleased by the scar it was going to leave there. At least the doctor assured him if he grew his hair back out it would cover it just fine. Though he did kind of like it at the length it was at now. He reached up and wiped the condensation off the mirror and gave himself a once over. The bruising on his face was gone, or at least very nearly gone. His ribs were probably 85% better, unless he jarred them then he felt a stab of pain, but it faded pretty fast. He ran his hands through his hair and smiled a little. 

Now all they had to do was get through the next 3 months and they’d be free to start their lives together. Their meeting with Gabriel had gone great and they had a master plan. Crowley was taking Adam to see Madam Tracy later today to fill her in on the plan and to talk everything out with Adam with her there if he needed her. He was dreading Adam getting up on the stand to testify against them, but he knew it was necessary and that Adam was strong enough to get through it, with them there to support him. He had a last ditch effort to make tomorrow, but he wasn’t putting much faith in it’s outcome.

~~**~~

“Well now, don’t you make a fetching picture,” Crowley jumped just a little at the sound of Zira’s voice behind him. He whipped around to find Zira leering at him, honest to god leering, and he swallowed hard. Zira stepped into the room biting his lip and eyeing Crowley’s towel. 

“Hiya angel,” he said then squeaked when Zira ran his finger along the top of Crowley’s towel as he circled him and Zira chuckled. 

“I’d hoped to join you in the shower,” Zira pouted and Crowley’s throat went dry at his tone. “But Mr. Franklin kept me on the phone for almost 35 minutes.” he told him and Crowley nodded. Mr. Franklin was someone who Zira was trying to buy a few very old books from, so far they were at a bit of a stalemate.

“That’s too bad,” he finally managed to get out, his heart rate was spiking and all the blood in his brain had abandoned him. He’d never been so thankful that Beez had taken Adam for the morning in his whole life. Zira was now running that single finger up the center of Crowley’s chest. Crowley was still getting used to this side of Zira, this aggressor side of him. Truthfully he was thrilled by it. Knowing that Zira wanted him as much as he wanted him was a heady feeling. “I could get back in.” He said slyly and Zira chuckled though he shook his head lightly.

“No, I think this will do just fine.” He told him his voice was lower than normal as he ran his hand back down his chest. He stepped towards him, crowding Crowley against the bathroom sink. He leaned in and kissed his neck making him shiver as Zira’s hand wrapped around the towel hanging on Crowley’s hips. “Is this okay?” He whispered into his skin as he kissed him and Crowley groaned as he nodded his head. “I find, now that I’m allowed to touch you I want to do it all the time.” Zira murmured, pulling the towel off his hips so it pooled around his feet. 

“Me too,” Crowley agreed then gasped when Zira wrapped his hand around his cock. One of Crowley’s hands jerked back to grab onto the sink while the other wrapped around Zira’s arm, holding on for dear life as Zira started to stroke him slowly. Zira continued to kiss him, running his free hand through the strands of dripping wet hair. Zira was still fully dressed, right down to the bow-tie and Crowley found it ridiculously hot. 

“Shit,” Crowley cried his eyes slamming shut when Zira ran his thumb over the slit on the head, gathering the bead of moisture that had collected there already. He forced his eyes back open when a moment later Zira pulled his hand away and stopped kissing him. He was just in time to see Zira raise his thumb to his mouth, running his tongue across the pad before he slid the whole digite into his mouth, his eyes dark with heat. “Fuck,” Crowley groaned as his hips jerked at the display before him. 

“Hmmm,” Zira hummed as he slid his thumb back out, catching his lower lip on his thumb as he did. Zira then smiled at him, but it was a hungry smile, almost predatory and Crowley’s heart thundered in his chest. Zira leaned in then and kissed him hard on the mouth, pulling more sounds from him as he wedged a thigh in-between Crowley’s legs. The hand in Crowley’s hair pulled and he moaned into Zira’s mouth and Zira deepened the kiss as his hips rolled against Zira’s thigh. Zira moved from his mouth to his neck again and with his mouth free again Crowley found himself babbling.

“Oh god, Zira, you feel so good,” He told him as Zira sucked a spot on to his collar bone that was definitely going to leave a mark. “Fuck, I love you so much.” He arched into him as one of Zira’s hands found his nipple and pinched it lightly. Zira began to trail kisses down his chest, flicking his tongue over the neglected nipple. When it became clear to Crowley what Zira’s intentions were, he hissed out a breath. Zira was now on his knees in front of him, lavishing kisses on his hips. Zira looked up at him, his eyes questioning and Crowley nodded his head and Zira smirked before he leaned forward, eyes still locked on Crowley’s and licked up his cock from base to tip.

“Oh fuck, oh shit,” Crowley moaned just before Zira wrapped his lips around the head and sucked. “Ohhhhhhh!” Crowley cried out, trying desperately not to jerk his hips. Zira bobbed forward, taking most of Crowley’s length into his mouth.

“Oh god you feel good,” Crowley moaned, now holding onto the sink with both hands, his head thrown back. He was hoping his legs didn’t give out, cause honestly they were starting to shake. Zira pulled back just a little and ran his tongue just under the tip and Crowley’s hips bowed forward.

“Yes!” He yelled as his breath started to come in short little huffs. “Zira, oh god yes!” He shouted as Zira went back to bobbing up and down, his hands now on Crowley’s hips, holding him more or less in place as he sped up. “Zira, oh I’m going to… Oh Zira! Angel!” He yelled as his mind went white and pleasure coursed through his body, his hips jerking against Zira’s hands. Zira didn’t let up as he came, lighting up little sparks of aftershocks running down his spine. Zira pulled off a moment later, a very smug, satisfied smile on his face as he picked up Crowley’s towel and dabbed at his lips.

~~**~~

“Holy shit angel,” Crowley breathed out, finally letting his legs crumple under him. He sat down on the floor in a heap next to Zira, his breathing still a bit hard as he smiled at him. 

“I wanted to wish you luck on your first day back at work,” Zira told him with a smile and Crowley laughed. 

“Can’t get much luckier,” Crowley told him with a huge smile and Zira leaned over and kissed him. “What about you?” Crowley asked when he pulled away and Crowley looked down and smirked at the obvious bulge in Zira’s pants.

“This was about you dear,” Zira said, reaching up to run his hands through Crowley’s hair. “I’ll be fine till tonight.”

“Yeah, course you would,” Crowley said and now that his limbs were working again he got up on his knees and crawled over so he was on all fours in front of Zira. “Or you could let me take you back to our bedroom and worship you till you can’t move.” He said leaning down to kiss him soundly. Zira wondered if Crowley realized he’d called it ‘their’ bedroom. He hoped it meant he was seriously considering staying here and it made his heart float.

“I suppose I could be persuaded,” Zira hedged with a bright smile as Crowley took his hand and hauled them both up. 

“I love you,” Crowley told him as he walked, butt naked, back to their room, Zira following behind, quite enjoying the view. 

“I love you too dearest,” Zira told him as he shut the bedroom door behind them.

~*~One~*~

“What time are you supposed to be in to work?” Zira asked as he traced a finger over Crowley’s naked torso. Zira had never been happier, then he was lying in his lover's arms now. Crowley took a deep breath and rolled his neck and Zira looked up at him.

“I told Anathema I’d be in around 10,” He said and his face looked a little strained. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” He asked, his voice going soft, comforting.

“No, thanks though,” Crowley said, pushing to sit up a little, and Zira went with him, till they were both sitting up looking at each other. “I’ll admit I’m a little nervous, but I need to do it, prove to myself that I can.” he explained and Zira nodded his head. “It’s not that I don’t want you there angel,” he told him as he reached out and took his hand. “But you can’t go to work with me every day.”

“I know my dear,” Zira agreed, raising their joined hands so he could kiss Crowley’s palm. “I just wish there was more I could do.”

“There is something,” Crowley said, lowering his head just a little to look at their hands, now resting in Zira’s lap.

“Anything love,” Zira told him earnestly. 

“Would you come with me, I…” He trailed off and Zira squeezed his hand lightly. “Would you come with me to see Michael?”

“I… of course I would, can I ask why?” Zira asked and Crowley sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. 

“I need to talk to her, maybe...maybe I can talk some sense into her,” he said with another shrug. “I know it’s stupid, and probably pointless but-

“But you do everything you can to protect your child,” Zira finished for him nodding his head as Crowley looked up and met his eyes. “Of course I’ll come with you. I’ll go all the way up to speak with her with you, or wait if you want, whatever you need.”

“I’d like it if you’d come with me, I don’t know if I could go through with it... alone.” He finished softly and Zira nodded his head. 

“When?” He asked and Crowley squeezed his hand. 

“I had Gabriel contact her lawyer last night, she’s willing to see me tomorrow.” he told him and Zira nodded his head and took a deep breath. “I asked Beez if they’d watch Adam, in case you agreed to go.”

“Of course my dear, I’d do anything you thought might help you get past this.” Zira said before he leaned over and kissed him softly. When he pulled back Crowley had a small smile on his face. “Now, you’d better jump in the shower if you want to get to work any time resembling ‘on time.’” Zira told him with a smirk and Crowley chuckled and leaned in and pulled him into a hug. 

“I’m so lucky to have you looking out for me,” Crowley whispered into his neck.

“I’m the lucky one my love,” Zira told him as they both held on for just another few seconds.

~*~Two~*~

“Crowley!” Anathema called when he walked through the doors to his shop about 45 minutes later. He had a smile on his face and his step was light, he looked happy. Part of that may have had something to do with the fact that he talked Zira into joining him in the shower, but he’d never tell.

“Hello Anathema,” Crowley said when she rounded the counter and pulled him into a hug. 

“We’ve missed you around here,” She told him and he chuckled as she pulled away. 

“Yes, everything looks like it’s falling apart around you,” he joked as he looked around the shop, everything looked wonderful. Nothing was wilting or dry and as far as he could see everything was blooming just as it should be. Anathema smacked his arm lightly before wrapping her arms around said arm. 

“I’m so glad you're back boss,” She told him as she squeezed his arm then released him and walked back around the counter. 

“So, bring me up to speed, how are things going?”

~*~Three~*~

Zira was puttering around his shop, wondering if it was worth the effort to open today when there was a light knock at the locked door. He walked over to find a tall man standing on the other side, a nervous sort of smile on his face. Zira unlocked the door and opened it enough to speak to him.

“Hi, um, I’m Gabriel's personal assistant Newt, I have some paperwork for Mr. Crowley,” He said this all in a slightly stumbling voice. 

“Ah, yes, Gabe mentions someone would be coming by, but Crowley isn’t here right now. He’s at his shop.” Zira watched Newt's face fall just a little and went on. “But it’s just a few blocks over, Eden's Apple Blossom,” He told him and Newt nodded his head then pulled a pen from his pocket and jotted down the address when Zira told him.

“Thanks,” Newt said with a relieved look. “I’ll just head right over there,” He told him as he stepped back from the door and gave him a little wave. Zira stepped back into the shop and locked the door before pulling out his mobile.

Zira-  _ Gabe’s personal assistant, Newt, is heading your way with some paperwork from Gabe. _

He sent Crowley a quick message then decided that he’d spend the day cleaning and open again later in the week. It had been a long while since he’d been down here to work and the dust was getting a bit ridiculous. 

Crowley- _ Thanks angel, should me and the munchkin bring home dinner? _

Zira- _ That sounds delightful, whatever Adam wants to get is fine by me. _

Crowley- _ Sounds good angel, see you tonight. I love you! _

Zira- _ I love you too! _

Crowley put his mobile in his pocket and looked at his watch. It was almost 1 now. Beez was dropping Adam off at 3 so he and Crowley could make their appointment with Madam Tracy. He looked up at the jingle over his door and watched a tall nervous looking man walk in, carrying a briefcase. 

“Ah, you must be Newt,” Crowley said with a smile as he walked over towards him. “I’m Crowley.” He said, holding out his hand. Newt was the same high as him, with shaggy brown hair and a small smile on his face. He reached out and shook his hand.

“Hello Mr. Crowley-

“Just Crowley,” Crowley said, cutting him off with a smile. 

“Right, sorry, Gabriel said it was just Crowley,” Newt said with a small frown. “Anyway, I just have some paperwork Gabriel wants you to look over.” He said, pulling open his briefcase before pulling out a manila envelope. He held it out to Crowley who took it with a nod of his head. Newt's eyes went wide and Crowley could tell he was looking over his shoulder. He turned and smiled as Anathema came out from the back room.

“Anathema, this is Newt, he works for my lawyer,” He said and Anathema walked over with a bright smile. 

“Nice to meet you Newt,” She said and his face went a little shocked. 

“Oh, you're American,” he told her and she laughed and nodded her head. 

“Yeah, we try not to hold it against her,” Crowley teased and Anathema elbowed him in the arm. 

“I came over here to live about 6 years ago, my moms still pissed,” She told him and he smiled nodding his head. 

“Well,” Newt said, closing his briefcase, still looking up at Anathema shyly. “It was nice to meet you both.”

“Yeah, feel free to stop by again anytime,” Anathema flirted and Crowley just barely stopped the snort of amusement when Newt's face went a bit red. 

“Yes, well, one can… uh, never have too many flowers,” He said as he took a step back and nearly tripped over his own feet. “Good bye!” He called before he turned and practically ran out of the shop.

“He’s cute,” Anathema said and now Crowley did snort, a huge smile on his face. 

“If you say so Ana,” He said and she chuckled. 

“He has a good aura, bright, if a bit shy,” She told him and Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Oh is he shy, I hadn’t noticed,” He told her, side stepping her elbow this time. “Come on, lets get that birthday order finished so we can close up a little early, I got lots of stuff to do today.”

“Whatever you say boss,” Anathema said with a smile as she followed him into the cutting room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this was a bit shorter then normal, hopefully I'll be back to full length by the next chapter. I love to hear from the readers! :-) Have a great weekend!


	11. Meeting the Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Zira meet with Michael to discuss saving Adam for the horrors of court. Unsurprisingly she is not all that interested in what Crowley has to say. But when Zira speaks she listens, and is maybe a bit afraid. Later Crowley and Zira talk about their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. Just had a bit of the 'stuck at home' blues and couldn't get myself to write. I think it's mostly passed now. Some of you may have noticed that this now has a finished point. Two more chapters. One will be the end and the last will be an epilogue. I love hearing for all the readers, you guys really are the very best!

Crowley and Adam walked into their favorite ice-cream parlor, Adams little hand held tightly in his daddies. He could feel the tension in his daddy and hoped everything was okay. Had something happened to Zira? Surely they would be going to hospital if Zira was hurt, right? Had he done something to hurt his daddy? That seemed really unlikely, Adam may only be 6, but he knew a good person when he met them, and Zira was the best. 

“What do you want kiddo?” Crowley finally asked, his voice thick with an emotion that Adam didn’t really recognize. Adam looked up at him, his eyes wide and worried and Crowley frowned. “What's the matter buddy?” He asked, kneeling down in front of Adam.

“Is...is Zira okay?” He finally asked and Crowley looked confused. “Something is wrong, I can tell, and I haven’t seen Zira since last night, is he okay?” Crowley’s face fell at that and he pulled Adam into a hug.

“Oh bud I’m sorry, Zira is fine. He’s at work right now.” He assured him and Adam nodded his head against Crowley’s shoulder. “I just… I just thought you and I could sit down and talk for a bit and I guess I’m a bit nervous about it.” Crowley told him and Adam pulled away with a small smile. Crowley had spoken to Madam Tracy on the phone as he was leaving to meet up with Beez. They had decided Crowley would talk to him about everything that was going on and she’d keep her evening free if Crowley thought Adam needed to talk about anything.

“Is it about Michael and the trial?” He asked, perceptive as ever and Crowley smiled sadly at him. He still couldn’t believe how fast she’d gone from mummy to Michael in his mind.

“Yeah, a bit,” Crowley stood back and squeezed his hand. “But there are a few other things we should talk about.”

“Okay,” Adam said with a shrug as he looked at the menu board and smiled. “I want a chocolate sin sundae.” he told him and Crowley chuckled and nodded his head, they were both well aware of the fact that that was also Zira’s favorite ice-cream here. They stepped up to the counter and made their order then stepped to the side to wait for their ice-creams. After they had theirs they headed back to the far corner, in a small booth where they could talk. Adam took a bit of his sundae with a huge smile on his face and Crowley winced on the inside. How was he going to tell Adam he was going to have to (most likely) get up in front of a judge and tell him everything that happened? Maybe he’d start with a lighter subject.

“Adam,” He started after he took a bite of his ice-cream. “Are you happy at Zira’s?” Adam’s face lit up and he nodded his head.

“Yeah dad, I love cooking with Zira and he said next spring we can plant a little garden behind the shop, he says there’s room back there, but he’s never done anything with it." Crowley nodded his head and smiled.

“How would you feel about living there?” He asked and Adam put his spoon down and tilted his head, a slightly confused look on his face. 

“Don’t we live there already?” He asked and Crowley couldn’t hold back the small chuckle at his innocent assumption that they lived with Zira. He wasn’t far off though. They hadn’t been back to their flat since Crowley got out of the hospital. Beez had collected more of their clothing for them and Adam had a toothbrush in ‘his’ bathroom and his toys were all over the ‘spare room’ now. 

“Well, I mean yes, kind of. But Zira has asked if we’d like to make it a permanent change, but I didn’t want to tell him yes until I talked to you about it.”

“Would you move into Zira’s room?” Adam asked as he picked up his spoon again and took a bit. Adam hadn't mentioned the fact that Crowley had been sleeping in Zira's room since the date Beez had arranged for them. He didn't seem at all bothered by it though, hadn't had any nightmares or any bouts of 'I don't want to sleep alone.' Crowley had a feeling it was because he felt so safe at Zira's flat, just as Crowley did. 

“Yeah I would, we could move the big bed out of what would be your room. We would move your desk into there and everything. We’d pack up the rest of your clothing and toys and live there, officially.”

“We wouldn’t have to go back to our flat?” Adam asked, his voice a little timid and Crowley felt like an ass. He’d been so worried about how going back to that flat would affect him, how hard it was going to be, he hadn’t even stopped to think about how much it might hurt his son. He felt like the worst father in the world. 

“No Adam, we wouldn’t have to go back there to live.” Crowley told him as he reached across the table and took his hand. He’d talk to Madam Tracy about whether she thought it was a good idea for Adam to go back at all. He may have demons he needed to face there too, but he wasn’t sure he was old enough for that yet. Hell Crowley had been at the shop all morning and hadn’t once gone up to the flat above it. 

“I think it would be nice then,” Adam finally said with a decisive nod. “I love Zira.” He added as if that was all there was to it, and really he was right, wasn’t he. Crowley marveled for just a moment at how lucky he’d gotten, when his angel had walked back into his life.

“Okay, well then I’ll talk to Zira about it.” He told him with a smile as they both took bites of their ice-cream. He took a deep breath after he’d swallowed and noticed that his leg had started to bounce under the table. 

“Adam,” He finally said after a stretch of silence. “I know you love Zira, but I just wanted to make it clear that you are the most important person in my life. So you don’t have to... “ He cleared his throat and blew out a breath. “You don’t have to want him to be your dad right now. It’s okay if you’re still getting used to the idea of me being with some else.”

“Don’t you want to marry Zira?” He asked, his voice held a note of worry and Crowley rushed to assure him.

“Yes, yes I love him very much, and someday we’ll probably get married. I just want you to know that you calling him dad or whatever is something you should choose to do when it feels right to you. Not to please me or Zira.”

“Does he… does he not want me to call him dad?” He asked and Crowley swore inside his head, shit he was fucking this up right and left.

“God no, he’d love it if you wanted to,” He stopped and looked at Adam and shook his head. “Adam do you want to call Zira dad or something similar?”

“Yes,” He said, his voice a little low. “I love him so much daddy, he makes you happy, and he loves playing with me and teaching me to cook and he…” he trailed off and looked down at his spoon. 

“What buddy?” Crowley asked squeezing his hand and Adan looked back up at him and Crowley hated that there were tears in his eyes.

“He doesn’t think I was a mistake, he told me that I’m the best thing that's ever happened to him, you and me dad, isn’t that amazing?” Adam asked and for about the hundredth time Crowley cursed his ex-wife as he stood up from his side of the booth and climbed in next to Adam.

“You know when your… when Michael said that she was just mad at me, right? It didn’t have anything to do with you.” Crowley tried to assure him and Adam shook his head. 

“When Sandy was…” He trailed off and looked down at his hands. Crowley reached over and put his hand over both of Adams on top of the table. “When Sandy was hurting you she told me…” He tailed off again and looked up at Crowley. “She said it was a mistake to have a baby with you, but she wasn’t going to let me end up a pervert like you.” Crowley pulled him into his side as tears streamed down Adam’s face. He felt his heart break at the same moment it flared with rage for his ex-wife. The spiteful, nasty bitch. How dare she tell her own son something like that. He took a few deep breaths as he calmed himself down, holding on tightly to Adam as he did. 

“You were not a mistake Adam, you are a wonderful, funny, sweet little boy and there is just something wrong with Michael. I’m sorry that any of this happened to you.” Crowley told him, still holding him closely. “I love you so much and you're right, Zira loves you so much. And if you decide you wanna call him dad or something he’ll be over the moon about it.” They were definitely going to go to Madam Tracy’s after this, just so Adam could talk with her. 

“I was thinking, what about papa?” He asked, his voice still a little timid and Crowley nodded his head over and over as he petted Adam’s shaggy dirty blond hair. 

“He’ll love that,” He said with a smile, even though there were still tears on his face. Adam pulled back and Crowley reached up and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “Your ice-cream is melting,” He told him, his tone teasing and Adam smiled and reached over and took a bit of his ice-cream. Crowley decided that had been enough up heval for now, he’d tell him about the trail in a few days, it was still weeks away, he had time. He needed to remember to tell Madam Tracy that they hadn’t talked about it yet. 

“I love you buddy,” He said, pulling his own ice-cream over from the other side of the table. 

“I love you to daddy,” He said with a chocolate smeared smile on his sweet face.

~*~One~*~

“Who says something like that to a 6 year old!?” Crowley demanded later that night as he paced around Zira’s (their) bed. He was trying to keep his voice down, Adam had been asleep for about an hour now and he’d finally been able to tell Zira about their ice-cream date. He’d waited till Adam was in bed because he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his cool.

“A very wicked soul,” Zira murmured as Crowley continued to pace. He knew Crowley wasn’t really asking, just needed to rant about it, and he was fine to let him. 

“She loved him Zira, I swear she did, she was a wonderful mother… I just… I don’t understand,” He said, turning to look back at him. He looked so broken, so distraught, Zira hadn’t seen him look like this since he brought him back here weeks ago. “Was it me?” He finally asked, his shoulders hitching and Zira could see he was holding onto his composure by a very thin strand. “Did I make her-

“No!” Zira said, his voice sharp as he finally stood up from the bed and walked over to him. “Michael is to blame for her own actions, she must be held responsible for what she did. You did nothing to her to warrant the way she treated you.”

“If I’d told her sooner maybe…” He trailed off and Zira reached out and took both of his hands into his. 

“Crowley you were not ready to face that part of you then, let alone tell someone else about it.” Zira soothed him as he pulled him closer. “And who could blame you, the first time you told people you loved and who were supposed to love you, they shipped you off to try and ‘fix you’” He spit the last two words out. “It shouldn’t have changed the way she saw you, not if she-

“Not if she really loved me,” Crowley cut him off and Zira sighed but nodded his head. He pulled Crowley into a hug and rubbed up and down his back as he let out a sob. He maneuvered them both towards the bed, coaxing Crowley to lay back as he snuggled up next to him. He wasn’t crying, but he still buried his face into Zira’s neck.

“Perhaps we should postpone going to see her tomorrow,” Zira suggested lightly and Crowley pulled away a little and shook his head. 

“No, no I can’t risk her changing her mind. I need to try, if I can just get her to… do the right thing, just this once… I… I have to try.” He finished and Zira nodded his head and pulled him back down against him. 

“Then we’ll go, and we’ll hope there is some glimmer of the woman who once loved Adam in there willing to see reason.” Zira told him as he pet Crowley’s hair, soothing him into sleep. He sat up that night for a long while, thinking and doing something he hadn’t done in a long while, praying.

~*~Two~*~

“BeeBee is gonna be here in about 15 minutes bud, you ready?” Crowley called towards the open door to his son's room. Beez was taking Adam to the Zoo today, a special treat. It was mostly so Crowley didn’t have to explain where he and Zira were going.

“Yeah dad, I’m just getting my backpack,” Adam called back, then ran out a moment later. “BeeBee said I should bring a sweater and my sketch book.” He told his dad with a huge smile. The sketch book had been Madam Tracy’s idea, he’d been using it for about 4 months now. It was filled with pictures of him and Crowley and Beez, and now it also held many pictures of Zira. Some of the pictures of Crowley were not pleasant to look at, black and blue eyes, bleeding lip, scared wide eyes, but Madam Tracy assured him it was good for Adam to get his feelings about everything out and writing was still a bit hard for Adam, so drawing it was. 

“That’s a great idea buddy,” Crowley told him as he helped him get his shoes on. “What are you going to see first?”

“I wanna see the snakes!” He exclaimed with a huge smile. He was wiggling a bit, making it hard to get his shoes on, but Crowley knew it was just excitement. 

“Okay, that sounds great bud, but can you hold still for just a sec so I can get your shoe on?” He asked, his smile never wavering as Adam stilled a bit.

“Sorry dad,” He said with a bashful smile and Crowley chuckled. He hoped Adam never realized just how innocent he looked when he smiled like that, the kid could get away with anything with a smile like that. 

“S’okay buddy, I know how excited you are.” He told him and Adam nodded his head. 

“What are you and Zira gonna do while we’re gone?” Adam asked after Crowley finished with his shoes and pulled him back up to his feet.

“We have a few errands to run,” Crowley told him with a twinge, it wasn’t technically a lie, but he still hated it. But some things kids didn’t need to know, and begging (and yes, he was more than willing to beg) your ex-wife to reconsider her plea was one of them. 

“That’s boring,” Adam said, making a face, his little nose scrunched up. “Could we see if Pepper, Brian and Wensleydale wanna go to the zoo with us sometime before school starts? We could take Zira!”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Crowley told him with a soft smile. Pepper, Brain and Wensleydale were Adam’s best friends at school. He’d met them all on the first day when he and Pepper yelled at some kids that were teasing Brian and Wensleydale and they'd all been best friends since. 

“Good morning!” Beez said as they opened the front door, Zira had had a key made for them about a week ago and told them they were welcome over anytime. Beez had pretended to be unaffected by the gesture, but Crowley saw through that. He wasn't at all surprised when Beez had pulled Zira into a bone crushing hug that night when they headed home. Today they were wearing a red skirt with black trousers and a black t-shirt with a list that said ‘Girl, Boy, Badass’ with a little check next to Badass and Crowley chuckled. 

“Nice shirt,” He said as they walked over to them. 

“Thanks, Dagon got it for me,” They said with a smirk. Beez had never been shy talking about the fact that they were non-binary. And delighted in educating people, a good many people didn’t really know what it meant and listened with interest, some people though, were just jerks. Crowley knew they’d keep it light at the zoo, but he’d seen it almost come to blows once when some asshole kept calling them ‘she.’

“No starting fights at the zoo yeah?” Crowley told them and they smirked and nodded their head. 

“Yeah, yeah, I promise nothing,” They told him with a chuckle. It was a good thing Crowley knew them as well as he did but he still raised an eyebrow. “I promise not to hit anyone unless they  _ really _ deserve it, okay?”

“Well, I guess that’s all I can ask,” Crowley said with a chuckle. 

“Oh hello Beez!” Zira said as he stepped out of the bedroom. His hair was wet and his bowtie was still loose and hanging around his neck. And of course Crowley thought he looked fantastic. “Are you two off?” 

“Yep, me and the munchkin will be gone all day, I have plans for after the zoo and then Dagon has her nephew over, so I thought if your dad doesn’t mind,” They turned to Adam with a smile and a wink. “We might stay at her place and have a sleep over?”

“Oh dad can we?!” He asked, jumping up and down with excitement. “Please? Please? Please?” Crowley laughed and shared a look with Beez. They had mentioned it this morning when they called to say they were on their way and Crowley had told them it was fine. Crowley walked over to the couch and picked up a bag that was sitting there. 

“His toothbrush and PJ’s are in here, and two sets of clothing,” Crowley told Beez as he handed over the bag.

“Thanks dad! You’re the best!” Adam said as he plowed into Crowley’s legs to hug him. It was the first time Adam was going to be away for the whole night since everything had happened and truthfully Crowley was a little worried. He knelt down and took Adam’s hand and smiled.

“If for any reason you want to come home you tell BeeBee, okay? They won't be mad if you need to come home.” He told him, his tone serious and Adam nodded his head, understanding it was a semi serious moment.

“I promise dad.” He agreed, his voice solemn and Crowley caught a smile trying to break out on Zira’s face. 

“Okay kid, lets go,” Beez said and Crowley stood back up and Adam grabbed his backpack and threw it over his shoulder following Beez towards the door. 

“Have fun you two!” Zira called as Beez opened the door and stepped through. 

“I love you kiddo,” Crowley told him and Adam turned and waved. “I love you too dad, I love you too papa! See you tomorrow!” He called before he darted out the door, and down the stairs. Beez turned back towards them with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

“Looks like you’ve been promoted,” They said with a laugh at Zira’s shocked face. “See you two tomorrow,” They said before they closed the door and chased after Adam.

“Angel?” Crowley asked as he turned towards him, a huge smile on his face. 

“Did he…?” He trailed off as he looked over and met Crowley’s eyes. 

“Yeah he did, that okay?” He asked slightly nervous about the answer, he really shouldn’t be though. Zira nodded and then a moment later he burst into tears and Crowley pulled him into his arms with a chuckle. “Oh angel, he loves you so much.”

“I love...him too!” He said with a little sob. “I’m just...so lucky.” He said with a smile. “I’m so happy and part of me feels so guilty about it.” He finally said with a shake of his head. 

“What the hell for?” Crowley asked a little surprised as he pulled Zira back just a little. 

“I have everything I’ve ever wanted, here with you and Adam, and when I think about everything you had to go through to get here… I just…” Zira shook his head again and Crowley rubbed his back with a smile. 

“Oh angel,” Crowley said, pulling him back into his chest. “Don’t you understand? You were our light at the end of the tunnel, sure it was dark in there and scary, but at the end was you. We’re right where we’re supposed to be.” 

“I love you Crowley,” Zira said, reaching up to cup his cheek. 

“I love you too angel,” Crowley said holding on to him for just another moment.

~*~Three~*~

Crowley knew he was shaking, his whole body was all but vibrating with nervous energy. He’d not seen Michael since the night she and Sandy broke into his flat. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel when he saw her again. They were sitting at a table waiting for one of the guards to bring in Michael. 

“It’s okay love,” Zira muttered leaning into Crowley’s side a little. 

“I’m so glad you’re here angel,” Crowley told him, stilling a bit as Zira took his hand. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else,” Zira told him sincerely. Though privately he wished they could be just about anywhere else.

“My lawyer didn’t mention you were bringing someone,” Crowley looked up at the cold voice of his ex-wife. Michael had a glare on her face as she looked between the two of them with disgust. “What the hell do you want Anthony?” she asked looking over at Crowley who flinched just a little at her tone. 

“Hello Michael,” Crowley said, amazed that he was able to keep his voice from trembling over the words. “I’d ask how you’re doing, but…” He let his voice trail off and even pulled off a bit of a smirk. Though truthfully he should probably be trying to play nice, he just couldn’t stand the thought that she might think she still held any power over him.

“Yes, very cute, did you just come here to gloat, because even sitting in my cell alone is better than this,” She said, starting to stand and Crowley’s face fell.

“No, no Michael, I’m sorry, you’re right, that was childish of me,” Crowley said and Zira wondered if he was the only one who could feel the insincerity in those words. “I actually… I came to talk about Adam.” He said and she rolled her eyes. 

“What about him?” She demanded glaring at Crowley, and pointedly ignoring Zira. 

“He’s doing well, considering,” Crowley told her, keeping his tone light. “But I just…” Crowley trailed off and looked at her. “Please Michael, please don't put our boy through this.” He beseeched his eyes pleading. “He’s six, he shouldn’t have to go through this.” Crowley took a deep breath and continued. “If you continue with this ‘not guilty’ plea he’s going to have to testify. He’ll have to live with the fact that he helped put his mother in prison. Please, there must be some part of you that still loves him?”

“How could I love something that came from you? You disgust me Anthony, you and your fat little pansy boyfriend.” She said finally looking at Zira again. Crowley jerked at the insult and Zira squeezed his hand and he took a deep breath.

“Right, yeah, I knew this was a lost cause,” Crowley huffed shaking his head. “We won't keep you, I’m sure you have a lot of nothing to get back to.” Crowley said as he stood and looked down at Zira.

“Just… give me a moment, love?” Zira asked and Crowley looked from him to Michael again and nodded, walking back towards the door that led out of the visitation room. When Crowley was out of ear shot Zira turned back to Michael and smiled, but it was feral, tinged with danger and she actually jerked back a little. 

“Listen to me, you piece of trash, I was going to try to appeal to your better side, your motherly side, but I can see that won't work. You couldn’t give two shits if Adam had to grow up knowing he put his mother in prison. Or knowing that the woman that should have loved him, cared about him and cherish him, called him a mistake to his face and-

“I didn’t-

“I’m not done yet!” Zira snarled quietly and her eyes went wide and her mouth snapped shut. “I helped pick that man up off the ground, helped him and his amazing son rebuild what you destroyed and I’ll be damned if I’m going to see it happen again. Do you understand me? Beez isn’t the only person who  _ knows  _ people, Michael. I have a varied group of friends and if you don’t seriously rethink your ways I could make your time in prison  _ very _ difficult. Do you understand me? I will do anything to protect them,  _ anything _ . So you think about that while you’re doing your sitting in your cell.” He stood up and smiled at her, a fantastically brilliant smile. “Lovely to meet you Michael.” He told her, his whole demeanor shifting back to the lovable librarian as he looked her over, happy to see she looked quite shaken. He stepped away and made his way over to Crowley who was watching Michael as she stood up and the guard walked over to collect her. 

“What did you say to her angel, she looked like she’s seen a ghost.” Crowley asked and Zira was relieved to hear his voice sounded amused. 

“I just pointed out that it may be in her best interest to rethink her feelings on certain matters,” Zira said as the guard on the other side buzzed them through and Crowley turned to gawk at him. 

“You… threatened her?” Crowley asked, and still he didn’t sound upset, perhaps a little surprised though. 

“Heaven’s, it may have come across like that, I hope she didn’t take it the wrong way,” Zira said, before his very serious face broke out into a huge smile and Crowley blinked at him a few times before he started to laugh.

“Oh you’re the perfect amount of bastard, you know that? I love you so much,” He said through the laughter as he took Zira’s hand. Zira preened a bit and kissed his cheek.

“I love you too dearest,” Zira told him as they walked out of the prison. 

~*~Four~*~

Crowley and Zira were laying in bed, Crowley was laying with his back against Zira’s chest, in-between his legs as Zira ran his hands through Crowley’s hair. It was relatively early but they’d spent a good portion of the day in bed since they got home from the prison. The only time they got up was when Zira made tea and Crowley answered the door to get their takeaway. Crowley had needed a bit of comfort after returning from seeing Michael and Zira had been thrilled to give it to him. At the moment they were talking about names.

“Do you think you’d change your name? If you were to get married?” Crowley asked shyly and Zira chuckled lightly as he leaned forward and kissed him behind his ear.

“I suppose Zira Crowley doesn’t sound too bad,” Zira teased with another chuckle when Crowley huffed out a breath. “You did mean you, didn’t you darling, it’s not as if I’d ever marry anyone else.”

“Yeah, course I meant me,” Crowley grumbled as he shifted back a little, getting comfortable. Zira began rubbing Crowley’s temples and he sighed constantly.

“What do you think about children?” Zira asked and now it was Crowley’s turn to chuckle. 

“You mean besides my own?” He teased turning to smile up at Zira. who was smirking down at him. 

“Yes, besides your own, I guess what I meant was, what would you think about more children?” Zira asked and Crowley took a deep breath and settled back against his chest.

“I think there are lots of kids looking for a good family,” Crowley said, his voice a little low and timid. “We could give them that.”

“Oh Crowley dear, that was exactly what I was thinking!” Zira told him excitedly. 

“You mean you’d be okay not...having your own kids?” Crowley asked and Zira bopped him lightly on the head. 

“They would be mine...our own silly,” he said and Crowley rolled his eyes, and even though Zira couldn’t see it he could all but sense it. “But if you meant biological, I’m fine without it. I love Adam like my own, I can’t imagine it being any different for another child we brought into our family.”

“How would you feel about…” Crowley trailed off a little then sat up a bit so he could look at Zira. “How would you feel about adopting Adam?” He asked and Zira gasped a little, shocked. 

“I’d be honored if Adam and you wanted that at some point dear. You two are my whole world, and to know that I would have a legal claim to Adam, that he would be fully ours. Nothing would make me happier.” Zira gushed and Crowley’s smile lit up his face. 

“Oh how you do run on,” Crowley swooned a little dramatically into Zira’s arms. “So, marriage and adoption, we've a busy schedule love" He said as he ran his fingers over Zira's arm. "I love you angel, I’d marry you tomorrow you know, just so we’re on the same page.”

“My, my, I only just got you to agree to move in with me.” Zira told him a little surprised by Crowley’s announcement. “I’ll have to work on that then, shall I?” He murmured as he leaned into Crowley to kiss him and a shrill sound rang from the bedside table. Zira pulled away with a small smile. 

“Best answer it, could be Beez,” Zira told him and Crowley sighed but nodded his head. He picked up the phone and stared at it for a moment. 

“It’s Gabriel,” He said his heart in his throat. What could Gabriel be calling about? “Hello?” He asked as he clicked the phone over to the speaker phone. 

“Even gents, I assume I have you both yes?” Gabriel said his voice jovial. 

“Hello Gabe,” Zira said as Crowley scooted closer to him and took his hand in his free one. “How are you?”

“Doing well,” Gabriel said, and he really did sound happy about something. “Got a call about 15 minutes ago from Michael's lawyer.” He told them and Crowley sucked in a sharp breath. “Seems she’s had a bit of a change of mind.” He said and Zira could hear the laughter and excitement in Gabriel's voice. “Seems your little talk really brought her round. She just got done making a deal with the DA, she’s going to testify against Sandy. But in order to do that she has to change her plea to Guilty.” He said and Zira could feel Crowley was starting to shake a bit.

“What does that mean for Adam, Gabe?” He asked since he wasn’t sure Crowley could get the words out at the moment. 

“He won't have to testify. Neither will Crowley, I’ll need a signed affidavit about what happened, but just from him. You guys don’t even have to come to the trail.” As Gabriel finished speaking Crowley’s whole body went slack and he sank down to the bed, face pressed into the mattress. Zira could feel his whole body shaking with sobs and knew it was mostly happiness and relief.

“That's wonderful to hear Gabe, thank you for calling to let us know,” He told his brother and Gabriel chuckled and Zira could just picture his pleased smile. 

“Happy to help, even though I didn’t do much, you’ll have to tell me about that visit sometime Brother,” Gabriel told him and Zira was sure he was blushing a bit. “I’ll let you go so you can celebrate. Dinner on me next week, yes?”

“We’d love that,” Zira said as he took the mobile out of Crowley’s hand. “I’ll talk to you soon Gabe.”

“For sure Zira, give the kid a hug for me and tell him Uncle Gabe is looking forward to getting to know him better,” He said and Zira felt tears swell in his own eyes. 

“I will, goodbye Gabe, thank you” He said before he hung up the mobile and set it back on the table by the bed. He gathered Crowley up in his arms and pulled him to his chest. 

“Oh my love,” he said as he nuzzled into the nape of his neck and Crowley let out a wet chuckle. 

“He won't have to testify,” Crowley said, sounding amazed as he pulled away from Zira with shining eyes and a huge smile on his face. “It’s really over angel.”

“Yes, it is really over,” Zira told him as he pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head. 

“I love you so much dear,” Zira told him and Crowley let out a soft little sigh. 

“I love you too angel,” He said as he wrapped his arms around him. “I love you so much.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I hope everyone enjoyed reading BAMF Aziraphale as much as I enjoyed writing him! I'm excited and sad that this story is working towards the end. I may do a bit of a 'What if' story about how things would have played out if Crowley had Found Zira before all the trouble with Sandy and Michael if there's an interest. ;-) I really, really love hearing from my readers! Have a good week everyone!


	12. Celebrate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley takes a huge step forward in his healing when he does something he's been putting off. Gabe takes Zira and Crowley to dinner and has some interesting news of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting close to the end now. :-) There will be one more chapter then the epilogue. I hope everyone has enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it!

Crowley stood at the bottom of the staircase, staring up the insurmountable climb. He knew physically it was an easy climb, knew that one foot after another would take him up the stairs. But mentally it was a whole other problem. Up those easy 13 stairs lay a door, and behind that door lay a mostly normal flat. A flat that had, up to a point, been a very happy place. He tried to focus on the happy memories that surrounded that flat. Tried to drown out his own screams of pain and the crying of his son. Tried to conjure up the memory of moving in, that first night in the flat. When he thought he and Adam were finally free of the pain from before. But it was so hard not to hear his son calling out for him in fear, not to hear  _ her _ voice calling him worthless and  _ wrong.  _

“We don’t have to do this now,” Crowley jumped just a little at the voice next to him. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath and turned to look at Zira. He’d actually gotten so lost in his head he’d forgotten he was not doing this alone. He watched as Zira reached out and wiped a tear off his face. He hadn’t even realized he’d started crying. 

“I…” Crowley cleared his throat and shook his head. “I can do this.” He said and Zira stared at him for just a moment then nodded. “Just, stay okay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Zira told him and Crowley knew he didn't just mean now. Crowley turned back toward the stairs and took a deep breath before stepping up onto the first step, then the next. He could feel Zira right behind him, his hand resting firmly on his lower back, as if helping guide him up. When they got to the top Crowley was proud to see his hands were steady as he pulled out his key and unlocked the door. It was a new lock, since Beez had fixed the door and changed the locks when they moved it. He closed his eyes and instead of  _ ‘Run Adam!’  _ screaming in his head he heard a new voice, the voice of an angel, saying  _ ‘I love you’  _ and he found it wasn’t as hard to open the door as he’d thought it might be. 

There was a new rug runner across the floor, and he didn’t want to think about what it might be covering up, since it was right in the spot that Sandy had bashed his head into the floor.

“Breath love,” Zira said squeezing his hand and Crowley sucked in a lung full of air. 

“Thanks,” he muttered as he looked around the rest of the flat. It looked mostly the same as it had the last time he was here. Beez seemed to be adding a bit of their flare here and there, but by and large it was still his flat. 

“How are you feeling?” Zira asked and Crowley sighed and shrugged. “Because this is a lot, we don’t have to do any more today.”

“I know,” He said nodding his head. Madame Tracy had told him that going up was a great step, and that he didn’t have to do it all in one fell swoop. But he wanted to have this behind him, before he stepped forward with their new life. He took a determined step into the flat and waited. The fear was still there, lingering in the back of his mind, but it wasn’t overwhelming, it didn’t feel like it would swallow him whole anymore. 

“Thank you,” he said, not looking up from where his eyes were glued to the floor. “I’m sure you’re getting tired of looking after me and-

“Crowley I love you,” He told him firmly, “You and Adam are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will  _ never _ get tired of helping either of you heal and move on. I will work at it everyday, for the rest of our lives. Because I love you both so much.”

“I love you too angel,” Crowley told him, before he took a few deep breaths. “Let's start in the kitchen,” He finally said looking over at Zira with the barest of smiles on his face. One of the reasons they came today was because Crowley wanted to prove to himself that he could get past the fear, but the other was to finish packing them up, so they could fully move in with Zira. Beez had gotten just about all their clothing and Adam’s toys. But they were unsure what nicknacks and kitchen stuff Crowley might want. 

“Okay darling,” Zira said, picking up one of the boxes Beez had left on the floor for them. “Let's get started,” He said before he reached up and kissed his cheek with a smile.

~*~One~*~

“That’s great Crowley, I’m so proud of you,” Madame Tracy said the next day at his session. He huffed out a sigh and rolled his eyes.

“All I did was go up some stairs,” he mumbled and Tracy shook her head. She should have known he’d downplay his own achievements. 

“Is that all you did, really?” She asked and Crowley huffed out another sound then rolled his shoulders. 

“Do you remember when you and Adam first started coming?” She asked and he looked over at her at the sudden change in topic.

“Course I do,” he said nodding his head and Tracy smiled. 

“Do you remember how terrified Adam was of sleeping alone?” She asked and Crowley nodded his head. It had been terrible. For the first two months after he left Michael Adam couldn’t be in a room alone, let alone sleep by himself.

“Yes,” he hissed out, seeing where she was going with this already. 

“And do you remember how proud you were, when he made it through 6 hours asleep in his own room?” She asked and Crowley stood up from his chair and started pacing. Oh, that had taken longer than normal. 

“Adam wasn’t even 6 yet,” Crowley told her, as if he could avoid answering the question. “He had a right to be afraid, his mum had hit him, and he’d seen her hit me.” 

“Crowley, someone broke into your home and tried to take your son. You then had to watch Adam run away, without knowing if you’d ever see him again.” She said turning towards him, tracking him with her eyes as he paced. “And that all happened in a place you should have been safe. A place you told Adam he would be safe. And someone took that away from you.”

“I failed him,” Crowley muttered and Tracy shook her head. They had only touched on this, mostly because Crowley wouldn’t open up about it.

“Michael failed him,” She told him firmly. “You did everything you could to keep him safe.”

“I should have left her sooner,” He said, always so ready to take on the blame. 

“Crowley, we can not change the past,” She reminded him and he rolled his eyes at a well worn line. “Crowley,” She said and he rolled his eyes again but nodded. 

“We can not change the past,” he repeated, though his tone was a little childish. 

“So, were you proud of him?” She asked pulling him full circle and he sighed. 

“I was so proud of him,” he finally said, "We sat in his room and cried before I made him a huge breakfast.” he told her and she nodded. She remembered because they’d called her right after they ate to tell her of Adam’s success. 

“And when you got home last night, was Zira proud of you?” She asked and he chuckled and nodded his head. 

“He told me at least 4 times, before he made us a huge dinner. When Beez got back with Adam he told them and they told me they were proud too. And Beez doesn’t throw words like that around.”

“So, is it not reasonable that you might be a bit proud of yourself, for overcoming something so traumatic?” She asked and Crowley walked back over and dropped into his seat again. 

“I’m proud of myself, even though I know I couldn’t have done it if Zira wasn’t there.” He finally said and Tracy nodded, a huge smile on her face. 

“We all need someone’s hand to hold sometimes Crowley, at 6 years old or 27.” She told him and he smiled a little and nodded his head.

~*~Two~*~

Crowley looked himself over in the mirror with a small smile. It had been almost two weeks since they’d gotten the call from Gabe that Michael was changing her plea to guilty. Anathema was here to watch Adam since they were finally going to dinner with Gabe to celebrate. He reached up and messed with the red tie around his neck. He was in an all black suit, the tie was the only pop of color, it was one of his favorites. Zira hadn’t seen him yet and he was both excited and nervous to see what he thought. 

“Crowley love, I seem to be all thumbs tonight, I can't quite… Oh my,” Zira breathed out the last two wourds as he looked up from his wrists, where he seemed to be struggling with cufflinks. Crowley puffed up a little at the way Zira’s eyes traveled up and down his body before he met his eyes. Then he took in what Zira was wearing and felt his eyes go wide, he had on a dark blue button up, way out of his normal color scheme, and black braces on, but they were not yet pulled up over his shoulders, so they hung down around his hips and Crowley groaned a little and Zira smirked.

“I...angel...you...wow.” He stuttered out and Zira chuckled as he stepped over and held out his wrists.

“Please help me,” He asked playfully and Crowley blinked a few times before he looked down at his wrists and chuckled. 

“Right, yes, cufflinks, dinner with your brother,” Crowley said nodding his head to try and dispel some of the naughty thoughts swirling around his brain at the moment. 

“So you like the color then? It’s not too dark?” Zira asked looking down at his shirt then back to Crowley. Crowley used his grip on Zira’s arms to pull him closer then leaned down next to his ear.

“If our son wasn’t on the other side of that door with Anathema right now I’d have you on that bed already so I could take you apart, piece by piece till you were blissfully naked and begging for more,” He ran his hands down to Zira’s hips, rubbing his thumbs in little circles. “Yeah, I like the color,” Crowley growled into Zira’s ear before he kissed his neck, nipping him just a little. 

“Crowley,” Zira groaned as he felt his body respond to Crowley’s words and had to hold himself in check when Crowley kissed his neck. “You can’t just say things like that before dinner with my brother.” he scolded, but he looked very pleased with himself.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t parade around the flat half naked in that color then, it does things to me,” Crowley murmured with a smirk and a wink.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind,” Ezra said with his own wink. Then he wiggled his arms in Crowley’s hands. “Now, if you’d be a dear, and help me with these cufflinks?” he asked, making Crowley chuckle as he pulled away just a little so he could pull his arms up and help him clip the cufflinks into place. 

“There angel, all set,” he told him before he raised Zira’s hand up to kiss the back of it. “But we’re coming back to this later tonight.” he told him with an eyebrow wiggle and Zira blushed just a little.

“Looking forward to it,” He told him as he leaned up to kiss him lightly.

“Zira, someone is here,” Anathema called from the living room and Zira smiled. They pulled apart, both not really wanting to, but they knew dinner had to come first.

“Gabe is a little early,” Zira said as he walked over to his closet and pulled out the rest of his suit. It was a greyish blue that matched the pants he was wearing. Crowley just stood back and watched as Zira pulled the braces up onto his shoulders then pulled on a waistcoat. There was something quite mesmerizing about watching Zira get dressed, it was the exact opposite of a striptease, but it seemed to be having the same effect on Crowley. Zira topped it all off with a blue blazer that fit him perfectly, highlighting his strong shoulders and thick fantastic arms. 

“Wow angel, how have I never seen this suit before?” Crowley asked as he stepped away from the wall he was leaning on so he could circle him. 

“Well my dear we haven’t really had an occasion to get dressed up like this, because I feel very much the same about this suit,” He said reaching out when Crowley stopped in front of him and to run his hand down his lapel. 

“Well, we may have to go out like this more often than,” Crowley whispered as he pulled him close again, kissing up the side of his neck. 

“Are you two decent?!” A loud voice shouted a second before Beez threw their bedroom door open, making both of them jump a little. 

“Damnit Beez, what the hell?” Crowley demanded turning to take in his sibling. They were wearing black dress pants and a black waistcoat and a white dress shirt, opened at the collar, with a small bee shaped pin on the shoulder of the waistcoat. “Why are you so dressed up?”

“For dinner?” They said, giving him a funny look. “With Gabriel?” They said, like he should have known that. And while he did know that was why he and Zira were dressed up, it still didn’t make sense that they were dressed up. Then they smirked and chuckled. “Did he not tell you he invited me?” They asked, still smirking at them.

“Ah, of course he did, invite you I mean. It was remiss of us, not to include you in the dinner in the first place.” Zira told them with a huge smile as he stepped over to take their hand. “You look lovely my dear.” He told them as he pulled their hand up and kissed the back of it. Normally something like that may have ruffled their feathers, but they knew Zira well enough by now to know it had nothing to do with either of their genders and everything to do with affection and love.

“Right, sorry Beez, Zira’s right, we should have invited you.” Crowley told them and they shrugged their shoulders. Honestly they had been a bit thrilled when Gabriel had called them a few days ago to invite them to this dinner himself. So they didn’t hold any kind of grudge against Crowley or Zira, not that they were going to tell them that.

“It’s fine,” They said with a smirk and a shrug. “At least  _ someone's  _ brother was considerate enough to think of me.” They teased and Crowley rolled his eyes. 

“Yes, I’m a terrible, ungrateful big brother,” he teased right back and Zira just smiled as he watched them pick on each other. 

“Gabriel is here,” Anathema called from the living room. Crowley looked over at Zira and smiled and watched out the corner of his eye as Beez ran their hands through their short hair, a nervous glint to their eyes now. Well, that was interesting. 

They all walked out of the bedroom as Anathema opened the front door and Gabriel stepped through. He looked even sharper than normal. His dark grey suit had been traded for one that was almost a greyish purple. His tie, which was definitely purple, matched his pocket square and he had a huge smile on his face. Crowley took a deep breath to hold back tears, when the first thing he did when he stepped through the door was kneel down as Adam ran towards him, his arms open wide for the jumping hug he was about to get. He laughed, a big booming thing, when Adam crashed into him, then wrapped his arms around him and stood up, Adams legs dangling down in front of him.

“Hi!” Adam said in-between his giggling as Gabriel swung him around just a little before he set him down. 

“Hello young man,” He said as he stood back up, ruffling Adam’s hair along the way. “So, are we all ready to go?” he asked, clapping his hands together as he looked around at everyone. Crowley didn’t miss the way he stopped at Beez for a moment before turning to Zira. 

“We are Gabe,” Zira said with a smile. Crowley walked over to Adam and knelt down in front of him. 

“Be good yeah?” He asked and Adam nodded his head. “Bedtime at 9:30,” he said before he leaned into his son and whispered “But I bet you can talk Anathema into staying up till 10.” He pulled back with a wink and Adam giggled and every other adult had to fight off a smile. 

“Okay daddy,” He said, wrapping his arms around his neck to hug him. When he pulled away he walked over to Zira and held out his arms and Zira pulled him up into a hug. 

“Be good darling,” Zira whispered into his hair. “And tomorrow you and I are going out for Ice-cream while your daddy is at work.” He told him as he set him down.

“Yes!” Adam called with a happy little wiggle that Crowley was pretty sure he’d picked up from Zira. “Can we get sprinkles papa?” He asked, suddenly solemn, his head tilted to the side. 

“ _ And _ gummies,” He told him and Adam jumped up and down with a huge smile on his face. 

“Hey kiddo, you mind if I tag along tomorrow?” Gabriel asked and Adam looked up at him with wide eyes. There was surprise in his eyes, like he genuinely couldn’t believe another adult wanted to spend time with him.

“You wanna come get ice cream with me and Zira?” He asked and Gabe nodded his head. He was sure a good amount of that doubt came from his mother not wanting to be around him. And he vowed to never make him feel unwanted.

“Course I do, we got lots of ‘getting to know you’ to do, since we’re going to be family, sooner or later,” He said and Crowley glanced over at Beez when they mumbled “Sooner” under their breath, making Gabe smirk.

“Okay,” Adam said nodding his head. “‘S’long as papa doesn’t mind,” He told him looking over at Zira, who hastily wiped at his eyes and put a smile on his face as he nodded. 

“Of course he may come darling,” Zira told him and Adam nodded then smiled at Gabriel. 

“Daddy leaves for work at 9:30, but we won't go get ice cream till after lunch.” Adam told him and Gabriel nodded his head. “And papa is teaching me how to make- He cut himself off and his eyes went wide and he looked up at Zira. 

“It’s okay,” He told him and Adam nodded. 

“It’s a surprise, but if you’d like you could join us for lunch first.” Adam told him, sounding like a little adult and Crowley knew he was picking that up from Zira too. 

“I’d love that, is noon good?” He asked, looking over his head just a little at Zira’s nod.

“Yep!” Adam told him happily, thrilled with his schedule for the next day. 

“Wonderful,” Zira said and Crowley squeezed his hand.

“You guys better get going,” Anathema told them with a smile. “Don’t you have reservations at 8?”

“Yes, yes we do, alright gang, let's go,” Gabe said as he clapped his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye BeeBee, bye Gabe, bye daddy, bye papa!” Adam said as they all filed out the door and he shut it behind them. 

“Okay, what's say we pull out the chocolate and make chocolate milk and then popcorn and watch ‘How to Train Your Dragon?’” Anathema asked once everyone was gone and Adam smiled and nodded his head. He didn’t really understand why, but he felt warm all over, like his daddy was hugging him, even though his daddy had just left. He really liked it, whatever it was.

~*~Three~*~

"I don't think I'll ever understand that," Gabe said pointing at Zira's plate with his chopsticks. Zira had an assortment of sushi next to his fried rice and Crowley chuckled. 

"Me either, sorry angel, but I like my food cooked," Crowley said, picking up a pork dumpling. 

"Ah, they don't know what they're missing," Beez said as they picked up a piece of nigiri and dipped in their soy sauce with a smirk. 

"Indeed my dear," Zira agreed, making a face at Crowley before he turned on his brother. They both laughed and Zira felt light at the site. Crowley looked so free, so relaxed. Gone were the bruises, the sunken eyes lit by fear. He no longer seemed to turn into himself, his smiles came easier and more often and Zira couldn't be happier. 

"Oh, I've some news," Gabe said and Zira felt like his heart might stop. He really hoped Gabe wasn't about to mention the case, or Michael. "I've decided to buy a flat, move to this side of the pond permanently." He finished and Zira's eyes went wide. Gabe liked London well enough, but he didn't think he'd ever want to stay here for good. 

"Don't you live here already?" Beez asked as they picked up their sake. 

"Kind of, I go back and forth. I have an apartment, flat," he corrected with a chuckle. "I have a flat in New York, and I normally rent a place here, but I don't know." He shrugged his shoulders and Crowley saw his eyes dart to Zira, then more subtly towards Beez. "Now seems like a good time to settle here."

"I bet your mother is thrilled," Zira teased and Gabe winced just a little. 

"No, she's not, but your dad's talking her around. There was even talk of them moving here too." He said and Zira looked even more shocked. "Have you talked to him recently?"

“Yes,” Zira said, nodding his head with a smile. “We video chatted with him last week. Though he didn’t say anything about your news, or mention moving over here.”

“Adam is quite keen to meet them,” Crowley said squeezing his hand. Zira had reintroduced him to his dad a few days after they got the call about Michael. He’d been hesitant to do it before because he didn’t want to overwhelm him. But with all that behind them he’d eagerly told him that he’d told his dad that they had reconnected around the same time he told Gabe. He’d only told his dad the bare minimum when they first spoke. Mostly just that Crowley was going through a very hard divorce. Crowley had decided to tell him a bit more when they spoke over Zoom. There had been talk of Zira’s dad, Jason, and his wife, coming out to meet him and Adam before school started. 

“I don’t remember much about your dad,” Beez said looking over to Zira, pointing their chopsticks at him. “But I assume, if you're still speaking, that he doesn’t have a problem with your sexuality?” They asked and Crowley was not at all surprised by their bluntness.

“No, he’s very supportive. He has Pride stickers on his motorcycle,” Zira said and Gabe chuckled. The stickers were on his helmet too, and on his car, and there was a Pride flag in their front yard. A few of the neighbors had complained about it, so he added two more, one over the garage and one in the backyard.

“Yes Beez, stand down,” Crowley said with a smirk and the chuckled. 

“We seem to have lost the story here a bit,” Zira said looking at Gabe with a huge smile. “I didn’t think you’d ever settle down here.”

“Well, lots going on here Zira,” he said the nickname with a special emphasis. “Seems like there might be a lot going on here in the future.” His eyes darted down to Crowley and Zira’s linked hands before he looked back up at his brother and smiled. 

“Have you found a place yet?” Crowley asked and Gabe nodded his head as he took a bite of his dinner. He took a drink and smiled at him. 

“Yeah, I found a flat in Mayfair, a nice little two bedroom place,” he told them and Zira tilted his head. 

“Mayfair, that’s not far from the bookshop,” Zira said with a knowing smirk and Crowley nodded. 

“Or my shop,” Crowley added and Gabe nodded his head, looking mildly surprised.

“Is it?” He asked, in a tone that said he knew exactly how far it was from both those places. “Well good, I’ll be able to keep an eye on you guys.”

“You gonna keep an eye on me too Gabe?” Beez asked and Crowley’s eyes went wide at the tone. That had almost sounded flirty, Beez didn’t really do flirty.

“Would it bother you if I did?” He asked, his tone just as flirty and Beez laughed and shook their head. 

“You know, I don’t think it would,” They said, shaking their head and both Crowley and Zira saw the pleased little smile on Gabes face.

~*~Four~*~

“Oh man,” Crowley whisper yelled as they walked up the stairs to their flat later that night. “I mean, you saw that too right? It wasn’t just me?”

“Yes dear, it would seem Beez and Gabe were flirting.” Zira agreed as he pulled out the keys. He unlocked the door as Crowley giggled next to him. He’d had a bit more Sake than Zira had, not enough to be drunk, but he was certainly more giggly than normal. 

“Is that weird?” Crowley asked as he followed Zira into the flat. The lights were off and Anathema was asleep on the couch. Zira locked the door behind them and then grabbed Crowley's hand and pulled him into their room, before he woke Anathema or Adam.

“I mean, your brother and...Beez, is that weird?” He asked again as Zira shut the bedroom door and turned to him. 

“I think it’ll be fine dear,” Zira told him and Crowley nodded thoughtfully. He watched as Zira reached up to untie the bow-tie at his neck and his eyes went wide. 

“Stop that,” he said as he stepped over and batted his hands away gently. 

“I’m not allowed to get undressed? I know you like this suit, but I’m not sleeping in it love,” Zira teased and Crowley chuckled as he reached up and began to untie it himself. 

“No, I don’t want you to sleep in the suit,” he muttered after he got it untied. He let it dangle at the collar as he began to undo the buttons at his neck. “Trust me, you won't be doing much sleeping at all.” He said with a small smirk before he leaned in and captured his lips in a kiss.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And thank you to everyone who has left comments! I love reading all of your comments, they give me life! And a special thank you too SMITSJUSTAJAYREALLY! I could not have done this without your encouragement!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys like this! I live for comments and kudos! :-) 
> 
> I'm still working on my other stories too don't worry, but this came to me the other day and I had to start it. Being stuck at home with the kids has it's advantages, I can write whenever they're not online doing homework or we're working on a project together. Everyone stay safe out there!


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